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Max's Musings

It's no Ural Sidecar...

But I still look pretty nifty riding in it.

Dad bought a golf car.
Mom keeps muttering "Boys and their toys..." with a sour look on her face. Forget her!

The new cart is RED!!! It has a windshield, but no headlights or tail lights. It also doesn't have a horn, which is another reason why, I think, Mom is bitter. When Dad first brought up the idea of buying a golf cart Mom was strongly opposed to that idea.
I'm not sure why exactly, but it could have something to do with the fact that Dad already spends an insane amount of time at the course, and having a golf cart would only add to the time spent on the course and not with her.

I believe all of this bitterness on her part started a few months ago when her car died. Dad had just left Mom's house. Mom needed to run to the store and realized her car battery was dead. She called Dad (who had JUST left, and therefore shouldn't have been too far away) and told him she needed his help. The car parts store closed at 7:00, it was 5:00. Dad said he'd be "right there". Flash forward 1.5 hours later. Dad is still not there. Mom is p.o.'d.
As it turns out, when Dad said he'd be "right there", what he meant was, "I'll be right there after I swing by the driving range and hit a bucket of balls." I still don't know why she got her panties in a bunch. Dad got there in plenty of time to take her to the car parts store and buy a new (Non-German made) car battery. They even had 2 minutes to spare!!

So, when the idea of buying a cart was broached, Mom frowned strongly upon that idea. When Dad said he might be able to find one that has a horn, she warmed slightly to the idea. Mom likes to drive like a maniac at the golf course, a horn would help this.

So, here we are now. A (slightly used) golf cart with no horn. Mom realizes now, she was duped.
Doesn't matter. Dad and I cruise around the course, I start off the game riding alongside Dad, waving to my adoring fans. Soon thereafter I jump out and make my way around the course on my own.
Life is good for us guys!

Totally not worth it!

Mom managed to sneak me out of the house on Saturday, without Sam and Izzy!
I thought we were going to bond - the two of us. You know, like a trip to the local Dairy Queen. Sharing of feelings, that kinda stuff.

Boy was I wrong!

I was all jazzed up to ride in the car, until I noticed where we were headed... the vet. Apparently I needed my lepto booster and a check-up on my ear infection.

Mom let me out of the car and asked me if I had to potty before we went inside.

Yup. Sure do. Maybe here?
Or perhaps over there?
Then again, maybe I have to pee waaaay over there.
After allowing me to wander for a few minutes trying to find the perfect pee pee spot, Mom cut me off and pulled me inside.

As usual, people ohhh'd and aww'd over me.
I was weighed. 50.5#. When Dad took me to the vet a week ago, I weighed 51.5#, thus prompting him to start calling me "fat". Mom disagreed strongly. She asked the vet tech what she thought of my weight. The vet pet me and pinched me and declared my weight "perfect". Mom immediately called Dad to let him know this fantabulous info.

Once in the room, I was immediately violated in the way that we all know too well. My temp was normal.
THEN, the tech stuck a few cotton swabs in my ear and violated me in a totally different way. Mom was a bit disgusted at the crud that showed up on the swabs.

Hey! I'm a dude. Dude's don't clean their ears.

Eventually the vet came in and started poking me all over again. I tried to give her a few kisses, hoping to entice her to stop. She thanked me for the kisses, but continued on with the exam. Bitch.

She shot me in the arse and then left to look at the slides of my ear crud.

As it turns out, the infection is better, much better. But still it remains.
So, we continue on with the drops for the next week. In addition, I also have to have drops put in my ears to preven crud build-up. I am so not okay with this.

When I thought I could be violated no more, the tech pulled me to the "back room" to check out my anal glands.

Dad never remembers to have them check those. Mom always remembers. Bitch.
Turns out they were pretty full. It was a silent victory on my part, against the vet tech who had violated me so.

The car ride home was silent. I would have gladly forgone a ride in the Cooper if I could have avoided all I was forced to endure at the vet.

Me too! Me too!

Maxwell the Maurauder!!!!

Bring it!

Or spell it...don't let my lack of spelling ability fool you! I will destroy you all!