Billy's Barks

Happy Birthday, My Special Boy

It's now January 14th, 3:30 am in the morning...my birthday, but also your birthday too. Since we didn't know any of you furkid's official birthdays, we always celebrated certain ones on certain days. You are my special baby, my soul mate and my brother, and so for the past 17 years you and I have celebrated out birthdays together. I'll be 22 today, and you would've been 17. Remember last year, you got a special happy birthday bone with "Woof!" frosting on it, made just for you at the doggie bakery. We blew out our candles together and as always you had a wonderful time opening your gifts, the toys and treats alike.

It's been almost three months now since you went to the Rainbow Bridge, and I still find myself looking around the house for you, I still walk to the cabinet to get your medications out a certain times. It just doesn't feel real, and I think a good part of me is still in firm denial of reality. It seems so unnatural to not see you there snuggled with your sister Keechi like you always were. She misses you a lot, we all do...and I just want you to know I love you, always always always and forever forever forever. I left little treats outside for you and Milo on Thanksgiving and on Christmas, and while I know the raccoons and other animals are likely eatting them, I'll continue to bring treats out there.

I can't stop thinking about you...you've taken on a major role in my artwork, and many of my drawings center on you and how I know you are now: happy and pain free, reunited with all our furry friends there at the Bridge and making new Bridge friends, but always always here too. Every other song I listen to brings memories of you to my mind, and I dream about you every night. I know it's really you in those dreams, letting me know you're alright and happy. I just miss hugging you so very much, and I miss our kissy sessions and chickenee times, and so so much more. I'm sorry for anything I ever did to upset you, was I there enough? I never, ever meant to sound angry at you...I never was, I couldn't ever have been. I loved, still love and always will love you with every single ounce of my soul, and you will always be the most important being in the universe to me.

I'm sure I'll add more here throughout today, but right now I have two songs for you. First is one I know you'll know right away, because I sang it to you a lot. It was just a simple little tune, but it meant a lot to us.

"Him's my special boy, yes him is...him's my special boy, yes him is...him's my special boy, him's my special boy, him's my special boy, yes him is!" Always, always always...

The other song I sang to you more when I was younger, the song you were named after..."Billy Boy"...but we had our own special version of it, didn't we?

"Can him bake a berry pie, Billy Boy, Billy Boy...can him bake a berry pie, charming Billy. Him can bake a berry pie quick as I can blink my eye, him's a small thing and should not leave him's mother...him's a small thing and should not leave him's mother."

You were very small, the runt of your litter when we first brought you home...but you grew up to be a healthy and happy boy! Later on your sister became the smallest dog in the family, didn't she? I'm trying really hard to find some of your puppy pictures...you know how we are at keeping things together, and it's been so many years ago. Once I find them I've got a very special music video in mind that I'm making for you too. I know these kinds of gifts aren't as fun or yummy as the ones you got last year...but I know you're getting lots of yummy treats and fun fluffins toys at the bridge too.

I love you, my special Billy baby boy,
always and forever always and forever always and forever,

Lots and lots of hugs and kissies and tummy rubs, because all doggies like tummy rubs, all doggies do!

Autumn/Mom, and also Gloria-mom, Bruce-dad, and your brother and sisters!