A Dog's Life Survey

I saw this survey on a friend's page and decided to do my own!

.:About you:.

Name: Tess

Age (in dog years): 4

Age (in human years): 28, I think

Breed: Jack Russell terrier

Fur color: Tan/brown/white

Fur Pattern: Brown and white body coloring with a tan facial mask... I also have a narrow white stripe running down my face

Size: Small (but BIG at heart)

Weight: 13 pounds

Nuetered/Spayed: Spayed

Where are you now: Outside in my yard doing critter patrol with my boys

How many brothers/sisters did/do you have: In my litter, I had one sister and four or five brothers (can't quite remember, it was so long ago since I've been with them). Now in my house I have a JRT "brother" and a Basenji/JRT "brother."

Do you have any strange markings: No

Were you adopted from a pound: No

.:Favorites:.

Food: Anything raw

Sleeping spot: Stretched out by Mom or Dad's feet

Walking place: My neighborhood

Bone: Any raw meaty bone

Treat: Bully sticks

Animal to chase: Squirrels, birds, cats... anything that comes into my yard is fair game

.:Top 3:.

Who's your #1 friend: Sully

#2 friend: Izzy

#3 friend: Mom and Dad

What's your #1 toy: Cuz balls

#2 toy: Any other type of ball

#3 toy: Anything squeaky or full of stuffing that I can disembowel

.:Have you ever:.

Been to the beach: No

Seen snow: Yes

Traveled out of your town: Yes

Bite a person: Yes... Mom says I had an attitude as a puppy

Been bit BY a person: No

Ate a frog: Probably

Broke a leg or paw: No

.:Extras:.

Most annoying thing a human can do: Ignore me when I want something

Most awesome thing a human can do: Throw the Cuz ball for me over and over and over

Boyfriend/girlfriend: My JRT girlfriend Shyla who lives in the house behind ours

Do you wear a collar: Yes

If so what color: Purple - the color of royalty, DUH

Trapped in the closet!

Yeah, I know, the title for this entry sounds risque. BITE ME, you dirty-minded humans!

I was trapped in an ACTUAL closet yesterday.

I don't know how it happened except that I have some of the dumbest pawrents in the world. I was sniffing around in their bedroom closet - hey, its where Dad keeps his dirty clothes and they smell interesting! - when all of a sudden, the door slammed shut. I figured it was just a mistake and Mom or Dad would let me out in a minute. Nope. Five minutes passed... then ten... then twenty... then forty...

I was in there for over two hours. I got so nervous that they were never coming back for me that I pooped in the closet... figuring that I wouldn't get in trouble for it because I'd be dead by the time one of the humans opened the closet door again.

Well, they FINALLY found me. Mom wasn't even upset about the poop! She hugged me really tightly - bleccchhh - and kept saying something like, "Don't ever scare me like that again! Mommy was SO worried about you! What were you DOING in the CLOSET?"

Mom's a moron.

Birthday, etc.

First of all, thank you so much to all of the dogs who remembered my birthday yesterday! I loved the rosettes and the birthday wishes and the fact that Dogster HQ gave me some bones! This place rocks and I love you all! (Thanks also to SmartJacks and Chloe', who always remembers special occasions!) I got a peanut butter cake and some peanut butter "pupcakes" to share (grrr) with the others. Mom got the goodies from East End Pet Bakery, the place where a lot of our fresh-baked treats come from. I love that place! The treats are DELICIOUS!

Okay... we've been MIA from Dogster for quite a while now because Mom and Dad recently got married! Life has been pretty frantic ever since then because they're settling into the house with all their new stuff (they lived together before they got married though), Dad started a new job at the bank, and Mom went back to work and grad school. So the computer is constantly in use and it's really hard for us pups to sneak onto it and go to Dogster. My apologies... I know we've probably been missing lots of stuff and that stinks!

