AhhhRoooOoOOoOOOOOooOOoo!

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Coffee, the Thieving... Snippet??!

September 19th 2007 12:01 pm
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I love Garbage Day! It happen three times each week when all the
neighbors put bags of trash out by the curb for me to explore. On
Garbage Day mom know our morning walk will take twice as long so I
can poke my snooter in every bag we pass.

This morning, I smelling a particularly interesting bag (kitty
litter, pizza crusts, diapers and BBQ wing bones yum!) when I stick
my needle nose through the red cinch tie. Mom look over and there I
am, trying to walk off with a giant white trash bag dangling from my
neck.

She laff and laff and say “Coffee, you crazy! We got enough trash!
You don’t need to steal anyone else’s.”

While she disentangling me from my precious trash bag, a neighbor
walk by, see us, and come right over.

“I heard of dogs like this.” He say while looking at me. “They
called Snippets, and I hear they really great pets.”

Well, mom figure he probably mean “Whippet” but the man so excited
to finally meet a Snippet she didn’t have the heart to correct him.
He giving me a world class ear scritch and telling me how pretty I
am, so I not about to correct him either! I just enjoy the scritch
and try to look as Snippet-like as possible.

All in all, it not a bad start to the day.

Love,
Coffee - Junior Garbage Collector

**** Note from Coffee’s mom – the cinch tie was already tightened
on the bag and was never a strangulation danger to Coffee and her
nosy nose, but I’m lucky it didn’t startle her and make her bolt.
We’ll be avoiding them in the future. :-)

 

New Better Bad Idea

September 6th 2007 5:22 pm
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It a bad idea to chase the windshield wipers. I heard. From a friend. Not like I tried it. Or anything.

Love,
Coffee the good girl
(That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.)

 

Terriblest Awfulest thing EVER

August 31st 2007 11:20 am
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I have a hole. It my favorite hole and it go deep in the ground. I
didn’t dig it, but I love it anyway. It is the perfect hole. I get
to see it when we walk a particular path. I sniff it and stick my
head in it. Sometimes I put my entire shoulders and front legs in
it, and once when it was slippery I even fell in it. I love my
hole. It smell like earth and rabbits and grass and mold and
insects. Mom knows that when we see my hole we gotta stop for at
least 5 minutes so I can explore my beloved hole.

Now some meany person gone and put a tree stump in my hole. I saw
it yesterday and howled a loud, long and mournful
AaaahHhHrrRROooOOOoo!!! I sniff at the stump but it nowhere near as
exciting as my hole. I never dug anything in my life, but I tried
to dig out the intruding stump. It no budge. My poor, poor hole.

Mom felt so sorry for me that she make me a banana and peanut butter
popsicle (yum!) and give me a long tummy rub when we get home.

I feeling better now, but I sure miss my hole.

Love,
Coffee

 

Big, Scary, Ferocious Monster

August 22nd 2007 1:20 pm
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The awful monster is gone! He terrorize me on our walks and was
always barking insulting things about my character, appearance and
ancestry. Mom had to tell him "NO! GET BACK!" and protect me so he
wouldn't hurt me. Even my brave pal Ajax, the 110 pound Rottweiler
scared of the monster, too. We trample each other trying to hide
behind our moms when we see him. I glad the scary monster gone!

Love,
Coffee

( Coffee's mom's translation: the two pound Chihuahua next door moved
out. )

 

Not so ladylike

August 14th 2007 7:55 am
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I been using my new, pretty ceramic and wrought iron dog bowls for 5 days now. Mom say they look very decorative in the kitchen instead of the ugly plastic and stainless steel I was using.

Unfortunately, mom miscalculated how enthusiastic I am about my food.

Sunday I knock my bowls off the stand and make a big CRASH! I snuffle up all the food like a vacuum cleaner, but the 2 quarts of water made a great big mess all over the floor.

Now this morning I knock my bowls off again then kick over the stand for good measure. So fun! I roll the bowls around the floor with my nose and play in the spilled water. It like a water slide in the kitchen! Wheee!

Mom had to clean it all up. While she cleaning, I roll the water bowl over and hide it under the recliner. Then she gotta look for it all over the place. Har Har!

