Dogster

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I'm a lover not a barker!

View from the bridge

It's been a month today since I made the journey to the rainbow bridge so I thought it about time I give an update on how things are going up here. At first I was a little confused becaue I wasn't with my momma and big brother Henry but then I the most amazing thing happened. I finally got to meet the most famous Ernie George. He came right up to me and gave me a gig sniff and greeted me with open paws. What a swell chap that EG is. His momma did a great job on raising him. EG brought along all the other pups that had made the journey to the bridge that my momma knows the humans for (Tim, Pongo, Ben, Bourdeaux to name a few).It was quite the welcoming party if I do say so myself.

So I just wanna let my momma know that I'm doing just fine up here at the Bridge with all my new friends to hang out with. I know she misses me and my adorable Pooter Belly but we will get to see each other again some day and I will be waiting patiently for her until then.

To my big brother Henry I give a great big bark out to you buddy. I sure do miss hanging with you and barking at everything that walked by our house. Things will be okay and I know Lily is really raising her kitty paw and stepping up in my place. She may be a kitty but she's okay in my book.

Well, I gotta run. There's a party getting started up here and you know what they say? Last pup to the table doesn't get a treat.

BOL!

Griffin

If You Only Knew How Much I Smell You

I have this book and the title is, If You Only Knew How Much I Smell You. It has pictures about dogs and sayings about how much they love their owners. I leafed through the book the other day and thought to myself how much I miss smelling Griff. I know this may sound strange to someone who doesn't have a pet, but each one of mine has a special smell and not in a bad way. It reminds me of the smell I would encounter when I entered my Grandmother's home, warm and inviting, home. It's that smell that I miss about my Griff. The smell of home and comfort. Of his wet hair after going outside in the rain.

As I spoke tonight with my therapist over the loss of Griff and my oscillating decision to get another dog I came to a light bulb moment....I'm not ready yet and that's okay.It's okay not to be ready. There is no deadline. After describing my connection with Griff and this unbelievalbe way we just knew what each other was thinking my therapist said to me, he was your heart animal. Wow. She was so right. Then I feared I didn't have the same connection with Henry and just as I thought that I realized that I had a totally different connection with him instead. If it wasn't for Henry I wouldn't be here today. If people ever wonder if dogs have the power to lift someone out of despair and a crippling depression I will always give a loud and resounding YES! Each one of my pets bring something special into my life and I can only hope that the feeling is mutual.

I know the old saying goes, everything happens for a reason, and I hate to admit it, it's true. As much as my heart breaks over the loss of Griff and I still cry myself to sleep most nights, it happened for a reason. Since he's passed I have constantly asked him to send me a sign that he's okay and to help me ease my pain. Tonight he did just that. He allowed me to realize that his passing is allowing me to work on some very long and overdue issues in my life. Ones that I pushed aside and deep down for many years. It's not going to be easy, not by a long shot, but it will be okay.

Grief is tricky. There is no easy fix or pill to take to make the pain go away. I learned that a long time ago. And as much as I wish there was a magic cure all I'm not sure at this point I would be so eager to take it. It's okay to cry, it's okay to feel sad, it's okay to be mad and it's okay to feel.

So if you ask me what my connection was with Griff I would say that he taught me to be in tune with another living being. To be alert and attentive to another beings needs. That it's okay to just be and it's okay to get really excited over the little things. Because every day can be just like Christmas if you let it and it was for him.

I will forever love you my little man.

Run Free Little Man

Today my little man went to the rainbow bridge. It happened suddenly and I am still quite numb from the whole day. I will post more later but for now it's till too fresh to talk about in detail.

I miss you Toots!

Love ,

Mom