They tell me I'm now Raw???

My food say's "Moo" when I eat it!

This has been going on for about 6 months now.

I'm 39.2 pounds and holding steady. The neck of a gazelle, the tuck only a seamstress could create and the speed of a Cheetah! My coat is glowing, skin is FABO and teeth are perfect! What's better.....thyroid meds have been REDUCED!!

Humans are afraid they sound like food snobs....whatever!!

My friends.....I eat rabbit, goat, chicken, beef, turkey, ostrich.....even a little bisson!

Can you guess what's been going on...can you??

Even Dad (AKA The "INTROVERT") want's to share this amazing change for those who are interested.

It's our new(ish) raw diet!! Dinner has NEVER tasted so good!!

MOOOOOOO....

Tawari........AKA Tavar!

........Parents discovered I actually answer to Tawari....LOL!

Rats.... the final frontier! (Finally!!)

Mom: I'm Home!! What's on the stove...I'm Starv......what's THAT!?

Dad: OK, calm down! (Sheepishly smiling) Look, it's a cute fluffy baby..... right??

Mom: Is that the one you were trying to convince The Kid to get? I can't believe it!

Dad: ...But look at him, poor little baby; he would have died a horrible death!

Mom: You just beat all... I'm SPEECHLESS!

Dad: But.....but....

Mom: No buts about it! Do we even have another cage? What about the other one, you know HE and SHE = THEM!

Dad: It's all taken care of! I'll take care of him, feed him, clean the cage.... you don't have to worry about a thing!

Mom: Why would I worry? He's ADORABLE! I'm so happy!

Dad: Hahh?

Mom: (looking guilty) Well, I guess he's not a problem if he makes you happy. Had you left him we would have always wondered....

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. ...funny how things change, isn't it!

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POSTLOG:

M ommy now spends frequent time with the freeloading...."Sighthound Off Limits" rodents! They're named Tink and Puck. They were recently invited to our veterinarians Open House as "Model Exotic Pets". Hello, I'm both exotic and have the body of a model, but was I invited?

I digress.......

Many of our friends have been asking how we've been lately...

In short....

At this very moment Zak in sleeping in a hamper.

I'm sleeping with the fishies ...and I LOVE it!

Dad has rediscovered French Impressionism.

Mom refuses to commit "Seedlingaside".

...And The Kid is all about this thing called an S O L.

Doesn't make any sense, does it? We're a weird little group, but happy!
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The Kid: Mom.... do you think Ferrets are cute?

:~O

Rats.....The Final Conclusion....maybe...

And then...

Mom: They're so...so... well.... CUTE!

The Kid and Dad (in unison) CUTE???

Mom: Well look at them, little fluffy babies. If I'd have known it was going to be this easy, we could have made this trip weeks ago!

The Kid: (shaking her head) Dad, I think we should pick one before Mom changes her mind again.

Dad: I like the gold one over there...we should get him.

The Kid: Hello...this is supposed to be MY pet!

Dad: (still looking at the gold rat) Oh, sure honey, I got carried away. Which one do you like?

The Kid: I like the one with the gold streak going down her back. Do you think I can hold her?

Dad finds someone to help and as The Kid is holding her new potential pet, Dad suddenly asks to hold the gold rat.

Mom: OK, it's time for pie.... I’ll be next store.

Dad: Is that the one you want?

Dad and the kid put her rat on hold to be picked up the next day so they could get a proper cage and food. The next day Dad goes and picks up the new rat that The Kid decided to call "Tink". Apparently, he also got a bit of distressing news.

Dad: Sir, has anyone bought that gold rat?

Clerk: Oh I'm sure they will, the ones that don't get sold as pets will be sold as feeder rats...but don't worry, we'll restock at the end on the month.


Much later that day...


Tavar: What are you doing...what is THAT?

Dad: I couldn't just let him stay there to land in the belly of a snake! Look at him, poor thing.

Tavar: Yes you could! One rat is bad enough...but two, it's an infestation! Does Mom know?

Dad: Ummm, well...no.

Tavar: Can I chase him? Mo and Patches were nuggets, this guy looks like a ham hock...Mmmmmmm. Horrible nasty beast.... hope I don't get fleas or the plague!

The Kid: Tavar, you know that's a common misconception. Rats make great pets; they're in expensive, easy to take care of, very social and can even be taught tricks...unlike some dogs I know!

Tavar: Thank DOG...we have nothing in common!

Mom: Hello everyone…busy day at work! Anything interesting happen today?

Tavar: (pointing an accusing finger) Why don’t you ask HIM!

Rats, birds and pie....oh my! Part III

The following is a true story...even the bird...especially the bird!


Dad: (speaking to The Kid in an Unnaturally loud voice) How...about...we...go...to...the...comic...book...store?

The Kid: You mean the one next to the bakery where Mom gets her favorite Pumpkin Pie?

Dad: Yes...that...is...the...place.

Mom: What was this about pumpkin Pie? I heard they're having a tasting this weekend! Maybe I should go with you, you know, to say hello the gals at the bakery!

Zoom zoom zoom....... about 20 minutes later.

The Kid: Look Mom, it's an exotic pet store, right in between the bakery and comic book store; wanna go look?

Mom: I see what this is all about. Fine.... but there better be a pie in it for me!

As the family enters the store, Mom plants her self under an angry and somewhat aggressive Parrot who keeps shouting "Hello...GET OUT!!!" (not making this up!) to everyone who enters the store. The Kid and Dad head back to a set of aquariums well out reach of said parrot and begin talking quietly.

The Kid: Dad, this isn't working. Look at her, she's covered in seed and still she won't budge. Did that bird just spit on her?

Dad: (Sigh) I know your Mom, she'll come. Just smile real big for her!

