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Coffee's Letter to Santa - Take 3

December 10th 2007 9:25 am
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Dear Santa,

Did you even read my letter last year?


I am still waiting on my pet rabbit.


Etiquette 101

December 5th 2007 4:11 pm
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When your nice neighbor comes over to give an ear
scritch and tells you what a pretty girl you are, apparently the
appropriate response is not to look deeply and lovingly into his eyes
and BURP.

I not sure why.

Human rules is confusing.


You don't think Santa will hold it against me do you? It just a minor
faux pas. Definitely not naughty. Right?


Coffee's letter to Santa - Take 2

December 3rd 2007 4:56 pm
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Dear Santa,




Letter to Santa

December 1st 2007 2:40 pm
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Dear Santa,

Define "good."



Can I have some fries with that art?

November 12th 2007 6:27 pm
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If you gonna open a ketchup packet, you probably should NOT stand on it and rip it open at the same time. Cause then it tear open and ppppffftt! Squirt up your nose. Lucky thing ketchup is tasty! Also good bout ketchup is that you can then make pretty tomatoey greyhound nose and paw art on the windows, walls and floors.

For some reason Mom not too pleased with my redecorating. I think maybe I an artist before my time.

Coffee la Artiste


Greyhound Math

October 29th 2007 7:39 am
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1 Wedge of gourmet Guinness Cheddar Cheese + 1 Tall Greyhound + 1 Short Table = 1 Very Happy Greyhound and 5 Very Sad People


Mystery Treats

October 23rd 2007 6:53 am
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Somebody left me treats. I smelled them, looked up, and there they
were – hanging from the tree. Pine cones filled with peanut butter
and birdseed and boy were they tasty. Thank you for the treats
mystery person, but next time don’t hang them quite so high. I had
to climb the tree to get at them, and mom sure not helping.
(Sometimes she on the other end of the leash like an anchor when I
trying to go someplace fun.)

Anyway… a bunch of birds was under the impression that the treat
was for them, but mom scared them off when she started
shouting “Don’t Eat The Pine Cone! No Coffeeeee!!! Drop It!
Nooooo!!!” Clearly she didn’t want the birds eating my treat
either. Thanks Mom!

Coffee *burp*

Don’t tell Dr. Stacey I ate parts of two pinecones. I supposed to
be on soft food since my teeth pulling operation and probably pine
cones not qualify. Har Har!


A Note to the Humans:

October 22nd 2007 11:44 am
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If your canine best friend has to get a tooth pulled, and gets a double dose of
morphine, and is a little bit dopey as it wears off and has lost
control of her tongue and can’t even feel her face and accidentally
potties on her own foot and falls asleep with her butt half on and
half off of the bed ... Laughing is NOT polite, nor is it appreciated.



sniff sniff sniff HEY!? What the...

October 12th 2007 11:57 am
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My neighbor gots a new orange and black welcome mat that I never
seen before. It smelled kinda funny and had a picture of a black
cat on it.

Definitely worth investigating, so I went over to sniff it. Then
with no warning it attack!


Well, Cindy the Soaring greyhound gots nothing on me. I pretty sure
I jump up so high I coulda hit my head on the ceiling.

I ran over to hide behind mom and softly “burfed” at the offending
welcome mat – I didn’t really want to make it mad so no growling or
rooing. Just a “burf” to let it know I was onto it’s devious plan
and was watching it closely.

As usual when these traumatic things happen, mom just laugh and
laugh and laugh. Clearly mom NOT gonna get nominated for Mom of the
Year Award.



Lessons learned the hard way.

October 9th 2007 5:12 pm
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I learn lots of important stuff that I gotta share with other hounds.

Lesson # 1 – Do not try to climb up on a rolling office chair if it sitting on a hard surface. The resulting high speed sprawl is very undignified.

Lesson # 2 – When mom say “Leave It” as you about to sniff the green paint they using to paint the exterior of the apartment complex… obey immediately. Trying to get in one quick sniff causes you to become COFFEE THE GREEN NOSED GREYHOUND. To add insult to injury, you end up getting a bath.

Lesson # 3 – Don’t circle more than five times while figuring out the perfect place to poop. You’ll forget what you were doing and completely lose focu… hey is that a rabbit?

Lesson # 4 - A doorbell ringing on TV does not need to cause a 40 mile per hour sprint to the front door to happily await a visitor. One is not coming.

These is the things I learned this week.


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