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Max's Musings

Lies!

Dad was pulled over for speeding (again) a few weeks ago. The last time this happened, my charm and good-looks got Dad out of the ticket.

This time, the officer wasn't interested in me... He asked Dad why he was speeding. Dad responded by telling the officer he was a doctor and was just paged about a patient (true) and Dad needed to get to the hospital (not so true, exactly).

See, the patient was already, kinda dead. So, really there was no actual urgency to the sitation. He would be dead whether Dad got there sooner or later. Dad was needed in order to actually pronounce the guy as being dead.

And just so you know, when he pronounces someone dead, he doesn't do a whole Moses-parting-the-Red-Sea-arms -raised-above-the-head "I pronounce thee dead!" thing... Mom asked.

But, Dad felt safe in his "mis-truth" because the patient was still hooked up to the ventilator, so really, if you dig real, real deep, technically the guy wasn't reeeeallly dead, and Dad did need to hurry to "save" him. Really, he needed to hurry cause he had to pee.

The officer asked what Dad planned on doing with me, thinking he was going to trap Dad in a lie. Dad said, "Oh, the dog will have to wait in the car at the hospital, no time to drop him off." Lie.

It's a wonder I turned out a great as I did...

I don't think so!

My chariot (aka Golf Cart) crapped out this week.

Dad just payed beau-coup bucks to have the batteries replaced a few weeks ago, so the sudden demise of the cart was unexpected.

As I type this, the chariot is in the shop, being evaluated for repair. Last night, Dad asked me if I wanted to go to the golf course with him.

And walk the course?? Surely you jest. Dad then pointed out that:
1. I do, in fact, spend most of my time "walking" the course, as I generally am allowed to run amok whilst he is playing the links.

and

2. There are rental carts available.

I looked at Dad as if he had lost his ever-lovin' mind. Yes, it may be true that I don't actually spend the entire time riding in the cart. Usually I ride in it on the way to the first hole, waving to my fans the entire way, then hop out after Dad tees off.

BUT... I will NOT let my loyal fans see me riding around in a rental.

Trashy.

Carry on with out me. I'll wait for the chariot to be repaired, thanks.

Slumber party!

Izzy and Sam came up to Crappy Town on Saturday night!!

We started off by playing in the backyard, chasing squirrels and whatnot. Soon enough, I had nudged the gate open and Izzy and I took off!!

Sammy was being a goody-two-shoes and stayed home.... LOSER!!

At some point, we saw Mom and Dad driving around looking for us - it was great playing hide and seek with them!

Eventually they gave up, with Dad telling Mom that dinner was ready, so they needed to head home. Shortly after they started their dinner, Izzy and I scampered through the neighbor's yard - Mom saw us and called us to come inside.

Bummer.

Later that night, we all got yum-yum bones to chew on. Finally the Peeps decided to turn in for the night, leaving us pups unsupervised.

I was feeling restless and a little bit devious. I decided to rally the troops and try to start some trouble.

The idea of a panty raid was nixed.
Ghost stories were out too.

I decided it was time to howl at the moon. So I did, hoping Izzy and Sammy would join in.

They didn't.

Apparently they were "tired" and wanted to "sleep".

BORING!

I tried barking at the neighborhood dogs, seeing if they wanted to play.

They were also tired and told me to hush.

Around 4:00 in the AM (central time), I tried barking again, only to be told "QUIET!!!" by Dad.

Buzz kill.

Dad woke up a few hours later to go make rounds at the hospital. I thought he would leave the door to the bedroom open to I could say "'Mornin'" to Mom. He didn't, thus forcing me to talk to Mom through the door.

I talked, and talked, and talked the rest of the morning until Miss Sleepy Pants FINALLY woke up at 7:30 and said hi to me.

'Cept it didn't come out like "Hi Maxwell!" It sounded more like, "Shut the f**k up!!!!"

Ingrate.

Dad came home awhile later, only to catch Izzy and Me sauntering through the front yard again.
We were rounded up, the gate was secured again.

Sunday morning pancakes were served - yum!

My guests left a few hours later.

It's hard hosting a slumber party!!