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It's A Wonderful Life!

The day I took Juhn for a walk

Jax’s Journal Entry

Dog date: Hell, who knows? We don’t get the concept of “time!” We’re lucky we dogs know that it’s a different day! We live for the here and now, and maybe the immediate future! Anyway, this happened a little while ago. Whenever.

Got a surprise today. Good day. Mom (who is human) has this friend (who I think is also human), who stopped by today and I took him for a wok. Well, this friend of Mom’s, whom the others call “Juhn” or something like that, stopped by so I had him take me in his gray house box out to the woods again. This was our second trip. Walked pretty much on the same paths, so I didn’t have to mark as much territory as before which was good, because that gave me more time to snuff up the interesting spores that I found everywhere. Some pretty cool stuff out there, but, Juhn is a peculiar human. All he wants to do is wok, wok, wok. And make noises. He can imitate those stupid birds, too. He scared the fleas off of me when he started making those noises through his teeth that sounds just like a big bird ready to pounce on my back. Scary, that was! Then, all he does is yak at me the whole time we’re wokking. He gets real impatient when I stop and want to smell the wee-wee of some OTHER canine, and then he tugs on my strap thing—“leash” or something. (I’m learning some of their words, but most of the time, it’s just, “Blah, blah, blah, blah, Jax!” Or “Jaxson, Blah, blah, blah, blah!” I have NO clue what they’re talking about. I DO recognize “food,” “biscuit,” “wok” [one of my favorite human commands], and “leash.” Other than that, it’s all Cat to me!)

But anyway, we frolicked around for awhile and since I didn’t know Juhn was coming, I hadn’t filled up my bladder, so I had to take it easy on the trees and bushes at first.
Oh, and we DID run across a really hot bitch who was out wokking her human. But, both of our humans conspired to keep us from getting together, damn them! This little puppy was a cutie! Very humanized though. She stayed with her human and didn’t even bark at me. But I like a bitch who plays hard to get! She was a lot better than those two Labrador Lummoxes that almost got into it with me the LAST time that strange human friend of Mom’s took me out there.
I say Mom’s friend is strange because, well, he is. He’s the kind of human only a canine could love! But, as my own dear canine mom told me when I was just a pup, “Never look a gift human in the mouth.” He’s okay, except he has that bad Karma thing that worries me. You never know when something bad is going to happen to people like that, and I’ve found it’s best to stay away from those kinds. That’s why I don’t spend much time near him when I’m wokking him. You just never know!

Yeah, we have to keep wokking all the time but then it’s okay when HE wants to stop and smell something. Like that damned weed today. He’s smelling this flower or something and there was nothing under MY nose that held any interest for ME. I personally don’t understand what the big attraction is about flowers, anyway. They’re all pretty much the same shade of gray and the smell is just sickening sweet and overpowering. Sometimes, it takes three or four snorts before I can clear my snout and pick up the trail of something good like that collie babe again. Now THERE is a good smell! And so MANY, too! Well, she just sent me up the nearest tree. I marked a half dozen of them after we saw her the first time. For a collie mix, she was HOT! Better than my favorite pillo—never mind.

Anyhow, the wok was over way too soon, but I was out of water, anyway, and then we got back to Juhn’s gray house box again, and get this: He takes these rags and wipes off all my feet and my belly and even my tail and then lets me get into his box. But, does he wipe his OWN feet off, or his legs? No! He was filthy when he plopped right into the front of the box! Humans! Go figure them, huh? But, hey, I guess we could do worse. Like I’ve heard that pigs aren’t much fun. And horses are too big, so if we have to hang with some other species, I guess humans are our best bet. They have all the good stuff, too. Food, toys, treats, warm boxes in the wintertime. I know, it’s a human’s life, sometimes, but we just have to make do with what we have.

