New friends

There have been many who have come through our home since I went away. Some very sweet and cute and in great need of help. We have taken them in and I told each one that they are safe and Mom and Dad will take care of them.. The last 2 they took in are still here and they take care of them and let them know they are loved, they are important, they are of value and Mom and Dad will help them in any way they need help. The last one is a big dog. He is my size. He is a very handsome boy that Mom named Beau. He has ways that make her think of me and she cries when her memories of me come. This morning she is having a really bad time. I slept close to her last night and she misses me very much. I try to stay as close to her as she needs me to be but it's hard for her not being able to see me except in photos and inside her mind and heart. She is working to get a little girl Boston from the pound. They want to kill her and Mom is saying she will come get her. Her name is Susie and I am trying to help her feel safe and let her know Mom and Dad will get her soon and she will be fine. I'll stay close to Mom and try to make her feel better. Maybe when Susie gets here tomorrow she will feel happy. I hope so.

A good start.

The year is off to a good start. Mom and dad took in 3 dogs since the first and they have had some adopted out. I watched over them when they took in Ginger. That was tuff. I had to work hard to find her the right home. My Master had to help me with that one. I handled Dew and Kissy's adoptions. They were easy cause those 2 are sweet dogs. Now they took in Drew. He is going to be a challenge. He is such a puppy. I will have to ask the Master for help with Drew.

I see that Ollie is having a little problem. He has allergies. He will be OK. He's tired. His body just does not work as it used to. I remember how that felt. Not good. I don't think it will be too long before Ollie comes here with me. It will be a while yet though. I know it will be hard on Dad when Ollie comes here. Dad really loves that old dog.

Mom is doing ok it seems. She still talks to me and about me to people. She still has my collar on the side of her bed. Sometimes she holds it and smells it and she talks to me. I wish I could tell her I miss her too but that would just make her cry more. I asked my friends here if their mom's every stopped crying for them and they said it takes a long time and that moms never forget and neither do dads. Mom said I would always live in her heart and it looks like that is true.

On Christmas Morning I Wish...

On Christmas morning, I wish...

For every dog searching trash cans for breakfast, a
Filled bowl with his name printed in bright letters.

For every dog who slept fitfully last night, chained
In a frozen yard, a soft, warm bed with a person
Snoring gently nearby.

For every shelter dog, spending Christmas morning in a soiled run, a forever
home, filled with sounds and
Smells of family.

For every "Christmas" puppy given today, a tolerant,
Caring owner who won't abandon you as you grow into a real dog.

For every ailing pet, enough money for your owner to
Pay the bills to make you well.

For every lost dog, a clear, safe road, and well
Marked path, to lead you home.

For every old and tired friend, a warm fire, and a
Soft bed, to ease your aches and pains.

And

For every Heart Dog at the Bridge, a moment when you know that you are
remembered today, missed again, and loved forever.

Author unknown
6 months and I still think about you every day and miss you 100 times a day. Rest well my precious friend. I love you even in death. Tell Jesus Happy Birthday for me.

Season changes

Buddy,It was cool this morning! The season is changing. The season of cuddles on the recliner under a blanket is almost here. My Buddy will not be here with me to cuddle this season and that thought makes me profoundly sad. I should have adjusted to your being gone by now but I have not. I think about you very often and I wonder if you see what is going on in your home. Bella's ears are bothering her yet again. Your baby Heidi is doing fine and is still the baby here though she is not a puppy anymore. We do have a puppy now. She's very tiny and I know you would love her and take care of her the way you did Heidi. I'm doing my best and her mother is here so she is safe and cared for. I miss you Buddy. Sometimes I look around in the yard at your favorite spot. The spot where you liked to lay in the sun. I can see you there in my mind and my heart aches because I can't reach out and touch you. I miss you so much. I miss you every day and I hold your memories in my heart.

5 years today....

It was 5 years ago today that we drove a few blocks away to pick up a dog someone had found and after not being able to find his owner was asking us to take him. I will NEVER forget when the man opened the wood gate and Buddy came out. My heart was so big inside me that I thought it would burst. He was very thin, covered with fleas, and looked so scared. I was in love. To me he was the most beautiful dog I had evet seen. He ran to the SUV and jumped right in and sat up like he had been waiting for US to go get him. From that day Buddy was the light of my life. We spent a lot of time and money but never ever will I regret any of it. He had worms, fleas, and heart worms and was in such bad physical shape that our vet would not even neuter him until we could get him in better shape. I fed him like a king and gave him all the love I had. He became MY dog. He loved his Dad but his Mom was his 1st. person. I remember staying up nights with him many times as he was going through treatment. Even for his neuter I put everything on hold to care for my Buddy. I had the pleasure of sharing my life with him for just a little less than 5 years. It was not long enough... but I don't think any amount of time would have been enough. I miss him every day and today I miss him even more. He was truly a blessing from God to me. Rest my Buddy, until we meet again.