Anyway, Mom took us to the dog park again the other day and I think I got myself in trouble. You see, I love to bark to get other dogs to play with me. (Mom tells me this is annoying but ask me if I care.) Mom took us into the big dog section of the park because there's usually nobody in the small dog section (and anyway, it's very boring... no offense, small dogs, but most of you just aren't active enough for me!), and when she released us I began barking like crazy and trying to start a game of chase with the big guys. A TON of dogs came running over and I got a little bit defensive because I felt overwhelmed with the amount of dogs surrounding me. They all were WAY bigger and some of them were getting rough with me... I think they were bothered by my barking, the no-fun jerks. So I tried defending myself and I guess I started a little bit of a dog fight. Sully tells me that Mom was calling me over and over again but I honestly couldn't hear a thing except for my own barking and the other dogs' snarling. Finally, this man named Mitch grabbed me up, held me really close, and talked soothingly as all the other dogs swirled around our bench and their pawrents came over to calm them down. Mom was PISSED at me; I could tell. (I'm glad Mitch caught me and not her.) After a little while, Mitch put me down on the ground and I ran around the park, calmer and quieter this time. But somehow (I'll spare everyone all of the details), this happened twice more with me at the center of a huge fighting pack. Mitch got bitten during the fray... I felt bad about that. Mom fixed him up with her first-aid kit (which she always brings to the park just in case) and he was very thankful... then she leashed me and collected Sully and Izzy and we left the park. The whole way home, I sat in the backseat quietly because I could feel Mom's anger. I don't think my brothers were too happy with me either; they'd been having a good time at the park before we had to leave. Sully told me that I ruined the day. WHATEVER. It's not my fault that some dogs took my barking funny... I just wanted to play!

Mom says I'm banned from the park. My life just isn't fair.

Dog park news

Yesterday we had a great time because Mom and Dad took us to the dog park! Yep... that's right folks... they finally persuaded the uptight hoity-toities that control Long Island to set aside some land in a couple of state parks for us dogs! It was really cool... although Mom and Dad had a little trouble finding the place because it wasn't clearly marked, some nice people helped us and soon we were in the park! At first I was frustrated because we were stuck in the "small dog" area, which was EMPTY and much smaller than the "big dog" area! What gives? I don't need to be in the small dog area because I'm NOT small; I'm as big-hearted as any pit bull or mastiff out there and just as tough too! Plus I can run and play with the big dogs; no little delicate pups need apply to play with me! I like to play rough and snap and tumble and jump! Anyway, once Mom and Dad saw that there was a Pomeranian in the big dog area, I guess they figured it was okay to take me and Sully and Izzy in there too. When they let us off our leashes I ran as FAST as I could and even let out a few barks just for the sheer pleasure of it all! WOW it felt good to run flat-out like that! I chased a big Golden retriever mix who was very friendly and got acquainted with a really fat Rottweiler who was very sweet! There were some small children there too and I let them give me belly rubs... it's usually Sully's department to deal with kids but people ought to know that I like them too... just not as much as he does. This park was so neat because it was way bigger than our backyard and had lots of other dogs too! Sully kept wandering into the wooded area and he had diarrhea that Mom couldn't clean up. I don't think she was too happy about that. I did a nice solid poop in the small dog area... not because I had to go, but simply because I wanted to let the pawrents know exactly how I felt about being confined to the small dog area. I know DARN well I don't belong there! Maybe my wussy little brother, but certainly not stouthearted me!

Mom says that another dog park is opening next month that's even closer to our house and much BIGGER than the one we just visited! She says we're going to make the dog park a regular outing once the one close to us opens us! Hooray! I'm so excited that I just gotta BARK! (Oh yeah, and some people shouldn't be allowed in the dog park... like the lady who said loudly in Dad's vicinity, "Get that puppy under control!" when I was letting out a few barks yesterday. EXCUSE ME? FIRST of all, I'm not a puppy, you twit; and SECONDLY, I am a DOG and I was having FUN! A few barks never hurt anyone and I stopped every time Mom told me to... since when is it a crime for a DOG to BARK? Grrrrr... yep, I'm growling at her. Only in this diary though... I wouldn't growl at people no matter how much they may deserve it because, let's face it, my manners are MUCH better than some people's... and that's the way I like it! That way, when they're acting like turds and they think they're superior to me just because I'm a dog, I can just roll my eyes and digest what a load that is! BOL! Makes me laugh!)

