AhhhRoooOoOOoOOOOOooOOoo!

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"Greyhounds For Dummies" book is too advanced for my mom

November 8th 2009 10:10 am
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

Saturday was a big and stressful day. We did lots of stuff and we were all very tired. Especially mom. About 2am early early early Sunday morning, Daytona went out to the family room to grab a stuffie and started playing. It was the hedgehog one with a loud grunter, so I went to investigate. I love my new brother, but he is such a stupidhead sometimes. Then he started to whine and whine and whine. He wanted to play! At 2am! Mom finally had had enough. She got out of bed. She didn’t bother to turn on the light. She just told him to shut up, then took him to his crate for the rest of the night.

Well, she woke up this morning to see that she had made a BIG mistake. She hadn’t grabbed Daytona. She grabbed ME!! And there I was. Asleep, and all locked up tight in Daytona’s crate. With HIS stinky blanket and HIS stinky pillow in HIS stinky boy crate.

Daytona thought it was the funniest thing ever. (He thinks everything is funny.)

We both got extra scritches for being good. Daytona for shutting up when told and me for not complaining loudly when I was unceremoniously stuffed into the wrong crate. We even got browned, ground buffalo meat in our breakfast as a special treat!

Mom is still trying to get the hang of this having two dogs stuff. Now I gotta train mom AND Daytona. I thought I was retired but I still got lotta work to do here.

Love,
Coffee

 

HalloWHAT?

November 2nd 2009 11:21 am
[ Leave A Comment | 2 people already have ]

Daytona did pretty good with his first Halloween, except that he took a bit to figure out the doorbell. The first few times it rang, he ran in the wrong direction.

Training is tough. I have a lot of work ahead of me to get my brother up to speed on these things.

Love,
Coffee

 

He ain't heavy...

October 28th 2009 4:34 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 4 people already have ]

We got lots of snow! Maybe a foot by now and it's still coming down! And Daytona has been peeing on the patio cause he is afraid to venture into the yard. But he finally got up the courage to go two steps into the yard and I celebrated by doing a bunch of tiny zoomies around him. Then I play bowed, and then I kicked snow in his face.

He started whining and ran back to the door to be let inside.

Now when mom asks if he wants to go outside, he goes and crates himself.

My brother is a big wuss.

I’m going to have to work with him some more.

On a better note, he now knows how to “down.”

Love,
Coffee
#1 Big Sister

P.S.
I’ve also given him several nicknames. He is now Daytona Dingleberry Underfoot. For obvious reasons.

 

It's official! I got a brother!

October 18th 2009 8:04 am
[ Leave A Comment | 7 people already have ]

Please visit my brother Daytona's Dogster page. He is very nice and is easy to boss around. He needs pals!

http://www.dogster.com/dogs/1055447

 

Wow!

October 17th 2009 6:12 am
[ Leave A Comment | 3 people already have ]

What a week I'm having! Last weekend I had the funnest slumber par-TAY ever! Then on Friday we picked up my foster brother. His name is Daytona, and I really want to keep him. I might be getting a real greyhound brother!! He would be perfect! Yeah! And today is mom's birthday. And NOW I am a diary pick of the day here at Dogster! Thank you, Dogster!

Maybe I should buy a lottery ticket or something! My life is sooo good!

Love,
Coffee
A Very Happy Girl

 

Greyhound Slumber Party

October 12th 2009 7:43 am
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

This week the funnest thing ever happened! I got to have three of my favorite
buddies over for a slumber party. Mom calls it "dog sitting." She's never done
it before and was super nervous about having all four of us. She worried that
we would gang up on her. But, we were good. … Uuhh… Mostly.

