The Whole World is my Pinata!

Here in Chicagoland we have these things called "17 Year Cicadas".
Mommy is getting *very* freaked out about them since she's not a big fan of bugs to begin with and didn't live here 17 years ago so she has no idea what they are like. Apparently they have red eyes and shed their carcasses as part of the mating cycle. Sidewalks get crunchy with all of the discarded shells. The noisy box with pictures on it talks about them all the time now - every day is a new cicada horror story. Swarms of cicadas ruining outdoor weddings, etc.
My Auntie Pam -- also not a friend of nature -- is considering living in a giant plastic hamster ball untill it is all over.
I on the other hand, am QUITE excited about these cicadas. Mommy read an article about dog safety in which these cicadas are like "flying candy" to dogs, and they are fairly safe unless you eat a whole lot of them and then you just get a bellyache. I'll have to update you guys when they finally arrive - which should be just in time for dog camp next week!

I hope the superbowl has some hot dogs or cheese in it

I live in Chicago and I've been hearing a lot of talk recently about something called a "superbowl" with "the bears". I keep looking and looking for a big giant bowl on my walks outside but I have yet to see it. A SUPERbowl must have some really good things to eat in it. Like bacon. And Velveeta. And whatever bears eat (honey? picnic baskets? park rangers?). I can't wait for the superbowl, it sounds delicious. And if it is big enough for a bear I think it is big enough for me. Ooooooh. I almost forgot to tell you. I have a new dog bed. Mom calls it a sofa for people but I know it is really for me. The man at the furniture store told her and David that they were putting a stain guard on the sofa that repelled dogs. Well I can tell you that it's a bunch of hooey! It is my new favorite place to shed. I'll keep you guys in the loop about this whole superbowl thing, fellow Dogsters.

I'm a Halloweiner!

Yesterday was sooo much fun. Boy am I pooped though. Good thing I'm in my crate while Mommy works and Lara From Upstairs Who Sometimes Gives Me Treats lets in the cable guy.
First I got to drive in the car and then it seemed like everyone was paying attention to ME, ME, ME! Granted I was dressed pretty funny. I was dressed as a witch. My costume was green and black striped tights (cut with a generous hole to allow movement and uh allow me to do my "business"), a black tulle skirt and a little witch's hat with green and black braids. Unfortunately, Mommy has NO pictures so I can't show you exactly how cute I was. I was surprisingly good about the hat. I did not try to eat it or anything.
We met my friends Ursula and Susie. They are very small, but I like them a lot. Ursula is a terrier mix and Susie is a Yorkie. Ursula was a cute green bug and Susie was a ladybug. Poor Susie could not really see out of her costume when she had the hood on. Their mommy Alicia takes them everywhere, I’m very jealous. We stood around for a while and then there was a hot dog dunking contest. I think I really have this one down now -- I've seen it a few times before at dog camp and at the Recycled Rotts picnic. I gobbled up those hot dogs really fast! I did not win a prize at that but I did get to eat the hot dogs so it was a victory anyways.
There were some really good costumes including a beagle dressed as Dumbo, a little black pug dressed as a devil and a great dane dressed as a horse with stirrups. His human baby brother was dressed as a cowboy.
Then we strutted our stuff. And at the end of things I had won 2nd place! First place *was* pretty hilarious – a French Maid costume. We posed for pictures and maybe I’ll even be on a few websites. My prize was a new leash and collar from Barker & Meowsky. It is very beautiful.
Then we got back in the car and drove to Auntie Pam’s house. Little did I know there were OTHER DOGS who lived with Auntie Pam. One fawn pug and one black pug, Bennie and Rugby. Plus some guy Ed also lives there who is very tall. But Ed was a Bears game so it was just me and these little pugs who were very grabby with Mommy’s attention. At least Auntie Pam paid me some attention but Mommy kept on picking them up and kissing them and cooing to them and letting them sit in her lap. Especially that little black one, Rubgy. Doesn’t every body know that is MY lap? I finally had to bark bark bark to let everyone know I was still around.
It was exhausting. As Auntie Pam says, “It’s A Hard Lindy Life”. On that note, back to my nap…

