Merlin's very own diary.

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My wonderful big boy Merlin

January 17th 2012 12:42 am
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Hello Merlin.

It's not too hot today, the kind of day you liked. Yesterday was awful for Bella, Hobo and Spud, it was so hot. You wouldn't have liked it at all.

Remember how you would pick up and stick or a stone then drop it for me to throw, if I didn't pick it up you would bark at me? I would tease you by pretending to pick it up then change my mind. You would bark until I picked it up and threw it for you. You made me laugh so much Merlin. But lately Merlin I can't bend down so easy to pick up anything, my back isn't what it used to be my boy.

Remember how you would sit right in front of the TV if you wanted me to stop watching and make a fuss of you? Remember I use to say "Merlin you have got a big head," you wouldn't move unless I made a fuss of you. How I miss that Merlin, how I miss you being with me all the time.

You were such a beautiful boy Merlin, your proud head and erect ears, I can still see you running down the path from the fence when I called you. I'm almost in tears again my boy, go and play and enjoy yourself my beautiful big boy.

All my love Merlin

You ever loving Daddy

 

My amazing boy Merlin

January 17th 2012 11:43 pm
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Hello my lovely boy.

I have some news my boy, Melissa is having her first baby which due end of May beginning June. Its wonderful news but, I said to her, "My only regret is, Merlin will not be here to help look after the baby." Then I began to cry again. I just can't help it Merlin, I love you so much, and I know you would have helped look after the baby. My being made a Granddad is spoiled by you not being here to enjoy it with me. Do not think for a second that the baby will replace you in my heart and soul and my mind, I will never replace you Merlin, never.

Spud pushed his luck with Bella again yesterday, I heard a YELP as Bella told him off. Spud came running in and came up to me as if to say "Bella told me off!" She will not take any nonsense off of Spud or Hobo for that matter, she told you off a few times too my boy.

Spud does miss playing with you, neither Bella or Hobo are interested, you were the only one who would play with him.

It's time for you to go and play my wonderful boy.

All my love Merlin

Your ever loving Daddy.

 

My wonderful big boy Merlin

January 18th 2012 11:08 pm
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Good morning Merlin my wonderful boy.

It is so hot today my boy, there's no wind whatsoever. I know you wouldn't like it.

Spud keeps trying to get Bella to play with him, he really misses you my boy. When you two use to play fight, I really thought at times it was a serious fight, but you both knew just how far to go and pull back. It really did make me laugh when Spud ran up and pulled your tail, oh Merlin, the look on your face was hilarious. You chased after him but he was too fast for you, he kept out of your way for a little while.

Bella has been naughty, she climbs under the gates which she knows is wrong, then when I catch her and call her back, she can't climb back under again for some reason.

Melissa isn't feeling too well at the moment, I guess the baby is making her unwell. I so wish you were here Merlin, I know you would have looked after the baby. I know if its a boy or girl, but Mum and Mike have said they don't want to know, they only want to know when the baby is born. So I guess I'll keep the secret for know, I'll tell you when it's born. Will you look down on the baby Merlin and give it your blessing? I think you will as you were always so loving.

It's time to go play my lovely boy, go enjoy yourself.

I love you Merlin

Your ever loving Daddy

 

My wonderful big boy Merlin

January 19th 2012 11:25 pm
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Good morning Merlin my boy.

It's not so hot today, it's overcast, the sort of day you liked to run and play.

When I let Bella, Hobo and Spud out this morning, Spud did your trick of getting me to play with him, he barked at me then ran up to me wanting to be made a fuss of. Without a doubt Merlin, he's your son, a chip off the old block.

Bella still barks at everything that moves, even things that don't move. I would have thought she would have worn her bark out by now.

I miss your lovely deep bark Merlin, now that was a proper bark. Spud's bark is still a bit high pitched, maybe his voice will break.

I miss playing with you Merlin, I miss our time's together just you and I, two best friends in each others company. I preferred your company to human company Merlin, humans have a habit of forming opinions, you didn't. You gave me your love, devotion and loyalty without condition and that is wealth to me beyond measure. I promise you Merlin, I will never forget you, or stop loving you. Another Merlin might come into the house my boy, but he or she will never replace you in my heart, soul and mind. He or she will be there in memory of you, the best friend I ever had, my big boy Merlin.

Go play my boy, enjoy yourself.

I love you Merlin

Your ever loving Daddy.

PS, I try and remember to leave you a bone every day.

I love you my big boy.

 

My wonderful big boy Merlin

January 21st 2012 12:50 am
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Hello my wonderful boy.

You know Merlin, I still find it so hard that you are no longer by my side, I miss you so much. You always looked so proud whether you were running, sitting or simply standing, then I'd call you and you would come running to me with your typical happy face as if your are saying "Yes Dad." Inside the house if I couldn't see you, I'd only have to say, "Merlin come here my boy," and you'd come running. I'd give you a cuddle and say, "I love you Merlin, you are my big boy."

Remember how you use to take things off of my table beside my arm chair? I'd have the devils own job getting them off of you. You always made me laugh Merlin, you brought so much joy into my life. I miss that so much, I wish you were here beside me Merlin. I can't help it my boy, but sometimes my eyes fill with tears when I think of you, you were taken from me far too early. I wanted to grow old with you my boy, two old men sitting side by side on the porch.

Go play my wonderful big boy.

