August 1st 2005 4:00 pm
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My parents are crazy. They moved us into this big house, which in itself is fine. But they have this GIANT water bowl they call a "swiming pool". I call it LIQUID REFRESHMENT! But they won't let me drink out of it. And another thing, they do this weird thing where they get in the water and flap their arms around like idiots. And they tried to get ME to join them.

Well, forget that! At first it seemed like a great idea, so I put my feet in. Then I put my feet in a little deeper, and YOOOWZAAAA! That stuff is cold, and it's not so good on my bare belly. Or my, ahem, private parts. So I let that water know in NO uncertain terms who's boss...ME! But it didn't listen! And my dad just stands there, IN the water, trying to coax me in. As if! I know it's trying to swallow him up. So I bark and bark and bark at it, and all they do is LAUGH at me! It's so humiliating.

And that kid. He has turned into such a baby. He's scared of the rain, for pete's sake. When will he grow up and act like a man?