What I might say to you....Poem sent from Bella

To my dearest family,
some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know,
that I arrived okay.
I'm writing this from the Bridge.
Here I dwell with God above.
Here there's no more tears of sadness.
Here is just eternal love.
Please do not be unhappy
just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you
every morning, noon and night.
That day I had to leave you
when my life on earth was through,
God picked me up and hugged me
and He said, "I welcome you.
It's good to have you back again,
you were missed while you were gone.
As for your dearest family,
They'll be here later on."
God gave me a list of things,
that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list,
was to watch and care for you.
And when you lie in bed at night
the day's chores put to flight,
God and I are closest to you...
in the middle of the night.
When you think of my life on earth,
and all those loving years,
because you are only human,
they are bound to bring you tears.
But do not be afraid to cry:
it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers,
unless there was some rain.
I wish that I could tell you
all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you,
you wouldn't understand.
But one thing is for certain,
though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now,
than I ever was before.
There are rocky roads ahead of you
and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it
by taking one day at a time.
It was always my philosophy
and I'd like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world,
the world will give to you.
If you can help somebody
who's in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night...
"My day was not in vain."
And now I am contented...
that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along
I made somebody smile.
God says: "If you meet somebody
who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick him up,
as on your way you go.
When you're walking down the street
with me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps
only half a step behind."
"And when it's time for you to go...
from that body to be free.
Remember you're not going...
you're coming here to me."

March 2 1990 is my Birthday.

Today is my birthday I would have been 17 if cancer had not taken my life. I guess I would have made it to 17... I sure would have tried to and I know my Mom never would have wanted me to leave her...But I was born to a happy family. My mom rasied me from my dog mom Amber...there were 9 of us in the litter.. and my Mom knew the second I was born she was keeping me... I bounced out feet first just like my Mom did when she was born.. so right away we had that in common. I loved her and she loved me back. I had a great life and was such a happy dog thru all of it. I cared about little animals and birds... once i found a tiny robin egg in the yard that a blue jay had broken the egg...the baby inside was to young to live... I layed down in the yard with my feet on either side of the egg and waited for Mom to see me..she walk out and saw the poor bird she picked it up and put it on a towel in a basket. I layed outside on the deck with the little bird all afternoon.....but it was to young. I tried to lick and let it know that I wanted to live...but he was never going to live....Mom dug a small grave for him....I want to make him better and thats how I tried to live my life....those were my gifts to give.... comfort to my friends and Mom... and the gift I gave her.. were 2 pups to keep her safe ....and they will give her their gift of love just as I did... I taught them that.. to be good and loving. I miss you and will love you always.....Nobody has ever measured how much the heart can hold.

From my Window

It sounds odd to think I spent so much time in the window. But Mom works and that is where Daisy and I saw her last. Leaving for work or going to the store, all the things she did. And I lay on my bed with Daisy, with my pointy nose peering out the window, waiting to hear her truck coming down the road. I knew that sound and if I was napping it would wake me and she was back. That was one of my many jobs holding this family together, Mom first and then I had my own pups to keep in line and then there is Daisy, my sweet pal. Our life was happy and filled with love for each other, till it all went wrong. My sweet Daisy passed and I have been sick with cancer for over a year, but I have had duties to do so I have'nt let my illness take me over . I have fought it down, but I can not any longer. I left this world hearing a voice telling me how much she loves me. I could not even open my eyes , I am so tired and sick. She ask me Carrie can you hear me sweet pup? The answer to her Question. The only way I knew how to answer her was with a Kiss. She whispered to me and kissed me , so the one thing I haved loved and loves me the most in this world. I answer her with a last kiss. To say yes , I do hear your plea to come back to you...but I can not I see Daisy she is right there waiting for me to take that first step. I can hear Mom's pain, but for the first time I can not help her, she must help me and let me go.....for there is nothing left of my life here I have taken my last steps here .....but in Heaven I will be new and run again with all the pups......... and in the end I will still be waiting....but this time it will be at the Stairway up to Heaven for her. I miss you and I will be here ... Right here waiting.....I will be the First thing you see........