Sometimes I can't breath

The grief that consumes me illustrates what it's like to drown.

My heart is breaking

Of all the things I am blessed with,
you are the only one I pine for.
Of all the things I possess,
you, by far, are most valuable.

The best day of my life was the day
I found you.

Before I was a Dog Mom

Before I was a dog Mom:
I made and ate hot meals unmolested.
I had unstained, unfurred clothes.
I had quiet conversations on the phone,
even if the doorbell rang.

Before I was a dog Mom:
I slept as late as I wanted
And never worried about how late I got to bed
or if I could get into my bed.

Before I was a dog Mom:
I cleaned my house every day.
I never tripped over toys, stuffies, chewies
Or invited the neighbor's dog over to play.

Before I was a dog Mom:
I didn't worry if my plants, cleansers, plastic bags,
toilet paper, soap or deodorant
were poisonous or dangerous.

Before I was a dog Mom:
I had never been peed on
Pooped on
Drooled on
Chewed on
Or pinched by dog teeth.

Before I was a dog Mom:
I had complete control of
My thoughts,
My body and mind.
I slept all night without sharing
the covers or pillow.

Before I was a dog Mom:
I never looked into big, soulful eyes and cried.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces
when I couldn't stop a hurt.
I never knew something so furry and four-legged
could affect my heart so deeply.

Before I was a dog Mom:
I had never held a sleeping dog
just because I couldn't put it down.
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night
every 10 minutes to make sure all was well.
I didn't know how warm it feels inside
to feed a hungry dog
I didn't know that something so small
could make me feel so important.

Before I was a dog Mom:
I had never known the warmth,
the joy,
the love,
the heartache,
the wonderment
or the satisfaction of being
A dog Mom

And, beloved master, should the great Master see fit to deprive me of my health or sight, do not turn me away from you. Rather, hold me gently in your arms as skilled hands grant me the merciful boon of eternal rest and I will leave you knowing the last breath I drew, my fate was ever safest in your hands.

Written by Beth Norman Harris

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Loss

I have sent you on a journey to a land free from pain, not because I did not love you, but because I loved you too much to force you to stay.

The Crush Is Upon Me

I can't sleep because your not there to curl up with. I can't eat because your not there to share a meal with. I can't even decide what to wear to work because I always got your approval before I walked out the door.

I sludge through each day in a haze of responsibility, driving the raw emotion of how much you meant to me into this place in my heart that I take out every night when no one is around so I don't offend or upset anyone. The glass shards that slice through my heart and soul will never be healed. And you are the only one who knows that.

If I ever saw an angel, it was in your eyes.

At the Bridge

It is with a very heavy heart that I write this. Taz, my beloved, was sent to the bridge very suddenly and unexpectly today. My only solace is that both Sasha and Sydney were there to greet him.

My heart is forever broken.

Shea

What a PEST she is! She is much younger than I am. Has all this puppy energy, chases me around and around...But she is really cute. After she gets done crawling ALL OVER ME, she will lay down next to me and give me gentle doggie kisses. We all still miss Sydney very much, but is is kinda cool to see both Mom and Dad smiling a lot more. Especially Dad. He really needed to have a little buddy to love on.

The Most Amazing Thing Happened !!

Mom knew that both Dad and I have been so sad with Sydney gone that she did some searching out on the internet and WE HAVE A NEW GAL TO LOVE! Last weekend we adopted Shea! More details to follow.

I miss her so...

Sydney has not returned since Tuesday. I looked and looked for her, but she is no where to be found. I miss her and know she will not come back now to play with me. She was sick. I lay around in all her spots, drag her blanket with me where ever I go. I really miss her.