I love you Merlin

Your ever loving Daddy

 

My amazing boy Merlin

January 22nd 2012 1:37 am
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Hello my lovely boy.

I was just looking at some of your pictures, when you were a puppy you were so pretty, as mum said, "Merlin looks too pretty to be a boy." Then when you grew you began to look so handsome, you always looked like you were smiling, well you always made me smile my boy.

I miss you jumping on my bed and laying across my legs while I was asleep, you got so cross when I woke up and told you to move over. When you laid beside me, I loved to put my arm around you and cuddle you. I miss that so much Merlin.

Spud is pushing his luck with Bella, he tries to get her to play, she just isn't interested so she snaps at him. She must have connected yesterday because Spud yelped came running into me as if to say "Tell Bella off, she nipped me." Spud is a lovely little boy, but he and I will never had the connection we had Merlin, you and I we were best buddies. You got so upset if I had to tell you off, it looked like you were about to burst into tears. I couldn't help but cuddle you and tell you that I was sorry and that I love you. You took over my heart Merlin, I have never had a connection like this before like I have with you. You will always be my best boy.

Time to go play and enjoy yourself my wonderful Merlin

I love you Merlin.

Your ever loving Daddy.

 

My wonderful big boy Merlin

January 23rd 2012 4:15 am
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Hello my big boy.

I'm a bit late today, we had an electric storm so I had to shut everything down till it passed over. Poor little Spud was sitting under my desk shaking, I called him out and gave him a cuddle, but it really didn't help. Poor little fella was really scared. Anyway the storm has passed and I'm here now.

I bet you have made lots of friends Merlin, you always managed to charm people and doggies, you had an aura about you my boy something so special.

I miss you so much Merlin, your happy face always lifted me when I was down, I owe you a lot, more then anyone knows, including my life.

I find it so hard going for a walk around the property, because I remember the walks we had when you were a puppy running after me with your tail wagging so happily, and then when you were grown you'd drop sticks at my feet for me to throw for you, if I pretended I didn't see the stick you'd bark at me.

Merlin, be sure of one thing, I will love you forever, I will never forget you my boy. You gave me your total loyalty, love and devotion, no one will ever take your place in my heart and soul.

You ever loving Daddy.

 

My wonderful big boy Merlin

January 24th 2012 3:56 am
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Hello my boy. I'm a bit late again today, I thought there another storm coming because Spud came and hid under my desk again. Anyway its gone away.

I bet things are amazing in heaven my boy, lots to eat, lots of crystal clear water to drink and soft grass to run around in. When my time comes Merlin, I hope I go where you are, we can sit together a lot or run and play, I won't have the aches and pains I have now. We can sleep on that soft grass with my arm around you my boy, both of us snoring.

Have you met Lady Girl or dear old Monty yet, I bet Monty isn't as grumpy as he use to be with you when you were a puppy. How I miss those days when you were a puppy, following around after me, running trying to keep up and your little tail wagging so happily. You would sit at my feet looking up at me as if to say, "What shall we do next Daddy?" You were so sweet as a puppy Merlin, so pretty, lots of people use to swoon over you, especially the ladies! You certainly knew how to play up to people my boy. Not only did you steal my heart Merlin, you stole lots of other people's as well.

Time to go play my boy

I love you Merlin

Your ever loving Daddy

 

My amazing boy Merlin

January 25th 2012 12:57 am
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Hello my wonderful boy.

Yesterday and last night was quite cool, well cooler then it usually is. You would have loved running around chasing Spud but never catching him. He is fast on his feet that boy.

Remember the ball you pushed under the TV cabinet just before you left us and I refused to get it out for you. I am so sorry Merlin, I regret not getting it for you my boy. I got it out after you left us and I couldn't help but burst into tears, I am so sorry Merlin, please forgive me my boy. It hurt me to get the ball because my back and my knee's hurt, it's difficult for me to get down which is why I refused to get it. I'm not making excuses Merlin, I just hope you find it in your heart to forgive me. If you were here now Merlin, I wouldn't refuse you anything. I just wish you were here so you and I could go for our little walks around the property on our own as we use to. I really thought we had many years left together my boy, years to grow old together. I wish God hadn't taken you Merlin, I wish God would give you back to me. I love you so much.

Some days are good Merlin, but other days I feel tears welling up in my eyes, like now. I know you want me to be happy, but being happy without you is so hard, I feel so empty without you Merlin, my life has no meaning any more.

I love you Merlin

Your ever loving Daddy

 

My wonderful big boy Merlin

January 25th 2012 11:37 pm
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Hello my boy.

Its quite nice today, the sort of day you loved to run and play, you always made me laugh Merlin with your antics and your funny little ways. You were and always will be so special to me my lovely handsome big boy.

Remember the times when I was sitting on the edge of my bed and call you to lay beside me? You'd jump up lay down and lay your head on my leg. I would stroke your beautiful and proud head and say, "I love you Merlin my big boy." We had a bond so strong, it was unbreakable, we still do my boy, that bond is as strong as ever even though you are no longer by my side.

You were always "MY" boy, I know you loved the rest of the family, but you was "MY" lovely boy. I would give years of my life to give to you so we could be together, walk together, sit together and play together.

It always looked like you were smiling, well most of the time. By the expression on your face I could always tell what you were thinking.

I love you so much Merlin.

Go and run and have fun my boy

Your ever loving Daddy.

 
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