It's better now.

I have stopped crying so much and am trying to think happy thoughts. I started going through the many photos I have of Buddy and it hurts. He was such a handsome boy and I was so proud of him. He was so comforting because he knew my mood completely. Worried, sad hurried, thoughtful. He always knew and was so comforting. He was also fun. We played in the yard and inside and he made me laugh. I don't think I will ever stop missing my Buddy at the same time being so grateful I had him in my life. He was such a good friend.

Diary Pick!

Hummmm I'm a diary pick for the day. I hope my diary doesn't make anyone sad. My life really is a good story. It was a good life. Ya, it started out not so great and in fact it was pretty bad for a long time. That's what made the second half so great. I had all the things I wanted and prayed for once my Mom and Dad rescued me. I was a very lucky guy for the last 5 years and I am thankful for that. I had lots of love and all the things a canine could want. I had lots of foster dogs for friends and I have tons of Dogster friends. In the end I had the BEST because my parents and my vet did not let me stay in pain just so they could have me on Earth. Sometimes humans do that and it is so sad. Mom said she would not let that happen to me and she didn't forget that promise. Mom loves Dogster. She says she has made some good friends that she will probably not get to meet face to face but they are wonderful, loving and compassionate people. I'm so glad she has her Dogster friends. Thanks to all of you for helping Mom.

Missing Buddy

I know Buddy would not want me to be sad. He used to get very upset if I got upset and couldn't stand for me to cry. When Andy died I cried and he got on my lap and washed my tears and I could see it upset him. I needed to cry and I did but now I will be brave as he was brave through his illness. All I can think about now is getting someone on Dogster to make Buddy a set of wings. I know he is an Angel now but I just would like to see him with his wings. Maybe someone will do that for me .....Please.

Bella is doing OK. I think Buddy prepared her for his death. She had been with him since the day he came here. I expect her to feel his loss. Like right now. She just walked into the room where I am and sat down and looked all around the room. I wonder if she was looking for her brother? Maybe she was just keeping a promise to Buddy to look after me, as he had done so very well. I don't know how to help her if she is missing him except to give her extra cuddles and tell her it is all right that her brother is not in pain anymore. I always thought animals are smarter than people about many things. I think God gave them a special ability to feel, hear and just know things we can't even imagine. She seems at peace so I choose to believe she knows Buddy is OK and all is well with him now.

Today I tried not to cry. I tried to push the sadness and the empty feeling away by telling myself I did the right thing. I asked our vet to do a necropsy because I HAD to know what happened. Why was his abdomen so very extended? The vet said his liver was 2 to 3 times the normal size! I know he was miserable. He must have been in pain as well though he never cried out or made a sound to indicate pain. I have to remember the look in his eyes yesterday morning. It said "Please let me go. I am ready. I need your help" Then as the vet administered the drug and he looked in my eyes and said "I love you, thank you for the life we shared." I stayed with him holding his head in my arms, telling him I loved him and he was a good boy, my baby boy and I would miss him every day for the rest of my life."

Take care of my Mom.

Mom and Dad took me to the vet yet again. I didn't want to go because I felt so bad. I just wanted to sleep but it's hard to lay down for long. The vet talked and talked and Mom cried so I stood close to her to make her feel better. Then we went into a room and again I had to go on the table. I felt sooooo bad but I didn't make any fuss at all because I am a good dog. Then the vet talked to my Mom some more and she cried some more. Then he got his needle for another shot. I was tired of shots and medacine. I was tired of feeling so uncomfortable that I could not find a position that I felt good in. I was just tired, very tired. I felt the doctor put the needle in my arm and Mom held me close and told me over and over that she loves me and that I am the best dog she could have ever dreamed of. I just felt as peace, the pain went away and I was comfortable for the first time in a long time. Mom and me, that's how it's been for 5 years. I love my Dad but it's been me and Mom that have been so close. Then the deep dark sleep came and I could still hear Mom saying "I love you Buddy. Your my baby boy. Your a good boy Buddy.I will miss you so much' Then I saw it! The beautiful Rainbow Bridge I've heard about. I'm making my way there now. Bye Mom, Dad, Bella and all my friends. Take care of Mom everyone.

Not feeling so well today.

I just don't feel well. My belly is so big. It feels like I am going to pop open. I eat only a little at the time because I don't hve space for food inside. I am so uncomfortable so I just move from one sleeping spot to another. At times I get the shakes and Mom feels like I am in pain so she gave me some pain med. I don't really think it helped. She sent a message to my vet and told him she thinks it's time for me to go and that she would like him to set aside some time for me. Time to help me go over the bridge. She is so sad and I am too. I'm sad about not being with her anymore but I am so miserable. I just don't know what to do with myself. I need peace and be able to feel comfortable. I asked Mom to please let me go. I think she is ready.