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ozpaws

legal beagle

dear diaries,

mommy started law school in septembers, and i am not sure that i likes it. all she does EVER is look in her books. i try to remind her that she really should be looking into my soft brown eyes. i have developed many strategies, which i will list here:


nudge the hand
mommy is always writing things, but she can't write if my head is in the way. i find that positionings my head beneath her hand is a useful way to get an ear scratch and disrupt the highlighters.

eat the highlighters
they aren't very yummy, but occasionally i do chew on the end of mommy's pens in retribution. i thinks purple is my favorite.

scootch, scootch and lick
gradual encroachment upon mommy's books looks decidedly cute and is clearly the most effective measure to enforce my no-studying policy. i simply crawl up close to mommy's lap and rest my head gently against the side of the books. then i sigh and move my paw onto the pages. then i shuffles up until my chin is actually resting in the middle of the text. if mommy still pretends not to notice me, i lick her hands while she's taking notes. usually, this makes her giggle and scratch my belly. ozzies LOVE belly scratches!

butting up against troubles
when all else fails, i walk right up to mommy's books and SIT ON THEM. it shows those darned books who's the boss, and mommy has to look at me and not all the stinky words. this is a very direct approach and usually makes my mommy kinda angry, but sometimes a dog has to take drastic measures to get a little lovin'. not that moms doesn't procrastinate with me every second that she gets ...


that has been my life, latelies. the good news is, mommy and i don't live alone, anymores. we rented a bedroom so we could keep our home, and now i have two new friends living with me: sandy and darien. darien is the bestest. he feeds me all sorts of tasty foods whenever i ask, and he jumps with me and runs with me and stays up all night. mommy says that all that playing has made me skinny like a puppy again. sandy is nice too, but she is a clean person and won't let me lick her face. i don't know whys! at least she gives good belly rubs, though.

so anyway, i get more walks and i get lots of love, but i miss my mommy! law school lasts for 21 doggy years, so she had better quit studying before i'm an old man. otherwise, hm. i just might eats her homework, like they say!

doggy tag!

baxter bojangles, i officially blames this on YOU!


Here are the rules:
Each player starts with seven random facts about themselves. Dogs who are tagged need to post in their Diary the rules & their 7 pawsome facts. Then choose 7 dogs to tag and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment that they have been tagged and to read your blog!


1. you know that silky feeling you like when you pet my head? i only have it when mommy hasn't given me the baths. i feel like a wooly mammoth when i am cleans.

2. deep down inside, i can be nice to cats, if i haves to.

3. i only haves to be nice to cats if they can beat me up.

4. sometimes i like to poke things with my nose, just to see what happens. and sometimes, when i poke doors with my nose, i get stuck in rooms all alone. and when mommy finally finds me and lets me out, i hang my head and wag my tail like a sad charlie chaplins.

5. if i'm not pattering around the house, you should check on your lunch!

6. if mommy leaves the house for more then ten hours, sometimes i sneak into the pantry and get dinners for myself!

7. my favorite place to sleep is right behind mommy's knees, when she curls up in a ball.



okay, not that any of you have to do this, but i am goings to tag:
princess titania
deedee
bella
benny
sir winston churchill wurchill
gussie finknottle
and paisley

dog survey

i haves too much time waiting for mommy to come home from work!



What’s your name?
ozzie, king of the fuzz

How did you get your name?
my foster mommy gave it to me befores i was adopted

What’s your owner’s name?
mommy. (sometimes people call her maisha, too.)

What breed are you?
the kind that bites squirrels

How much did you cost?
a $250 adoption fee, and a handful of kibble

What’s your favorite toy?
my bouncy red devil toy. he goes SPROING, SPROING! and i try to get him and he gets away and it's fun!

Tap water or bottled water?
pet fountain, thank yous very much

Do you walk or are you carried?
are you kidding me? mommy can't chase the kitty cats half as fast as i can. i walk!

How many pounds will you weigh full grown?
that depends ... can i eat lots of tasties?

Are you overweight?
maybe just a smidge but that is only because there are so many good things to eat ... trash cans, pillows, french fries ...

Do you wear clothes?
i eat clothes

Do you have long or short hair?
short

Are you double-coated?
um, during the winters when it is cold sometimes mommy puts a coat over my fur. does that count?

Indoor or outdoor?
if i could move the sofa outside i would never haves to think about that question again!

Do you sleep with your mommy or in your own bed?
with mommy or she would be lonely

Do you chase cats or get along with them?
chase howl KILL

How old are you in people years?
um, probably about 28

Do you get your teeth brushed?
if there is tasty toothpaste on the brush and i can eat the brush

What color is your collar?
red with flames on it

Do you wear a choker on walks?
no i stick with my harness

Have you ever gotten lost?
no, but my mommy tries to go the wrong way every day

Do you like to swim?
what, you mean like take a bath voluntarily? HECK NOES!

Are you fixed?
yeah ... but i am still good with the ladies!

What color are your eyes?
brown

What color is your coat?
brown black and white

What color is the pigment in your skin?
pink with brown spots 'cause i'm cool like that!

Do you get groomed?
pfff, i'm a beagle. beagles don't get groomed!

Are you potty trained?
but of course; it is important to be a gentlemans.

How much do you bark?
never ever ever, unless there is a squirrel or mommy is howling

What are your thoughts on the vet?
please do not put that thermometer in my heinie again. ... i will take another treat, though!

Have you ever bitten a human?
i nip when i play, but i have never broken skin

Do you like the bath or hate it?
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH OH GOD YOU SAID THE B- WORD!!!

Are you friendly with other dogs?
as long as they don't try to hump me. i do not likes to be molested

Does your mommy have a carrying bag for you?
you see, here we have that essential problem with the cat-chasing, again. if i were in a bag, would i be able to catch a cat? no, i do not think so. so would mommy ever convince me to sit in a bag? BWAHAHA, NEVAR!

Can you do any doggy sports?
i can perform the 30-second kibble scarf and the marathon sniff

How cute are you from 1 to 10?
five billion four hundred and twenty two