Mom see me licking the upside down bottom of my food bowl and tell me that I so crazy. She probably woulda thought it funny if it all hadn’t happened at 4:45am while we getting ready for work. (Note: 4:45am is mom’s LEAST favorite time to play for some reason. Her sense of humor don’t wake up until after 9:00am.)

Anyway… now I got my ugly plastic stand and stainless steel bowls back and mom gonna donate the pretty ones to the Colorado Greyhound Adoption silent auction at this year's picnic. She say that surely there greyhounds out there that eat more dainty than me. I not sure what a “stevedore” is but apparently I eat like one.

Love,
Coffee

 

My New Name?

August 3rd 2007 11:08 am
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Apparently I got a new name. It is "OhMyGodOhMyGodDropItDropItDropItDropItNOWBADDOG!"

This puzzling name change occurred when I picked up mom's favorite Calvin & Hobbes Collectors Edition hardcover boxed set, book#1.

Sheesh, I was just gonna read it. Calvin did some great naughties. I was gonna get some ideas. (Guess I really don't need the inspiration after all.)

Love,
OhMyGodOhMyGodDropItDropItNOWBADDOG
The greyhound formerly known as Coffee

 

Attack of the vicious dog eating trash can

July 24th 2007 3:35 pm
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No matter how yummy the trash can smells, and no matter how cool it is to discover you can step on the pedal and make the top flip open… if you stick your head in to check it out, the TRASH CAN WILL EAT YOUR HEAD. This will cause you to yelp and your mom to snicker very unsympathetically and say something about curiosity killing the cat, which don’t seem relevant at all. Unless she calling me a cat, which she better not be cause thems fightin' words.

To sum it up: yesterday I got attacked by a vicious dog eating trash can and got insulted by my very own mom.

Mondays is rough.

Love,
Coffee SweetPea Doodlebug Snooter Henderson

 

I've been love tagged!

July 20th 2007 10:50 am
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My naughty pup buddy Hope honored me by Love Taggin me! Woohoo! It's a new Dogster game -- "You Are Loved!"

You pick three Dogsters who you think are fantastic and tell a little about why! Don't forget to let them know how much they are loved with a pawmail, star or a rosette.

I gots so many cool pals, it so tough to choose just three!

1. Lucky, cause she a pretty brindle girl like me who had a rough time on her way to a happy, lazy retirement.

2. Colyn, cause he have a funny diary, and he make his humans laff and laff just like I do mine.

3. Malcolm MacGreygor cause he my best bud. He taught me how to use the computer and introduced me to Dogster.

Love,

Coffee

 

Coffee's Punishment

July 17th 2007 3:35 pm
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I will not stick my head out the car window and sneeze so big that I
blow snot down the side of my mom’s freshly washed car.

I will not stick my head out the car window and sneeze so big that I
blow snot down the side of my mom’s freshly washed car.

I will not stick my head out the car window and sneeze so big that I
blow snot down the side of my mom’s freshly washed car.

(Note: I could have blown my nose on the back of mom’s head while
she driving, but I did not. She is not viewing this incident from
the proper perspective.)

I will not stick my head out the car window and sneeze so big that I
blow snot down the side of my mom’s freshly washed car.

I will not stick my head out the car window and sneeze so big that I
blow snot down the side of my mom’s freshly washed car.

I will not stick my head out the car window and sneeze so big that I
blow snot down the side of my mom’s freshly washed car.

I will not stick my head out the car window and sneeze so big that I
blow snot down the side of my mom’s freshly washed car.

I will not stick my head out the car window…

 

Final Score: Coffee 1. Potential Boyfriend 0.

July 9th 2007 1:17 pm
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This weekend mom brought something home called a "date." His name
Jeff. Apparently the purpose of this "date" is for the people to
talk, eat, watch a movie and completely ignore me.

I not a fan of this "date" business.

I spent the evening chewing on the crotch of my Mailman stuffie.
This made the "date" very nervous, so I proceeded to violently
disembowel my Mailman stuffie on the family room floor. I started
at the crotch and ended with stuffing and squeaker carnage scattered
everywhere.

On his way out I even manage to give the "date" a well aimed head-
butt. He ran out the door at a speed even a greyhound would
admire. (He moved quick for a guy holding his hands in front of
sensitive bits of his anatomy.) Har Har!

I don't think he gonna be back.

Good thing mom got me - we girls gotta stick together!

Love,
Coffee SweetPea Doodlebug Snooter Henderson

 
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