I am from France

Dear Readers,
I have been turned into a conehead!
This shocking development occurred last night after Mommy got home. My paw got some ow-ies on it during the day and got all swelled up. It hurt me to walk on it. So we went in the car to this place called the Emergency Vet. They were very nice to me there, except they poked me in my butt to take my temperature, which was elevated. Then they took me to a different room with other sick animals. At one point I was on the floor being petted by three nice ladies while the vet worked on me. Then they brought Mommy back in and showed her the blisters at the bottom of my foot. The vet said that maybe I have been bitten by insects or stepped on the wrong kind of plant. There was a lot of goo in my foot that squirted out on the floor. That was exciting! Then they put a pretty neon pink bandage on my foot and that's when it happened.
The cone.
I blame Mommy. She told them to do it. She told them that I could not be trusted to leave it alone today when she went to work. She tried to make up for it later but buying me two McDonald's cheeseburgers. But I am not pleased. EVERYbody knows that Rottweilers are from Germany, not France! Will my hair turn curly like Remy the Poodle's? Will I start smoking? Will I find Jerry Lewis funny? Only time will tell.
At least I got some cheeseburgers out of it last night and then this morning I got some string cheese. Some of it tasted a little funny like there were pills in it but cheese is cheese.

My New 'Hood

Well, about two months ago my Mommy started putting all of my stuff in boxes and then one day I went to day care and when I got back we had moved to a new house! Luckily my Mommy had remembered to pack my cedar "poof" so I can still sleep in aromatic luxury. This new place is called a condo and I am very excited because we now live in a neighborhood with many more squirrels. I even saw a funny brown creature the other day with big ears which hopped around on the grass. I can smell water a few blocks away but I'm not allowed to go near it. I tend to lose my mind around water and scare Mommy.
I love my new neighborhood! My Auntie Pam still comes to visit me and give me massages on Tuesdays so I don't think we moved *too* far away. It does make me a little sad though because I no longer have the same neighbordogs that I had at my old house. I miss them. But even though I don't have a yard and neighbordogs like in the old place, my new place is bigger and there are nice people who live there.
Like my new upstairs neighbor Lara and her husband Dean. At first I did not think that Lara would like me but I won her over. She has birdies in her house. I really, really want to visit her birdies and give them a kiss, but Lara says one is mean and might bite me. I have had bad experiences with kitties like this. I just try to kiss them and they take it the wrong way. Why oh why am I so misunderstood? I can’t help being big.
There are more children in this neighborhood too which is a good thing because most children like me and aren’t very afraid. Their parents are more afraid than they are. And of course I am very gentle with them. I have even tried to kiss some homeless people in the park but Mommy does not like that too much. She says it might be scary to wake up to my dogbreath in their faces and she does not want to scare them. We go for much longer walks in this new place which I like a lot too – lots of opportunities to met new doggies and children.
Ta-ta for now fellow Dogsters!

I've been Furminated!!

Guys, guys, guys awwooooo! awoooooo! I'm just so excited my big rottie tail is swinging away (look out!) My Mommy found THE BEST grooming tool. Now, I'm normally more of a "Sporty Spice" than a "Posh Spice" kinda gal but I have to tell you about my Furminator experience. I have a reputation around the house for being the source of some tumbleweeds and my Mommy heard about the Furminator from some Camp Dogwood friends and decided to try it out.
Yes, it is expensive as heck, but it really, really works! And even on a plus-sized gal like me you can buy the small Furminator tool (the cheapest) and it will still work. Actually it's better for areas like legs to have the smaller one...
Now it did almost give Mommy a heart attack to pay $35 for what looks like a metal brush, but after one use she's really impressed. You would not belive the volume of fur that comes out. And it does not hurt at all, because sometimes I'm a chicken when it comes to primping and I just stood there like a good girl.
Well, I'm off to rest in the air conditioning -- not even 9 AM here in Chicago and it is hot as heck.