Determined to get Mom involved, Dad approaches Mom, more apprehensive of the bird than anything else.

Dad: Why don't you come over, you don't have to even touch them, just a quick peek!

Mom: Isn't he gorgeous, and he has quite the vocabulary too!

Dad:…. sure, if he was sailor! Come on, I promise if you get uncomfortable we'll leave, OK?

Mom: Well...all right. Bye pretty birdie!

Bird: %#*@ You! (NOT making this up.... this bird should have been cast on HBO's Deadwood!)

Mom approaches the aquarium, let's out a tiny gasp and then...

They say it's Christmas....

....This would explain why there's been a tree in the middle of the living room for the last week. Someone might want to explain to the humans that if this is indeed a "Christmas" tree they might want to hang some ornaments....anything at this point. And if they don't move it from the middle of the floor it might very well turn into a pee post for Zak.....he's been eyeing it every day and gave it an ominous sniff this morning.

Anywho, we reovered this from last years Christmas vault and since dogs (and Azawakhs!) hear at a different frequency from humans, we thought you might enjoy! BOL!!!

Oh, Holy Nightas you've never heard it before!

By the way......certain overgrown mice liked it too........we promise to conclude this story.

Royal Regards,

Tavar

Rats...part deux

Later that evening...

The Kid: Dad, what's the plan?

Dad: Where's you mother?

The Kid: Pumpkin Pie just went on sale...we won't be seeing her for a while!

Dad: OK kiddo...here's the plan....

Silently they put their heads together and scheme against their loving, TRUSTING and unsuspecting wife and mother...AKA-THE TYPIST!

The next afternoon...

The Kid: Dad that was so much fun, do you think we can go back tomorrow, I saw one I really liked!

Dad: Yes, but this time we have to take your Mother.

The Kid: You know she'll never come along willingly!

Dad: Who said she'll know where she's going!?!

Tavar: (overhearing, thinking to her self) Geesh, and I thought *I* was gifted at employing Machiavellian tactics... Let the show begin!

Oh Rats!

The Kid: Mom, I really miss Moe and Patches.....Ummmmm, I was wondering....could I have a....

Mom: NO....for the last time, we're NOT getting a cat! We don't know how Tavar and Zak will react.

The Kid: But Mom, I don't want a cat, I wanted some thing smaller like a.......

Mom: NO! We're not bringing ANY reptiles into the house!

The Kid: Mom, I don't want a reptile!

Mom: (looking suspicious and slightly worried) Well, what is it you're asking for?

The Kid: I was thinking about a rat, a pet rat.

Crash.....Mommy falls to the floor in complete horror!

Tavar: Sweetheart, I really don't think you want a rat. Don't you realize they're dirty, carry disease, they bite, they're smelly and your Mother's terrified of them!

The Kid: (staring at her unresponsive mother) Sigh....why do I , one so young and impressionable have to be surrounded by such drama!

The Kid: Dad, can I have a rat?

Dad: Sure, but we have to get it past your mother.....what's wrong with her anyway?

......stay tuned

Psssst....

Don’t for get to wish Finlay , Arya and the magnificent Seva’s mother a happy birthday on Wednesday….she like her sighthounds shall remain ageless! And darn it, she's just a Faaaboo kind of mom!

Apparently "New Mona" wasn't really a person......

Nope, not a person at all!! "New Mona" is really a condition where someone coughs for a while and then Moans (notice the clever spelling!) about every little ill, every little complication...and what's a "Horse Pistol" anyway? I tell you, the house was a lot quieter when she went to see this mythical gun-touting beast. Horses with guns??? That about covers the rest of March.

By the beginning of April she returned from the Horse Pistol and her cough was indeed gone but then the MOANING began. Mom said she was so behind on every little thing she didn't have time for us. That's right, not one moment...that's what she said.... honestly!! After being cast aside like the ugly suitcase she won't throw away because it might one day be useful, we had to fend for our selves!

Zak and me took turns walking each other. With out warmed up baby wipes our hygiene was so bad that by the time we took to walking the streets no one could stand the sight or smell of us. The sign in the front of the soup kitchen said "No Dogs Allowed". Our desperation was so great that we considered cannibalism. The noisy little Chihuahua that lives two doors down could have done nicely but his continuous yapping alerted his master that his small, insignificant life was in danger. We even considered running for.... for.... bets!!!

The rest is blur...

Then one morning life came rushing back to us when Mom announced she was "caught up"...I have no idea what the hell she's talking about, but she did stop moaning and unlike the old suitcase, she decided we really are useful and as a result our privileges and the attention we so deserve have been restored.

It was quite an ordeal for us.

It's not like I ever complain or moan...not me.

Royal regards,
Tavar


This Entry is dedicated to our friend Elvis, our uncomplaining hero. Rest in Peace beautiful sighthound.

A Bad case of the Mona's.....

We haven’t posted for a while...just when I cornered Mom right where I wanted her...

She seems to bee suffering from the Mona's!

OK, let me explain....

Mom used to have this friend named Mona. Mona was "OK", although we didn't really think she was much of a pet person...unless you count her collection of fur coats....yikes!

Anyhow, Mom used to complain that Mona gave her a headache. They haven't really talked in over a year so imagine my surprise when a "new" Mona came into the picture early last week.

I think I would prefer the old Mona, as headaches would be much better than what the new Mona does to Mom. This Mona makes her cough and cough and cough. She coughs in the kitchen, bathroom, bedroom, and living room…everywhere! Dad just told her she has new Mona and she should get off the computer and get some rest. Now, being a perceptive sighthound my feeling is that this new Mona who suddenly came into the picture isn't going to help Mom rest. To the contrary, I believe it would be in her best interest to let Mona go!!

Royal Regards,
Tavar