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Adventures in the Petco bathroom Vol III

April 28th 2012 5:46 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 2 people already have ]

Today was our monthly Colorado Greyhound Adoption Meet and Greet. We had a lot of errands to run first so despite mom’s best efforts to not have to use the bathroom, she definitely had to go once we got there. (I refer you to Adventures in the Petco Bathroom Vol 1 and Adventures in the Petco Bathroom Vol 2 for why she tries to avoid taking us into the bathroom.)

We got into the bathroom, which was luckily not occupied. We went into the big stall on the end.

Daytona bolted in first, and spotted something he had never noticed before.

A big, white bowl. Mama called it a “toilet.”

We are not allowed in the bathrooms at home, so this was an EXCITING NEW THING!

He peeked in the bowl and it had WATER! This was very convenient since we had been snarfing down treats for the last two hours and were very thirsty. And best of all, it had white tissue paper floating in there.

What FUN!

Daytona was about to lunge for the intriguing wet paper when mom caught him and (rudely) yanked him away.

Mama was totally disgusted and grossed out.

Then she pulled a lever and the coolest thing EVER happened!

The water SWIRLED! And the paper went around and around and around just daring us to catch it!

At this point we were both staring in rapt fascination into the magic swirling water bowl.

Sadly, mama didn’t let us even let us get close to the water. Something about “toxins” and “disgusting” and “germs.”

We had to get our water from a plain old stainless steel water bowl.

We are still very interested in this “toilet” and plan to investigate extensively.

After a nap.

Because it is tough to be loved, adored, petted and given treats for two whole hours and we are very tired.


A note from Coffee & Daytona's mama: Mid way through this disaster, someone came into the restroom. Apparently they heard me having a conversation in the stall and they promptly left. I can only assume that once again my dogs made me look like a complete crazyperson.


Adventures in Walking Part XVIII

April 10th 2012 4:13 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

Our mama has never been that handy at coordinating our two leashes. Daytona and I enjoy twisting them up just for fun to watch her try to work out the tangles.

And yesterday presented us with an opportunity to take our leash chaos to a whole new level!

Daytona and I had both done our business, and mom was holding a bright blue poop bag filled to the brim with the results.

Then mama’s nose itched.

We stopped walking as she carefully transferred the poop bag to the hand holding our leashes and gingerly reached up to scratch her nose.

That’s when we tag teamed her!

Daytona scurried off to mark a tree on the right side of the sidewalk and I took off to sniff a blade of grass growing in the concrete on the left side of the sidewalk. Leashes pulling everywhere!

Our leashes twisted a perfect loop around the poop bag, and we pulled in opposite directions and VOLCANO!!!!

LAVA-POO erupted all over mama’s fingers and hands and dripped down the length of the leash and onto the sidewalk.

We were so proud!

Mama about fainted in disgust as she attempted to clean up the mess with additional poop bags. (Unsuccessfully, I might add. Heeheehee!)

We walked a very speedy and very stinky beeline back home where mama cleaned her clothes, cleaned her hands and took a shower just for good measure.

I don’t think she has recovered yet.

We might never get another walk again ever, but it was worth it!

Coffee & Daytona


Brother for sale. CHEAP!

February 23rd 2012 4:45 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 7 people already have ]

Last night, Daytona stuck his nose in our mama's chili and SNEEZED.

Chili went everywhere, and we weren't even allowed a single slurp. Something about it had lots of onions in it, whatever those are. Mama threw all the delicious smelling chili in the trash can with the greyhound-proof lid.

I'm mad at Daytona for sneezing. I'm mad at mama for not giving me any chili. I'm mad at the trash can for being needlenose proof. I'm mad that I almost got blown away by the wind last night. I'm mad that I had to do my business in a blizzard this morning.

It is so very difficult to be a diva these days.

Disgusted Diva Coffee


Innocent... Or Not...

January 12th 2012 6:16 am
[ Leave A Comment | 8 people already have ]

I cannot fathom what on earth has become of your sandwich.