Thursday, October 8
Uncle Julian dropped off my bestest pals Artemis, Apollo and Buster around 1:00
in the afternoon. We immediately made for the back yard where we PLAYED PLAYED
PLAYED! Mom stepped in a few times to referee when we got too rowdy. Apollo
and Buster took the opportunity to mark every tree, bush, shrub, fencepost and
brick available. (Ugh. Boys.) Artemis likes to try to eat the shrubbery, so
mom had to keep a close eye on her. I guess she thinks it is a salad bar or a
buffet or something. I got my head peed on once cause I wanted to sniff where
Buster was peeing before he got done peeing on it. He apologized for his
ungentlemanly behavior, and mom cleaned my forehead and ears off with a warm
wash cloth.

We had a tasty dinner, and mom made sure we gave each other space so there was
no growling. My resource guarding training musta worked pretty good cause I
had perfect manners. (Thank you Aunt Sue Brown!) Artemis and I maintained a
downstay the whole time the boys ate, then we waited patiently for our food.
Okay. Maybe not patiently. We both drooled some. But we waited, and we
eventually got fed. We all did so good, we even got an after dinner treat.

Aunt Kay came over after dinner and we all went for a short walk. The weather
was cold and snowy, but it was so much fun walking with my extended pack. I did
circles and circles and circles and circles before finding just the right place
to poo. The other hounds were very impressed by my thoroughness and attention
to detail.

When we got back, we were all tired from our exploring and adventures. Mom
turned on the fireplace, and we all got to snooze in a warm, cozy bunch while it
snowed outside.

What a greyt day!

Friday, October 9
Most of us slept through the night. Buster got up a few times to check on mom,
and Artemis got up once to kick Apollo off his dog bed. We got up en masse
around 7:00am and ate a hearty breakfast. Aunt Sam came over mid morning and
we all took another pack walk. The weather was nicer than yesterday and the sun
was out so our walk was longer than the one yesterday. There were lots and lots
of things to smell and pee on. We got back and went to the backyard where
Apollo and Buster found several vertical surfaces they had not yet marked. What
an embarrassing oversight!! They seem to have a contest going over who can pee
higher on stuff, so everything gots peed on several times. Artemis managed to
eat a few bits of the shrubbery before mom caught her. Then we all followed mom
around the yard as she picked up poo. It was like we were all floats in a poo
parade.

Friday afternoon we explored. Artemis discovered the laundry room. She
reports that there is nothing much interesting in the laundry room, and all she
got for her trouble was an old lint ball which was a very unsatisfactory snack.
Buster fell in love with my fuzzy, pink purse toy and carried it around for a
few hours. He even napped with it. He is very secure in his masculinity to
carry around a fuzzy, pink purse toy. He also discovered the ice dispenser in
the door of the refrigerator. He was sniffing, sniffing, sniffing… then BLOOP!
It made a big rumbling noise and then he got attacked by a flying ice cube!!!
He tried to back up extra fast, but he was on the bamboo floors and mostly his
butt just slid out from under him. It took him a few seconds to get all four
legs working in the same direction, but he was able to escape the Evil Attack
Refrigerator Monster without any permanent physical or emotional damage.

The last potty of the evening did not go so well. It was cold and freezing rain
outside. All four of us stood at the back door looking outside in dismay. We
had no sooner changed our minds and started to try to turn around when mom
shoved us out the door and slammed it shut behind us! And then the meanie
wouldn't let us back in until we pottied!! I apologized to our guests for my
mom's unacceptable behavior, but luckily they understood. Their parents
apparently force them to potty outside in all kinds of bad weather too. Not
nice. Not nice at all.

Despite the fact that WE were the cold wet ones, MOM decided to indulge in a
bubble bath. Or at least she tried. I learned from experience that getting
too close and falling into the bubble bath with mom is NOT FUN and causes a lot
of shrieking and yelling. But the others apparently hadn't witnessed this weird
human custom, so we all crowded around the tub and watched. Artemis tried to
eat the loofah, the bar of soap, the hot water faucet knob, the entire contents
of the bathroom trash bin and a blue scrunchie. Buster tipped an entire bottle
of (open) bubble bath into the tub. The resulting big splash scared him so bad
that he took off for the far reaches of the house and did not return. Apollo
watched for a bit, but decided it was not so fun after he got a nose full of
bubbles.

