I'm Just Saying...

GILBERT SAID...
Not to point the paw at anyone, but, all three of the squirrels in our toy tree stump have been injured or eviscerated over the past few months.

BUSTER SAID...
Hey, batting found in my backyard poo does not make me guilty or a squirrel killer. I ingest a wide array of things throughout the day. I'm just saying...

GILBERT SAID...
Rumor has it mom found replacement squirrels online this morning at Care-A-Lot Pets. I'm sure they are all for me as I'm the Good Boy.

BUSTER SAID...
Good Boy, Schmood Boy. It's more fun being the naughty boy. Did you hear the one about the dog who went into the bar...

A guy walks into a bar with a dog. He claims the dog can talk. "Give me a beer and I'll show you." The bartender slides a beer to him and the man asks the dog, "Fido, what is that above our heads?" The dog says, "Roof!" The irritated bartender says, "That's not talking, he sounds like any other dog." The man says, "OK, how about this - Fido, who was the best baseball player of all time?" The dog says, "Ruth!" The bartender throws the man and the dog out of the bar. Fido says to the man, "Ya think I shouldda said DiMaggio?"

If the paw don't fit, you must acquit

Gilbert said:
Some pups never learn. Buster is busted once again. Sticking his nose "literally" where it doesn't belong.
Some of you may remember a month back that Buster decided to eat the dry wall at the top of the stairs. (picture above ) Yes, he ate it. Not a single piece was found on the floor.
Dad finally got around to patching it. When our parents went upstairs last night to go to bed they found a nose and pawprint in the middle of the drywall paste. I'm innocent. If the paw don't fit, you must acquit. That's all I have to say.
I wonder if there's a "Three stikes and you're out" rule in this house. (evil thought)

Buster said:
Does anybody know the number for Rod Blagojevich's lawyer?

Poor Frank

At 7:30 this evening authorities were called to the home of Mr. Buster Brown and Mr. Gilbert Michael investigating a domestic violence claim. The victim, Mr. Frank-n-Stein, asserts he was battered for no apparent reason and lost his nose.
One of the two homeowners is a "pup of interest". Authorities say this will be a difficult case to solve as the evidence appears to have been eaten!

He Said,He Said

GILBERT SAID...
Last night I decided enough was enough I'm putting my paw down! This new fur ball everyone refers to as my "little brother" had pushed me far enough. I jumped off the couch and took back one of my toys. Mom and dad couldn't believe it. I actually stood up for myself. There's a new sheriff in town. I stood my ground. No more hiding on the couch. I pushed Buster back with my head every time he tried to bite my ears and legs. I even ran after him twice. Mom and dad say this is progress. No more being bossed around by a 5-pound puppy. This is my house and its time he shows me a little respect.

BUSTER SAID...
Well, I finally got the fat guy off the sofa; God knows he could use the exercise. At one point I thought I killed him, he jumped back up on the sofa and was panting so hard I was afraid he was having a heart attack!

Buster Brown

Something is terribly wrong in this house! I think we may have rodents. Mom and dad set a trap for it the other day. They put my old crate in the trap and set out a food and water dish. Today I spotted the little furry thing. To my surprise mom and dad are playing with this fur ball and gave it a name too. His name is Buster Brown but they call him Buster. He is only two pounds but boy is he fast. He hops like a rabbit and has razor sharp teeth. Whenever he sees me he lunges at my floppy ears and tries to eat them! I even felt him bite my tail. I've been snarling at him and he sits and pretends to listen but he must have a short memory. He keeps coming back for more.

Fortunately he does take frequent naps. Does anybody know a good exterminator? Paw mail me as soon as possible. This is an emergency!
Woof,
Gilbert

My Grandma is 70 !!!!!!!!

Traits of a Wonderful Grandmother
by
Gilbert Michael


She loves all grandchildren no matter how many legs the have.

She keeps special treats (ice cream cones) in case I drop by.

She stays with me while the family is out of town.

