Easy Adjustment

We've started getting up before the sun to walk with the peeps during the weekdays
For some reason we do not understand, the peeps want to stay in bed FOREVER on the weekends!
It drives us crazy.
5:45 a.m. rolls around and we're jumping on the people, smacking them in the face with our noses and paws trying to get them outta bed.
We're creatures of habit, not just 5 days a week habits...all 7 days.
I mean what does it matter to us, getting up early, we've got all day to nap.

Marlon Hamo.

As you all may know, I am what you might call a garbage hound.
I gobble up whatevfur I can get my paws on.
which lately, includes, Max's food, my food, the peeps food.
On our visit to the lake today,
the peeps noticed my big round buddha bellay is a little rounder these days
and *gasp* I'm not as tenacious this year with the laketime frisbee
This is quite disturbing.
Last year, I was superHam!
Powering through the water after my frisbee for a full hour!
I was a true athlete. Rippling hammy muscles and all.
This year, eh, not so much.
So despite the mean peeps calling me a fat ham (mean, just mean), Mom is putting me back on the road to my peak form again.
This means, eating only my food *GASP, I'm gonna starve!*
and back to our morning workouts at the Lake - which I LOVE!
Well, there's good and bad, in everything.
I don't really appreciate the new nickname, Marlon Ham-O.
Not funny, peeps, Not funny.

Marlon Hamo.

As you all may know, I am what you might call a garbage hound.
I gobble up whatevfur I can get my paws on.
which lately, includes, Max's food, my food, the peeps food.
On our visit to the lake today,
the peeps noticed my big round buddha bellay is a little rounder these days
and *gasp* I'm not as tenacious this year with the laketime frisbee
This is quite disturbing.
Last year, I was superHam!
Powering through the water after my frisbee for a full hour!
I was a true athlete. Rippling hammy muscles and all.
This year, eh, not so much.
So despite the mean peeps calling me a fat ham (mean, just mean), Mom is putting me back on the road to my peak form again.
This means, eating only my food *GASP, I'm gonna starve!*
and back to our morning workouts at the Lake - which I LOVE!
Well, there's good and bad, in everything.
I don't really appreciate the new nickname, Marlon Ham-O.
Not funny, peeps, Not funny.

I thought to myself, "so, this is how it ends, huh?"

All in all, It was a pawtastical weekend at my house!
ok, but down to the important story of how it almost ended fur me, your beloved Ham.
We took a trip to the lake
Evfurrything was pawsome there, right?
Right.
I was wading in the shallows, splashing around a little, having some fun.
It all turned south when the peeps pulled out the chuck-it.
Pals, the water in this particular lake is still pretty arctic.
Despite the fact that we saw a deer swimming across it when we first arrived on the scene.
Arctic.
But if somebody throws a tennis ball or a frisbee, I gotta get it.
I ran up on the dock and leapt off
DUNKed under and popped back up to go get the ball (mom always gasps when I go under - one night, when I was just new at my peeps house, my mom woke up out of a dead sleep in a panic having had a dream that I was drowning. She's never been able to let that nightmare go, I guess)
All of a sudden, I realized, crap, this is way too cold
The peeps were all yelling for me to get the ball
I was like, furget it, you crazy peeps!
And walked toward the shore. So upset was I about this situation (the ball was slowly drifting away) that I had to eat a bunch of grass.
I calmed down and decided to go for it again!
I swam out...then all of a sudden, I can't explain it, I think my heart stopped, my insides were freezing, hypothermia was setting in! I started swimming in circles, I couldn't see the ball!
Finally, I heard mom shouting to me from the shore and I swam towards her voice (cuz she sounded a little hysterical, so I had to make sure she was OK!)
Well, I got in toward the shore and all that grass came back up on me
and again
and again
At this point, mom is totally freaking out (to be fair, I do think my organs quit working at one point - though I'm no dogtor, but I think she had reason to be a little skeered) So, I walked over and comforted her.
I stood there and let her hold onto me so she could see that I was fine.
I was walking a little slow fur awhile but I'm a tough and hardy ham.
After a half hour or so, I felt just fine.
Back to my old loudmouth ways BOL!

