Fadders Day

Today is Fadders Day. I iz gonna talk about de Dad. He iz purty kewl. Mostly I iz my momma's boy, but I loves my Dad too. He kin play ball reely gud! And when I iz tired, he haz big feets and I sit betweenz dem all safe and takz a nap!

He iz da one who gibs us our apricot treetz ebry day. I getz 3 er 4. I has to do a sit-stay, but dey is soooo tastee I don't mindz at all.

He iz also da one with da chicken treetz after dinner! Ebry nite after dinner I goz and sleeps next to dad fer a liddle while. When I getz hungree (in about a minnit er two) I wakz up and gibs him "da look". He goz to da crinkly bag an getz da chiken filet! I duz a liddle trick: he sez "up" and I getz up and grabs da treet. I neber bitz hiz fingerz, eider. Den, I getz a bigger piece to take to da comfy bed and chew on fer a liddle while. Diz is my speshul treet time, cuz old Chelu za Poodly Gurl don't like dos treetz. Sumtimz she iz kinda stoopid. More fer me!

So I lubs my dad, who also gibs da bestest ear rubs!

Yer Pal Guy Noir

Hornswoggled by a Poodly Gurl

Dat Chelu iz da hornswogglinst gurly poodle in da world. Her speshulty iz to hornswoggle me outz ub my toyz. Take yesterday, fer example. Fer my birfday, I got a wunnerful new hedgehog. He iz so new hiz squeeker still works! He still has all hiz fur and he iz veree fun to play wif.

So anyhoo, I grabs Mr. Hedgehog and headz out da door to da yard. I gotz a gud grip on him. Mz. Chelu wantz him I kin tell but I learned dat if I getz a gud grip she can't wrassle da toyz away frum me.

Well, we getz in da yard an Mz. Chelu runz ober to da ivee on da wall and doz da mouse bounce. Dat iz da signal dat der is a mousie er sumpin else tastee hidin in da ivee. Ub course, I dropped da Hedgehog (hez fun but not veree tastee) and runned ober to check dat ivee. Mz. Chelu ranned out reely fast, like a gazelle, and she grabbed Mr. Hedgehog and runned away! She runz so fast! I can't ketch her. My only hopz iz to block her! But she iz purty smart an kin turn on a dime.

So she hornswoggled me outz ub Mr. Hedgehog agin! I gotz to member dat dem poodly gurlz iz veree trickee. So whut I did wuz I went an got a stick. I took dat stick and I chewded it reel gud and made dem puggie noises dat meanz gud fud. But I wud rather hab my hedgehog.

Yer Hornswoggled Pal, Guy Noir

I iz one ub da Diaries ub Da Day! WOOT WOOT

Ya know, sumtimz I read da assignmentz fer da Onry Onyx Academy, and I tinks to myself, datz hard werk. I cud be findin sumpin to eat on da floor (hey, I spendz a LOT ub time lookin fer sustenance) er takin a liddle nappie (lookin fer fud iz veree tirin) er playin wit dat Poodly Gurl sister...I mean, I gotz a full day wifout takin time to write evryfing down.

So I iz happee dat sumdoggy liked my diary stuff. And I wantz to thank my Pal Tug da Pug fer all hiz encouragement ub us in da Onry Onyx Academy. Oh, and I wants to say dat it iz a gud day.

Yer Pal, Guy Noir

It wuz my Birfday! WOOT WOOT WOOT a TOOT

Today I turnded 2 yearz old! It wuz a purtee gud day, eben tho it waz rainin in da mornin and I got wet when I went out to pee. It cleered up nice later. And da momma gabe me and Chelu a reel nice treet in da mornin: a tin ub dat Liddle Cesar doggie fud! We usually jest getz dry fud in da mornin.

Den momma went out but dad stayed home and we helped him do da yard werk.

Den mom come home wit prezzies! I gotz a birfday cake toy and a new hedgehog and a liddle football. And momma tookz my pickcher and put it up rite away!

Check out da one ub me wit da Great God Pan. He wuz kinda scaree but I got ober dat; I barkded and barkeded and den I peed on him so I iz da boss now.

Tankz to everydoggy fer my prezzies and bonies. It wuz a gud day.

Yer Pal Guy Noir

Pugapalooza Memorial Day Assignment

I iz gonna write da storee of the Ascii and da sister I neber met, Miss WYSIWYG (Whizzy). Miss Ascii tolded me all about her, so I feels I like I know her. She iz at da Bridge wit her best friend and sister, Ascii.

She waz alwayz kinda shy and quiet. She wuz boughted to be Ascii's friend when Ascii wuz about a year old; momma only had catz den, and Ascii wuz lonely when Mom & Dad went to werk.

Dey wuz best palz. Ascii wuz da boss, but she lubbed Miss Whizzy (except dat she wudn't let her share da fud). Den Miss Whizzy got sick when she wuz about 4 years old. She had sumpin called seizures. Dey weren't verree often or verree bad at first, but she kept havin dem eben tho she had sum medicines called phenobarbitol. It made her sleepy and hungree.

Miss Ascii's job wuz to take care ub Whizzy when she wuz sick. She wud hold her and keep her safe when she had a seizure. And after da seizure, she wud follow Mz Whizzy around and make sure she was ok (after da seizures, Mz Whizzy wuz disoriented and culdn't hear or see fer a liddle while).

Mz Whizzy got eben fatter dan me, cus da phenobarbitol makez yew verree hungree. She had speshul fud dat looked like Corn Pops.

