Dogster

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In loving memory of Thor

Thor... was big. He was huge actually. In his good days his weight was 120-130 lbs. He ate a lot. He took a lot of space. But all that space was filled with nothing but 120 lbs of pure love. Now.. I have all that quantity of love missing from my life. I know I have Maya left, and all her unconditional love. I might one day find another big dog, another big sweet teddybear, another 120 lbs of pure love essence. But no matter what other dog, it will never be THIS 120 lbs of pure love. This one has gone and took with him something that was making me better, that was making me strong, that was making me rush home from work, to find what no human being can express in words, his eyes, his big black shiny eyes, looking at me, saying:

"Here. This is my soul. This is my life. They are yours. I love you."

If I loved you less
I would have tried to make you stay
Would have closed my eyes to your pain
And ignored it was Your Final Day

Would have told myself theres always tomorrow
Held you in my arms and not let you go
Avoided all the signs you were sending me
Told myself when it was time I would know

But my precious I loved you so much
I did what was best for you not me
Knowing the agony that I would endure
The time had come to set you free

Aware this was the last time I'd hold you
The last time to show you my love
I laid by you feeling your softness
Until the time for you to go above

I tried to hide the pain I felt
To hold back the tears in my eyes
When I saw that you were at peace
I clung to you and began to cry.

My tears could fill a river
They just continue to flow
When does this grieving end?
Does anyone really know?