Mom's new job

Mom has been out of work for a little while, so we really haven't been able to do much and she's been hogging the computer to apply for jobs... so we haven't really been on Dogster either. But yesterday, Mom got a new job... and MAN is it the sweetest job ever! She's working for Vo-Toys Inc., which is this HUGE dog toy company! They als make apparel, rawhides, and costumes for special occasions... they have a ton of stuff! Mom is an assistant to the national sales manager so she does all of the organizing and data entry and stuff like that. The coolest part? Us dogs get FREE TOYS and we get to go to work with Mom and test toys sometimes! HOW PAWSOME IS THAT? Mom came home after her first day of work yesterday with an armload of squeaky toys left over from the Halloween stock and I had a blast tearing them apart and leaving fuzzy entrails all over the entire house! WOO-HOO! I am so excited about this new job! I hope she brings me to work sometimes and doesn't just bring Sully. He gets to go everywhere and I'm always stuck at home just because I pee when I'm greeting people. Mom repeatedly tells me to calm down and that people don't like it. I wish she could understand Dog language because I keep trying to tell her that pee is a GOOD thing and the humans should like that I would be so gracious as to make them think that they're the ones in charge! (HAHA all of us dogs know that's not true though!) Argh... we'll have to wait and see what happens. Hopefully Mom will bring me to her office and I can try out some new toys. She's always saying that if a toy can survive me, then it's truly indestructible. So far nothing has beaten me... and I plan to keep it that way! After all, what's the point of getting a toy if you can't destroy it? Looking at it day after day will get incredibly boring... they must be destroyed!!

Now I know you're all jealous because my mom has this pawsome new job... I finally join the ranks of dogs whose pawrents have jobs in OUR industry! Yay!

Den carpet

Yesterday Mom and Dad put us outside for most of the day. It was crazy hot and I was not amused because I hate having to pant like mad. Yeah, we had plenty of water but GEEZ... they have a little thing called air conditioning and I didn't understand why we couldn't be inside. These men came over and started banging around in the den and making lots of noise. I was barking but Mom and Dad didn't seem to care that they were making me look rude. Isn't it protocol to greet guests promptly? I thought so...

Once the men left, Mom let us inside... and I knew something was different immediately. We have new carpet in the den!!!! It is really nice and soft, and I am enjoying it a lot. It was worth it to be stuck in the heat because now I can lay all over the floor and be surrounded by luxury and comfort wherever I land. It's so great! Our old carpet was really old and threadbare and even though I'm not horribly picky about where to lay, someplace soft is always preferred. The only thing that annoys me about this new carpeting is the smell. I had the old one smelling like us dogs no matter what Mom did to try and remove the odor. Now this one smells... well, NEW. And I'm not a fan. Guess I'll have to do something about this as soon as possible... any ideas that wouldn't get me in trouble?

Oh yes; this carpet is also thicker, so I can't push my toys underneath the couch and dig them out. Something will have to be done to remedy that as well.

I have some thinking to do...

Eau de avian (the dead kind)

Lots of stuff has happened at our house lately so I haven't had much time to write. There are lots of squirrels and birds out this morning and I've gotta get to chasing them, but I just had to tell the Dogster community that we found another dead bird the other day and the smell was intoxicatingly beautiful!All of us took turns rolling on it and I was in HEAVEN. The bird was full of maggots and flies! I think Sully and I rolled the most and we definitely smelled the best!

You can probably guess what Mom did once she caught a whiff of us...

Glory be the day... the boys were in trouble!

Ohhhhhh YES. Mom's spoiled little man, Sully, did something even she couldn't ignore. He and Izzy grabbed Izzy's towel out of the crate and were shredding it to pieces on the living room carpet. When Mom found them she was PISSED! She made them go for time-outs in their crates but she let ME stay out and play. It's about time Sully got into some serious trouble that he couldn't just roll over on his belly and make Mom forget! She yelled at him and everything!!