But rest assured that it was delicious.




Automated Phone Menus + Barking = FUNNY

December 9th 2011 9:08 am
[ Leave A Comment | 3 people already have ]

Yesterday mom needed to call her health insurance. She had to listen to a menu and push buttons to select what she needed.

Well, I was having none of that. I wanted attention!

I put my head on her knee and she had the gall to push it away!

Surely that must have been a mistake. I always get scritches when I put my head on mama’s knee.

So I put my head on her knee again.


I was appalled.

Now, I am a pretty quiet girl and rarely have to resort to barking but this was an emergency.


Apparently the automated system mom had been talking to picked up my bark because mom was very surprised to hear it confirm her birthday as 10-17-1902.


Mama is very old, but not 109 years old.

She had to back all the way out of the phone tree and re enter all the information.

It only serves her right.

Too back I couldn’t automatically bark her a proctologist appointment.

Her priorities are out of whack. Greyhound ear scritches should always take top priority!




November 3rd 2011 3:29 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 3 people already have ]

Today I got a coupon that said “Coffee Henderson, here is a 15% off coupon on pet supplies for your dog, Susan!”

It was a 15% off coupon to one of our favorite pet stores.

I was so happy to get mail!

Mom assumes that when she filled out the form for us to get on the mailing list that she mixed up whose name goes in which box.

I doubt it.

Anyone can see that I am the one in charge!

Plus, Daytona got a coupon too and his was addressed to mom and identified her as the human and Daytona as the dog. As it should be.

I am clearly the special one that deserves the coupon.

So... I am pleased to announce that I am going to get a discount on mom’s next flea dip, nail trim and anal gland cleaning.

We’ll see how she likes it!



Communication Problems

October 4th 2011 1:01 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 3 people already have ]


Do not chase geese.

Do not helicopter tail if there are small children with ice cream cones standing directly behind you.

Do not poop on someone’s carefully manicured and pruned rose bush.

Do not whine if mom leaves the car and only goes 10 feet away.

Do not snuggle so aggressively that you push your snuggl-ee off the couch.

Do not eat your sibling’s food.

Do not destroy your stuffie.

Do not wake mom up at 4:13am hoping to get an early breakfast.

Do not chase the neighborcat.

Do not eat people food.

Do not try to roughhouse-play with terrified little dogs.

Do not potty on the displays at a Meet and Greet.



Geese are fun to chase! All that flapping! All those feathers!!! And best of all.. goose poo!!!

Kids are great! Wag your tail enthusiastically! If you get ice cream on your tail… lick your tail!! If the kid gets ice cream on her face…lick her face!

If you poop on a rose bush, mom will have to deal with a bunch of thorns while trying to scooper it without puncturing the poop bag.

She will fail. She will get a handful of poo. It will be funny!!

If mom leaves you in the car and steps an entire 10 feet away, the appropriate response is to WHINE loudly and let the whole neighborhood know that you are being cruelly abandoned by your mama and are dyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyying! She will tell you to shut up a couple of times, but she will eventually give up and come back. Remember: Whining Works.

Snuggling is a full contact sport, and if mom can’t handle it, then she belongs on the floor where we pushed her. (Just follow her onto the floor and snuggle here there too.)

Your sibling’s food is much, much, much better than your own.

If you destroy your stuffie, you get a brand new one then you can destroy that one too!

If you whine loud and long and sound extra pitiful at mom at 4:13am, and she gives up on going back to sleep, she will get her butt out of bed and get you breakfast early! Remember: Whining Works at all hours.

Next time you chase the neighborcat, run faster! We almost got him!! (Mom was doing a lot of yelling. I assume she was cheering us on?)

People food is delicious and if left unattended, it officially becomes greyhound food. That’s the rule.

Little dogs aren’t really terrified. That is part of the game. Also, they like getting stepped on.

If you wait until mom is distracted talking to someone, you can potty on a display at a Meet and Greet. Every other dog has pottied on it, so you should be able to also. You just have to do it fast before mom realizes what you’re up to.