If only they could read minds, huh? Well, at least I don’t have to write poetry like a canine acquaintance of Juhn’s did about his human. This was pathetic but Juhn insisted on reciting it to me while we wokked. Like I said, all he wants to do is yak, yak, yak. I’m out there for the smells and the peace and quiet, but what am I hearing? That’s right! “Blah, blah, blah!” Anyway, I heard this poem so many times, I can even remember it. So, here it is.

Angst of Absence

By Zeke.

I sit and wait for your return.
Time, it drags its leaden feet.
Inexorably, I suffer the loneliness of our separation;
Each little noise raising hopes of your arrival,
Every subsequent silence, lowering me to new depths of despair.

My longing for you aches in the fiber of my heart.
Time, the cruel, silent companion, speaks of nothing.
Yet within my tortured heart, there burns the eternal ember of hope.
I yearn to breathe new life into that glowing coal.

And finally, joy leaps from my bosom,
It manifests itself in yelps of glee.
We are united once more—you have returned to me—

Only for you to leave me in the morrow,
And I await, once more, your pilgrimage back to my soul,
My hope, again, exiled to the nether regions of my furred tail.

Pathetic, huh? No wonder Zeke had his human put him down! If I had to paw that kind of crap, I’d rather be dead too! That’s one good thing about my mom, Cathy (my HUMAN mom). She’s always there for me. She’s pretty much a stay-at-home human, and I’m glad for it! She keeps me company.

Plus, she has the food and knows how to work a faucet.

So, then, when we got back, Mom’s other friend, Sandy, was there! I LIKE Sandy, too! She’s a good human. Good human. I take HER for woks, too and at least SHE brings me treats sometimes, which is something that the strange human doesn’t do. Probably better that he doesn’t. Might be poison or have catnip in it or something.

Well, this is about it for me! I’m plumb tuckered out. I just hope I don’t dream about chasing cats when I go to sleep. When THAT happens, I wake up more tired than before I slept.

This is Jax, pawing off.

Rain Rain Go Away!!!

I can' stand it!! It has been raining everyday for about a weekhere. My mom won't let me stay out in the yard when it rains. I have to admit I don't like to get wet. I catch a chill easily. I am almost ready to wear one of those doggie raincoats and boots. Just kidding I am not that desperate ....yet. I miss my friends and my long walks around the lake. This is not fair. I still get rides in the car but it's not the same. I can't smell the sidewalk or chase any squirrels. I even conned Sarah, Emma's mom into a ride around the block . It's quite easy all I have to do is plop my head in her lap and give her my hpnotic stare.. Take me for a ride...take me for a ride....You want to take me for a ride... then I grab my leash and halter and shove it in her lap and do my tigger bounce. I can bounce about 5 feet ( that always gets her!!) I bark and bark and ring the bell mom has hanging on the door knob. Finally she agrees to once around the block! It was great fun. Hey the sun just peeked out!! gotta go!

The Birthday Party

If you look through my photos you will see one with me wearing a tiara. This was not my idea! My mommy's grandaughter Emma Grace was celebrating her second birthday. Since we estimate my birthday to be the twenty first of January and Emma's is the twenty second someone ( MOM)got the bright idea to have a party for the two of us. Emma wanted to dress as a princess and insisted that I had to do the same. Everyone thought it was so cute! I can still hear them ," how funny!", " Isn't he cute!" and " How adorable!"At least I didn't have to wear that pink tutu! Thats where I drew the line. I mean ,come on ,I am a boy dog. Boys do not dress in pink. Blue maybe, but not pink. Oh, I did get alot of attention and some really nice tennis balls and treats. I even had a piece of cake. If you count all the crumbs that those kids dropped on the floor ,I probably had two pieces. All in all I guess I had a pretty good time. I just want to make it clear that I DO NOT walk around the neighborhood wearing a jeweled crown. One more thing, I was and am against having this picture made public. She better hope I don't ever learn to use this computer. She has a whole drawer of photos of herself that she keep hidden from everyone!!!