Momma called her Lump cuz she culdn't play to much. She had her own chair and wud sit on it and get lots ub luvin from everypuggy. Her and Ascii sleeped on da couch; dey din't hab no cratez (momma sez she iz much smarter now and dat is why me and Chelu has our houses; dey keep us safe and da house safe too!).

After a few yearz, da seizure got worse and worse. Mz Whizzy got anudder medicine, KbR, to go wit da phenobarbitol. Miss Ascii was worried all da time; she wud get upset if dey tried to take Miss Whizzy to da vet alone, and would bang on da door and cry, so dey had to go together.

Finally, Miss Whizzy had a reel bad seizure; it was over 45 minutez, all da way to da emergency vet. Momma decided dat it wuz too hard for Miss Whizzy and she let her go to da Bridge.

Miss Ascii wuz ok wit dat, becuz she knew dat Miss Whizzy had a tuff life, and she wuz worn out from takin gud care ub her. So fer da next few years, Miss Ascii wuz an only pug and Momma loved her speshul becuz she wuz a gud girl.

Dat is my storee. I hopes you liked it.

Your Pal Guy Noir

I iz a bad boy

Ok, so I got my secctary Della Street (who lookz a lot like me, Noir) ta go to dat Snappy party. And den I decided to getz me sum beer. Yew can see by da picshurs dat I cudn't stay awake; I jest passed rite out. It wuz a ruff day here. We had to play out in da yard, and den we had sum fud, and den we played sum more, and den we had sum dinner, and den I had da beer.

It wuz a gud day.

Brrr

Pugsicle. Dat iz wut iz. It iz bery cold here. I am tired ub de cold. Now, I iz a New York pug. We lib near Lake Ontario. I lub snow! I don't eben mind if itz in da 20s. I kin run wit my poodly sister, Chelu, and we can play soccer and den I kin eat sum snow. If da sun iz out, there are sqwerls to bark at and sumtimez a kitty goes in our yard and we haf to chase him out. Dat iz gud stuff about winter, and I likez it.

But dis...dis 10 or 5 degrees wit wind! Wind, wind, wind! It makez it bery cold, cold, cold. Den it iz hard to do my bidness. I gotz to lean against da wall, and dat izn't fun. And to do da poopin...well, jest think how COLD dat iz on my heinie! Not gud! And if I brings out a toy, it gets frozed. And so duz our rawhides. Sumtimes dey freeze and stick to da ground and den I can't pick it up. Dat iz not gud.

I am think ub visitin my friend, Howard Pug PeePants, whut libs in Texas. Cuz I am jest tired ub this nastee weather. Now, if reglar winter comes back, I am gonna stay. Cuz dat iz gud and fun fer a pug Guy like me. But dis arctic stuff iz fer da Malmutes!

Yer Frozen Pal Guy Noir

I gots tagged fer Valuntine~

My pal Romeo Valentine's Tagged me!

So this is how this tag game goes. When you are tagged, you must list 5 Valentine's wishes, then tag 5 friends and let them know via pawmail or rosie/gift.

My 5 Valentine's wishes are:

1. I wish dat it wuz alwayz time fer fud!

2. I wish dat de weather wud get bedder so I cud go walkies!

3. I wish dat everypuggy had a woobie to play wit (and a pal to tug da other end)

4. I wish dat Chelu wud let me eat my hoofie in peace!

5. I wish dat all my puggie frendz get or stay healthy all da time.

Five friends I am tagging are:

Tug the Pug (504450)
Parsley (679038)
Meisje (695415)
Major Fowl Swat (304223)
Piggie (608767)

Fer no Pug Left Behind Skewl Why I Like Summer

Summer wuz gud becuz I kin go outside. A lot. I kin play wit my ballz (I leerned soccer dis summer) and I kin eat poop. I kin bark at sqwerls. Sumtimz der iz a stoopid kitty in de yard and we kin chaze it to da fence place dat we can not go out ub and den we kin bark at dat kitty when he stopz and washes hiz pawz at uz. Uz iz me and Chelu de Poodly Gur. She iz my buddee to play wit. She likz to play in de pool.

We getz ice cubz in de summer. I don't know if I like dem or not. Dey iz cold and tastee, but de iz magic. All ub a sudden de disappear and dere iz no more ice cubz. So dat is why I like summer. Becuz if it iznt too hot yew kin hab fun outside and play all dayz.

If it iz hot yew make de hoomanz but on de cold air box. Den yew kin run arund inside de houz and rip up yer toyz and beat up yer sister. So dat iz fun too.

Yer Pal Guy Noir

Jes ketchin up wid everypuggy

Well i bin buzy. I had de mom change my weight cuz I iz now about 30 pounds of portly pugness. I am a burly guy, a tad chunky, but not fat. My sis Chelu iz keepin me in training. Igots to run de pugtona in de yard a cuppla times a day and den we haf to wrassle and den i gotz to play tug and den she jumps on me and knock me ober anywayz! Dat girl iz small but lethal. Anypuggy need a poodly gurl fer a sister?

Dat cat Buddy iz alwayz lickin me and trying to gib me kitty kisses. Why wud a cat do dat? Den when I do de pug slobber manuver, he gitz all hissy and wops me.

And den de Ascii, she actz like she wantz to play wit me, but if I try, she growlz and de mom sez "Leave poor old Ascii alone."

Watz up here? How kin a Guy get any respeck wit all dese guyz bein all dat? Well, I guess itz ok. Dey sure are comfy to sleep wit! And cat fur tastz gud.

Yer Pal, Guy Noir Private Pug