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January 12th 2007 7:29 pm
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I so happy to have my own webpage. I not only a Greyhound, but also Attentionhound and Chowhound. I very talented that way. Mom say I deserve my own webpage and I say RooHoo!

I like Colorado and even learning to like the snow, now that I figured out how to potty in it without getting a cold bottom. I still figuring out how to potty on ice without my gangly legs going all over, though. And how to potty in high winds without spray pottying on mom's shoe. There lots to figure out. I try to play with a snowman, but he no play back. He just stand there in ugly hat. I ignore him next time. He no fun.

I guess that's all for now. Setting up website is tough work. I will run 40 miles per hour to my bed for a power nap.


Don't sniff a branch full of snow if it above your head. I find out that all the snow fall in your ears when branch jiggles. Mom no help, either - she just laugh and laugh.


Counter Surfing

January 17th 2007 6:13 pm
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I tried to grab my leash yesterday from on top of the counter. It slid off and I got bonked on the head with my own collar. Mom laugh and ask me if I think I gonna take myself on a walk. Well of course! Broomfield laws say dogs gotta be on a leash, but it don't say who have to be holding the leash.

Carpe Steakum! "Seize the Steak!"

Coffee SweetPea Snooter Doodlebug Don'tEatThat


My new toy - the maintenance man and the ladder

January 30th 2007 6:00 pm
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I got two great new toys today! One is called a "maintenance man" and the other is called a "ladder." The maintenance man came over and gave me a wonderful ear scritch and told me how pretty I am. When mom went to put me in my crate so I wouldn't get in the way, the maintenance man said no, he didn't mind me sniffing around and watching what he was doing. I laid quietly at the foot of the ladder looking up at him adoringly until mom left the room to get the telephone. As soon as she leave, I scramble up the ladder and poked my needle nose at the maintenance man's bottom. He was so excited to play with me that he fell off. I ran to him on the floor and ROOed at him real loud. I smiled at him, sat on his arm and sniffled in his pocket to see if he had treats. I stepped on his belly and whacked him in the head with my tail. He just laugh and laugh and laugh. He SO FUN! Mom ran in and was really worried. She kept saying she was sorry to the maintenance man. (I don't know why she doing that. We just having fun!) The maintenance man say he still love me and I now his favorite resident. He say he didn't know greyhounds so friendly!

I love the maintenance man and the ladder. I think all greyhounds should get one to play with. Mom must love the maintenance man too, because she gave him a beer when he left.

Apartment Maintenance Assistant Coffee


Weird Noise Investigation

February 8th 2007 6:06 am
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Funny thing that happen today was I was napping on my bed and I heard a strange noise. It came from right behind me so I turn around to investigate. I can't find what made the noise. I stand up and look behind my dog bed. Maybe under the cushion? Still no noise making thing. I look at mom and she LAUGHING. She say "Coffee, you farted! That noise was YOU!" She laughing so hard tears coming out of her eyes.

Humans. Ugh. She no help, so I continue my investigation.

Whatever made the strange noise also made a stink so bad I had to leave the room. I scowl at mom as I leave cause she should do something about that terrible smell.

Mom laugh even harder and tell me she can't believe I leaving her there to asphyxiate alone.

It has been a confusing day with the mystery farting thing.



I hate my pink feather boa.

April 2nd 2007 4:00 pm
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It itches. It makes me sneeze. It is the color of Pepto Bismol. It makes me look like Ethel Merman.

My cousins, Aiko and Rosco, are laughing at me. THEY don't gotta wear feather boas. It won't come off even when I scratch at it or when I scrape it along the wall.

As soon as mom's back is turned I am going to shred the loathsome pink monstrosity. How could she do this to me!?

Coffee the Grumpy and Sulking


Naughty, naughty Coffee!

April 27th 2007 8:57 am
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I am getting so good at being naughty! Now I naughty at the dog park. I love going to the dog park! I got to run around really fast and play with the other dogs. I met a handsome Bernese Mountain dog named Bernie, and his human, Pam. She was throwing the ball. Bernie would chase the ball and I would chase Bernie. I always catch him and nibble his bottom. It so fun! Pam think we funny and give us Milk Bones. Yum! One time, Bernie's mom leaned down to pick up the ball and I stuck my needle nose in her pocket to help myself to the Milk Bones. Then she stand up. Unfortunately, her pants not
stand up with her. She there in the middle of the dog park with her pants at her ankles and my needle nose caught in the pocket. Har Har
Har! Lucky for me she laugh and push my snout away so she could pull up her pants.

My mom very embarrassed. She apologize to Pam over and over and over. I don't see why mom so embarrassed. Pam was wearing very pretty flowery underpants and all.


Mom say that if I ever pull down her pants in public she gonna trade me in for a cat! She kidding, right?



May 8th 2007 1:25 pm
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I discover a scary new thing that all dogs should avoid! They
called DANDEEEELIONS. I see one Sunday when we taking a walk. It
waving in the breeze and look like it maybe a tiny rabbit. I gotta
go investigate! I get real close, and give it a big SNIFF.


White fuzzies go all up my nose. I sneeze and sneeze and sneeze and
hack and gasp and cough and snort and wheeze. It so terrible!

So I warn all dogs - avoid the dandeeeeelions. Now I walk
around them very carefully and keep an eye on them in case they
attack again. Dandeeelions is very ferocious!



Never Ever Ever...

May 23rd 2007 5:35 pm
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... Try to poop on the side of a hill when it raining. The grass get
slippery, you slide down the embankment on your face, get a nose full
of mud, and drag your pretty yellow raincoat through your own poop.

I’ve had a Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Rainy Day.

Poor Coffee


What I learned today:

June 20th 2007 5:07 pm
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No matter how good you are all day long, if you eat something vaguely
inedible and barf it up on the family room carpet, your mom does NOT
want a kiss from you immediately afterward. In fact, she
screech “EWWWW! GROSS!” and rudely push you away.

I found the whole incident rather insulting, really.



Final Score: Coffee 1. Potential Boyfriend 0.

July 9th 2007 1:17 pm
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This weekend mom brought something home called a "date." His name
Jeff. Apparently the purpose of this "date" is for the people to
talk, eat, watch a movie and completely ignore me.

I not a fan of this "date" business.

I spent the evening chewing on the crotch of my Mailman stuffie.
This made the "date" very nervous, so I proceeded to violently
disembowel my Mailman stuffie on the family room floor. I started
at the crotch and ended with stuffing and squeaker carnage scattered

On his way out I even manage to give the "date" a well aimed head-
butt. He ran out the door at a speed even a greyhound would
admire. (He moved quick for a guy holding his hands in front of
sensitive bits of his anatomy.) Har Har!

I don't think he gonna be back.

Good thing mom got me - we girls gotta stick together!

Coffee SweetPea Doodlebug Snooter Henderson

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