Mom said it was the least relaxing bubble bath she ever had. I'm not sure why.
There's just no helping some people.

Saturday, October 10
Up and happy tails at 6:30am! We were extra enthusiastic for breakfast which
had warm ground turkey added in. YUM! A warm breakfast on a cold day hit the
spot.

Mid morning, after our food had digested: BIG BACKYARD ZOOMIE RACE IN THE SNOW!
We had so much fun! We ran in circles and crazy eights all over the yard. Even
lazybones Apollo got into it! We all have different racing styles. I like to
do helicopter whirls while I run, which makes my progress more sideways than
forwards. Artemis runs fast, but sometimes her butt runs faster than her head
and she trips herself. She also hated the snow and spent most of our outside
time standing at the backdoor, whining to be let back in. Apollo runs fast for
a bit, but then gets bored with it. He never managed to complete more than a
few unenthusiastic half circles. Buster is super fast fast! He even managed
to hike his leg up and do a three legged drive by peeing of one of the flower
planters! We were all very impressed at his balance and aim. Except for mom.
She was not impressed. Her shoe almost got whizzed on.

We came inside, got an afternoon treat and napped the cold, snowy day away.

After dinner, Apollo was playing with Mr. Moose stuffie and threw it over the
baby gate and down the basement steps. He stood there looking through the baby
gate down the steps and was so heartbroken that mom went down and got it for
him. After that, he seemed fascinated by the baby gate and the stairs and spent
lots of time gazing down into the mysterious darkened basement.

Saturday for dinner, mom had a grilled cheese. It smelled soooooo good! We all
hung around in the kitchen waiting for her to possibly drop it or leave it
undefended. She took it into the office to eat, and all four of us crowded in
after her. The room was just barely big enough to fit us all, but we managed to
squish in. Then it happened.

ARTEMIS FARTED!

BIG! AND LOUD!

We all looked at her in surprise.

Then everyone, including Artemis, looked at her butt.

Then all of a sudden we couldn't smell the grilled cheese at all. All we could
smell was Artemis stench. It smelled teeeerrrriiibbbllleee!

We quickly decided that the grilled cheese wasn't worth the smell, and abandoned
the office, post-haste. Mom was left with the grilled cheese and no breathable
air. Maybe next time she will learn to share with us, and these disasters
wouldn't happen. Hee hee hee!

Saturday night (since the bubble bath was such a success?) mom decided to paint
her toenails. Bright cherry red was her color of choice. We were all smart
enough to stay away from the stinky nail polish, except for Artemis. She stuck
her nose in the polish. Now mom has a needlenose print on her big toe and
Artemis has a dab of red paint on her schnozz. Curiosity might have killed the
cat, but it sure wasn't helping poor Artemis much either.

Saturday night was even tougher on Artemis. She kept licking her dog bed and
had to be corrected three times by mom. She got tired of getting corrected, and
decided to change beds. She tried to join me in my crate, but I growled at her.
No way! This is my crate and I didn't want company, even from my bestest pal!
Then Artemis went to try to join Buster on his bed. And HE growled at her too!
Then, she went to her brother, Apollo's bed and tried to join him. And HE
growled at her! Apollo! He never growls at anybody! Artemis hung her head and
tucked her tail and went back to her original somewhat soggy dog bed. Mom felt
so sorry for her that she went and sat by Artemis and gave her a belly rub.
Poor Artemis. To get growled at by both cousins and her brother all at the same
time. It's tough being the youngest, and being a Brat.

Sunday the slumber party ended when Uncle Julian came to pick everybody up. We
ran around in the yard and even played too rowdy, we were so excited! I had so
much fun! Mom says that since the house is still standing, and she didn't have
a nervous breakdown, that maybe we can do it again sometime.

I sure hope Santa is paying attention to how good we all were. Artemis and I
need all the extra points we can get!