Coffee & Daytona


Adventures in the Petco Bathroom Vol II

July 24th 2011 11:42 am
[ Leave A Comment | 6 people already have ]

You probably remember what happened the last time we went into the Petco bathroom with mom, right? Mama peed on the big white bowl, and in a display of pack unity I was inspired and pottied on the floor and Daytona marked the wall? We thought it was great. Mama... not so much.

Since then, mom has always done her business before we leave the house so we don’t have to go in the Petco bathroom again.

But this time she made a mistake.

She went by Starbucks and had a giant glass of sweetened green tea. She sipped on it while we did our duty as greyhound adoption Ambassadogs at our monthly Meet and Greet. By the end of the two hours, she had to potty. Bad. And she couldn’t wait to get home.

She knew she would have to brave the Petco bathroom.


She packed up our supplies and took us on a walk to try to empty our bladders. She hoped for the best and then headed into the store. Everything was going great. Mom was again sitting on the mysterious big white bowl, and Daytona and I were standing quietly with our leashes looped over the purse hook.

Then… the door bathroom door opened and somebody else came in.

Who is that??

We were so interested, but we couldn’t see anything!

Someone went into the next stall!!

We saw feet.

Then a purse.

Then jeans on the ground.

Then underpants.

What's going on over there????

We had to see!!

So before mom realized what we were up to and before she could stop us…

We stuck our needlenoses under the divider to take a peek.

There was a lady sitting on another big white bowl.

And just as we were about to politely introduce ourselves, she let out a SHREEeEEeeEEEeeEEeeeEaAAAAK!!!!

And she pushed our faces away.

Well, that wasn’t the welcome we were expecting.

We both backed up so fast Daytona banged his head on the underside of the divider. Mom was horrified and loudly apologizing. (I’m not sure why. We were the aggrieved parties.)

Mom finished her business and we left the stall. While mom was washing her hands, the lady in the next stall came out and mom apologized again.

They lady was a bit shaken, and said that she wasn’t really a “dog person” and was just surprised to see us peering at her from under the divider.

She said she was more of a “cat person.”

Clearly we needed to fix whatever sort of brain damage causes people to like cats, so we turned on the charm.

We gently leaned on her and let her pet our ears. She commented how pretty we are, and how sweet. She even followed us out of the bathroom and into the store, continuing to ask about greyhounds.

She was so interested, that she took some greyhound info and a business card.

Then she leaned over and gave me a smooch, right on my forehead. She said that it was the first time she had ever found a dog she wanted to kiss. I returned the favor and smooched her right back and she laughed.

The moral of the story is:
Never doubt a seasoned Ambassadog. I have been working events for over five years now, convincing people to adopt greyhounds. Even if your small, ineffective human brain doesn’t understand my strategy… never doubt that I have one.

I bet that nice lady has a greyhound by this time next year and she will have been completely cured of her cat sickness.

Official Colorado Greyhound Adoption Ambassadog since May 2006


You have the right to remain silent

June 26th 2011 3:58 pm
[ Leave A Comment | 5 people already have ]

We were in the car and I had my head sticking out the window.

It wasn’t my fault that a bug flew up my nose.

It wasn’t my fault that I had to wheeze and sneeze and snort to get it out of my nose.

It wasn’t my fault that I hocked a big yellow-green loogie on the car next to us.

It wasn’t my fault that it happened to be a Colorado State Trooper.

It isn’t my fault that he had to use his washer fluid and wipers to undo the damage.

But it WAS my fault that he laughed and thought it was funny and didn't arrest us.

Because I gave him a tail wag and my prettiest smile.

It had nothing to do with mom’s freaked out apologetic gestures she was making frantically from the drivers seat.




June 12th 2011 6:20 am
[ Leave A Comment | 4 people already have ]

I got you present!
It was in the backyard and dead and stinky!
You'll love it!
But then I forgot and ate it.
Then I un-ate it.
All over the floor and your shoe.

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