by the fur, that tennis ball is long gone. sads.

chewing is for SUCKA's

I hafta be ready at any moment for a tasty morsel from the peeps
which is the reason why I don't chew anything they give me.
You see? Just in case they throw something else down right away (or if Kodi fumbles his catch), I gotta be ready for the rebound.
Cases in point:
Baby carrots - down the gullet WHOLE.
large hunks of beef - took a bit of doing, but I got it down without chewing
Rebound example: Kodi fumbled his fish oil tablet, so I got his along with mine - WOOT!!

Not evfurry dog can do this.
I can, because I have an iron gut.
Seriously, who else do you know that can swallow a carrot whole and digest it?

Loving Spring

It's 47 degrees and there's still some ice on the water
but the edges are thawed
I say that calls for a swim!
and after that I found something fabulous to roll in
(complete with some leaves, mud and stickers which are still on my back) BOL!
Mom was taking a video of me after the swim and roll
telling me what a disaster I looked like and asking what was on my back,
when I burped right in her face BOL BOL!!!

I never said I was a lady. BOL!

waffle sunday.

Our food is set out for us
but we are boycotting it.
You see, sunday morning is waffle day.
We know Dad makes us extra waffles (the peeps would be wise to give us our cut before setting some extra waffles out for the skwerls!)
After the peeps eat, Dad is in the kitchen cleaning up and we sense the time fur our waffles is close
We make our move and close in...like a hungry pack in the wild.
We wait...patiently circling our prey, uh, I mean our Dad
He puts waffles in a ziploc bag, we wait for him to fumble a waffle
Kodi waits on the couch, he doesn't make a move unless it's absolutely necessary
I lick my chops and continue to circle Dad,
I'm hot on his heels as he carries the giant belgian waffle over to Kodi on the couch
It's finally time!
He divvies out pieces of waffle to each of us
I swallow mine whole, of course,
Max tries to chew really fast so he doesn't miss the next piece
Kodi gulps his and gets in trouble every time for trying to take the peeps hand with the treat BOL!
But it is all over too quickly.
Another waffle sunday on the books.

Ham Sammich.

The only kind of meat that belongs in the peeps sammich is:
Free Range Hammy
BOL!

I. Am. Scarface.

I was out on my walk today, freeranging, as I like to call it
when I came upon some barbed wire fencing
it snagged me right below the eye
causing a slight (1/2 inch) cut.
But since I was in the zone
I didn't feel a thing
Not until we got home at which point the peeps noticed blood dried on my face
Mom freaked out (of course)
and threatened to get me a kevlar suit complete with helmet and goggles
Dad applied a little peroxide and pain relief neosporin and told me I was lucky I didn't catch the wire in the eye.
It's still irritated and I keep trying to scratch it with my paw
Mom sez it pains her to look at my gaping wound
Dad sez I'm gonna look super tough, and he keeps calling me Scarface!
I could get used to that BOL!

I. Am. Scarface.

I was out on my walk today, freeranging, as I like to call it
when I came upon some barbed wire fencing
it snagged me right below the eye
causing a slight (1/2 inch) cut.
But since I was in the zone
I didn't feel a thing
Not until we got home at which point the peeps noticed blood dried on my face
Mom freaked out (of course)
and threatened to get me a kevlar suit complete with helmet and goggles
Dad applied a little peroxide and pain relief neosporin and told me I was lucky I didn't catch the wire in the eye.
It's still irritated and I keep trying to scratch it with my paw
Mom sez it pains her to look at my gaping wound
Dad sez I'm gonna look super tough, and he keeps calling me Scarface!
I could get used to that BOL!