Love,
Coffee SweetPea Doodlebug Snooter Henderson
Hostess Extraordinaire

 

Hungry Girl

September 30th 2009 6:19 am
[ Leave A Comment | 3 people already have ]

What’s so funny? Why are you laughing?

What do you mean “Did I enjoy my dinner?”

Of course. I always love dinner.

I have food slopped on my forehead?

And in my ears?

Oh.

Well.

Perhaps a bib is in order.

Love,
Coffee

 

WARNING: Evil Doorstop Monster Might be in Your Home Too!

September 2nd 2009 10:15 am
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

I got attacked. Viciously and unprovoked. It happened yesterday when mom and I were visiting my pal Uncle Scott. There is a room at his house that I am not allowed to go in. That is where they keep the lures. (A cat lure and a rabbit lure, I believe.)

Anyways, no one was paying attention to me, and I was able to nudge the Lure Room door open and sneak in behind Uncle Scott. When he spotted me, he ordered me out of the room. I hadn’t even gotten a sniff of anything! I backed up and backed up and backed up and then it happened.

I kicked the Doorstop Monster. It was right there on the wall, hiding behind the door.

BBBBrrRrrRRooOoooiIIInNNNGGg!! BbBbbBbrRRRROooOooiiiiIIinnnnnNnggg!

GACK!

I yelped and raced out of the room at 45 miles per hour! What a terrible noise!

As usual, in crisis situations, mom was useless. She and Uncle Scott just laughed and laughed. They snickered about “the expression on Coffee’s face” and “ran like she was shot out of a cannon” and “funniest thing I’ve ever seen!”

Well. Hearty Har Har.

I had to run for my life. That Doorstop Monster almost got me.
No thanks to you.

Now I think I’ll just sit here on the couch and pant for a bit while I calm down.

Love,
Coffee

 

That Wascally Wabbit!

August 27th 2009 7:49 am
[ Leave A Comment | 4 people already have ]

Today mom and I took a nice long walk and afterward I got to sit in the yard and snack on some Frosty Paws. (Yum!) While I was relaxing with my ice cream, a rabbit hopped into the yard. I spotted him but wasn’t much interested. Ice cream tastes better and requires less energy to catch than a rabbit. Live and let live, I say.

Anyhoo… the suicidal rabbit wasn’t bothered by me either, cause he just hopped closer…. and closer… and closer and CLOSER! Mom was starting to get worried that this was some sort of mutant attack rabbit because it got to within five feet of me!

That’s when I had to put my foot down.

I growled. I lifted up my lips and showed the rabbit my big teeth and I growled long and low and deep in my throat.

MY ICE CREAM! MINE MINE MINE!

I wasn’t interested in chasing the rabbit, but I sure as heck wasn’t going to let him eat my ice cream!

Suicide Rabbit scampered away and I went back to finishing off my treat.

Then I had to do ten minutes of “Nothing in Life is Free” training since technically I am not allowed to actually guard my food. Even from stupid rabbits.

Ten. Whole. Minutes.

Sit
Stay
Down
Come
Circle
Sit
Down
Circle
Stay
Sit

All because of a stupid rabbit who was eyeballing my ice cream.

I hate rabbits.

Love,
Coffee Fudd

 

Is it edible now? How about now? Now? Maybe now? How- about now?

July 29th 2009 7:39 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 2 people already have ]

There is a piece of lint on the floor next to the bedroom door. It is black and fuzzy and every time I walk past it I have to sniff it, and lick it and sometimes eat it. But it is never tasty. I always spit it back out.

Then a few hours later I walk past it again and have to see if maybe it is any tastier this time. Nope. Not tastier. Spit it out again.

Mom could put me out of my misery… but no. She just laughs each and every darn time I try to eat it. I tried to eat it about six times now and it still tastes yucky. But I’ll keep trying.

Maybe it tastes better now. I better go see.

Love,
Coffee

 
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