Hello World!

Diahhrreeah!

Let's see, where to begin. First off, Mommy spends a disproportionate amount of time and money trying to ensure that I smell nice. She says I can smell like a dog, but not like a dirty, gross dog. I am not sure what that means. Usually the action is to take me to the groomer about once every three to four weeks and they clean my ears and fur and make me all pretty. I'm a girl dog so I can admit to being a little bit vain some of the time. And the nice groomer lady leaves the hair on my head a little longer so I can look more like Mommy. Fun!

Well I figured since mom is always trying to enhance my odor, maybe I'd treat her to a new smell all on my own! Now in the past this has included some nice strawberry gum that I found lying on the ground. (Mom says I was lucky it didn't stick to my fur. I had a nice candy smell for a few days after that one) I've also found rose petals which mom really liked, especially for her allergies. One time I found a great little rotting snail carcass that had been smooshed almost beyond recognition, but Mommy saw me get near that one and I was not allowed to try on Eau de Snail. Darn Mommy.

So Mommy takes me to the dog park fairly regularly. One day, when we were there, she was talking to another person who knows the value of a rescued dog when I found a treat of all treats! Diarrhea! It wasn't mine, some other dog's, but I thought Mommy would love what new smell I'd found and so I rolled all in it. Got it in my fur nice and good. Then I ran over to mommy, mouth open, doggy laugh, tail wagging to show her what I did. Wasn't I a good girl, Mommy?

Okay, furry friends, let me just say that your hoomin might not appreciate Eau de Watery Poop. The look on my mom's face was priceless. I think she would have thrown up but she was afraid I'd like to roll in that too. I mean come on, mommy, I do have taste. She dragged me to a fountain and tried to rinse me off but every time she rubbed me down, she got a handful of slimey diarrhea. I kept looking at her wagging my tail saying "See, I did just like you did! I changed my smell!"

Now let's not forget to mention that this is 15 minutes before Mommy has to leave for work. Lazy mommy thought I could run at the dog park and she could then leave for work and I would have had some exercise. Mommy works in the evening (this fact is integral to the story). But now I'm perfumed and Mommy is freaking out. I sleep on the bed, couch, chair, floor and everywhere else I feel like in our home. I'm the baby and that's what babies do. We are spoiled. I couldn't wait to get home and refresh Mommy's home with a nice slimy poop smell.

Mommy said that will not do. She called the groomer last minute (they also board) and said Please help us! They had room but needed my shot records and MOmmy didn't have them from the shelter yet so she had to make a bunch of frantic calls while I sat there trying to figure out what was wrong. Eventually we straightened everything out, mommy left me and it cost her $100 to board and groom me. I said, if you'd let me find more stuff to roll in, we wouldn't have had this problem.

Oh well, poor mommy. She says my dog park privileges are revoked. Darn.