She has card parties at my house while my family is away, so I won’t
get lonely.

She leaves room in the recliner so I can sit next to her.

She talks to me when everyone else is too busy.

She lets me lick her calf because her lips are too high to reach.

She tells me that I am her favorite grandchild when no one else is
around (or is that a secret?).

She keeps my photos on her refrigerator.

She sneaks food under the table when my parents aren't watching.


My Grandmother is the Best!

Intruders!

While on routine window patrol this morning I spotted two odd looking fellows in my backyard. I sounded off at the top of my two ounce lungs to alert my humans. Mom opened the backdoor and I ran ahead to protect her. It was intruders from the pond! Those long neck geese have extremely small brains and often cross the street and climb the hill onto my property. Once they saw Officer Gil coming they cowardly flew off. I know they will return so I made sure to mark MY territory. Mom says I'm her hero.

What's a Groundhog?

J came home late last night. She was talking in her happy voice to M and carrying a small box with holes in it. She pulled a brown furry thing out and carried it around like she usually holds me. I followed her around like I always do making sure my fur was touching her leg at all times but she never even looked down. She told M she got Punxsutawney Phil for her classroom and he is a special limited edition from Build a Bear. Special? He didn't look very special to me. J finally knelt down and instead of giving me a hug she pushed that brown furry thing at me and told me to meet Mr. Groundhog. Well, you know me, I had to check this thing out. Its fur was definitely not as soft as mine and its smell wasn't very interesting. It was stiff and inert. What kind of an animal is a groundhog anyway? J finally put it back in the box and picked me up. Life is good again.

Brrrrrrrrrrrr

Walks: 0
Naps: 18
Treats: 9
Girlfriends: 6

It finally feels like winter outside. I wear this furry white coat year around and look forward to cool weather. I woke M & J up around 1am and again around 3am to go outside. I heard J say that with the windchill the temp was below zero. That BIG rabbit keeps taunting me out the front window and it leaves little round presents for me on the sidewalk and driveway. I know that rabbit is up to no good and it's my job to protect M & J's house and yard. (They call me Officer Gil) Whenever that rabbit gets too close to the house I run to the door and sound off at the top of my two-ounce lungs. M got pretty grouchy the second time so I decided I better not ring the bell again until the sun came up.

After M & J were back asleep I went to the kitchen to check the floor for crumbs. If I had to be stuck in one room for the rest of my life it would definitely be the kitchen! There are so many interesting smells and delicious crumbs on the floor. I usually avoid the dry dog food in my dish until at least 10pm when my family is finished snacking. I know it's not REAL food in my dish because I never see M or J eating it. I try to save my appetite during the day for anything J offers or drops on the floor. She can't resist my beautiful brown eyes.

Bad News/Good News

Walks: 0
Treats: 4
Naps: 4
Girlfriends: Holding at 6
The week started off badly. Everybody left me to go back to work or school! I always put up a big fit and bark as loud as I can and run back and forth from my food dish to the front door. I like to act like I'm choking on food to really catch everyone's attention. It's a good way to stall the inevitable and make J feel guilty for leaving. The truth is, I'd rather be home to keep up with my 22. (That's my 22 hours of sleep a day) One time my mommy actually did take me to work. I was so happy in the car on the way there.
She had a big room full of tables and chairs and toys. I was sure I would find some food under all of those tables. All I found were little tiny legs and lots of little kindergarten hands grabbing for me all day long. My mommy even put me in my crate so I could rest, but, the little fingers kept poking at me through the holes. I gave out so many kisses that day and wagged my tail so much that I collapsed on the way home and didn't wake up until the next day! I've watched the Tv show "Dogs With Jobs" with my humans and I've decided that I'm an at home dog.
The good news is that M has started taking nightly "shuffles" (w-a-l-k-s) with me again. There are so many good stories to smell in my neighborhood and I'm pretty sure that I smelled some new dogs on the block.
ttfn
Gilbert