Sorry... I know it's mean... but you just have no idea what it feels like to be the GOOD DOG and get yelled at more than your little brother just because he likes to snuggle and can do some silly tricks if he thinks you'll feed him. I'm the loyal one who sits at Mom's feet, and she yells at me way more than she ever does him. It's so unfair that I just can't talk about it anymore.
Izzy is a hellraiser. With him around I look like an angel who couldn't do anything wrong even if I tried. He is PAWSOME!!

Oh yeah, yesterday Mom laughed at me because I was eating my bully stick in the yard and the lawn guy came rumbling through on his mower and I didn't feel like moving from my spot. Eating around the other dogs is so annoying because they hover like vultures and it does nothing for my sensitive constitution to have them around my food. So I stayed smack in the middle of the lawn and made the guy mow around me. When Mom saw me nonchalantly chomping on the bully stick while that lawn man putt-putted all around me, she was hysterical! I personally could care less that he's in the yard. I only bark at the back door when he's in there because I know how oblivious humans are and I just want to make sure Mom knows he's out there wreaking havoc on my grass. (Yes, it's MY grass. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!)

The dryer died

Well, I exaggerate just a bit. The dryer is DYING. It's quite a process and it's making the most terrible noises I've ever heard. I really wish Mom and Dad would just put the darn thing out of its misery because everytime they put a load into the dryer it just about makes me deaf. Don't they realize that if those noises hurt THEIR ears then they must be KILLING ours? Dogs' hearing is sooooo much better than humans'!

Jared was outside mowing his lawn this afternoon and I just stood at the fence and barked at him. Really, I bark to issue a challenge and warning: He'd better keep that mower off my property or else he will PAY! I don't like lawnmowers because they cut the grass down really short and then I have a hard time eating it. Mom calls me a cow because I graze a lot. If eating delicious grass is truly grounds for being called a cow, then MOOOO. Freakin' moo-moo-moo.

Auntie's moving out today. I'm sad to see her go even though she grabs me and cuddles me sometimes. She's a softy and she's pretty easy to manipulate... if she goes, then it's just us and Mom and Dad. And they are not easy to manipulate at all. I know some humans are very easy to train but ours are super-stubborn. Good thing I'm a Jack Russell because that automatically makes me smarter than all humans. Eventually I'll figure out how to break 'em down. Does anyone else have extraordinarily stubborn humans? If you do and you have any suggestions for going about training them to obey the Jack Russell (or any dog, for that matter), please feel free to p-mail me!

Tag - I'M IT!

I got Dogster-tagged by my pal Brinlee! :)

Listen up for the rules: You must list seven pawsome facts about yourselves (try to be as creative as possible, it makes for fun reading!) in your diary. Then, list seven of your Dogster pals at the end of the entry and send them all p-mails or rosettes telling them they've been tagged! Then they have to do the same as you. (Make sure you tell them to read your diary for instructions, otherwise they may be very confused.)

Getitgotitgood?

Excellent! Now, about ME:

1. The only way I'm comfortable riding in the car is when Mom lets me stick my head out the window. Otherwise, I'm a hyperventilating mess.

2. My current project in the yard is digging a super-deep hole. It's so deep that Mom can't see me when I'm down in it. Mom says I'm digging to China... I don't know where that is but I'd be happy to visit!

3. Although I look big and "butch" (as Dad says), I have the highest-pitched bark of all the dogs in the house! I sound like a puppy!

4. When I was younger and dumber, I hopped up on the kitchen table and helped myself to some of Mom's college graduation cake. Boy was I in trouble!

5. My favorite toys EVER are the small Cuz balls. I can amuse myself for hours with one of them!

6. I don't like to be held. Bellyrubs are good... but only if I feel like it!

7. I love to snuggle with Sully, especially on the dog bed. We are very close and Mom calls us "two peas in a pod." But if you tell anyone that I love Sully I'll beat you up!

Okay, now to tag some of my buddies (in no particular order):

1. Zoe
2. Jasmine
3. Odie
4. Adam
5. Bailey, NPC
6. Breeze
7. Radar