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My Life As It Is, By Lucky Bellou

Yet Another Year Without You

To My Beaultiful Little Boy Lucky Bellou,
I'm sorry my old friend, for being late with this entry. We were on the road visiting family for a month, and I was not able to write to you.
It has been over three years, my dear old soul, since we last saw each other. Soon, the day will come when you will be departed from us longer than you were with us. It is difficult to image that this is possible. My love for you has never waned, never stopped. Our travels take us to new places that we have never seen , and always, I am wishing that you were here to share them with us. Your picture is with me, beside me, when we are traveling, and I know that you are guiding us safely to our destinations.
I miss you so much my little boy, I still cry when I think about you, and my heart still aches. Even though I know that you are not far away, the pain is still very real.
I am thankful every day for the short time that we had together; it could have been 100 years, and it still would not have been enough.
This world is not a better place without you in it, my dear old friend, and my life is not as full without you here.
I miss you Lucky Bellou, and I love you with all of my heart. Today, tomorrow, and until we meet again.
Love,
Daddy

Two Years Already

To my beautiful little boy, Lucky Bellou:
I find it very hard to imagine that two years have gone by since we said goodbye to each other . Not a single day has gone by where I have not talked to you, remembered you, cried a little, and missed you with all of my heart. I could not have imagined this day, when years would have passed without you here beside me to share my life. You have so changed my life, in ways that I never would have thought possible. Your passing two years ago has left an emptiness in our family that I cannot possibly describe to others. I have been blessed with more life to live, and it saddens me that you are not here with me as it once was. I know that you are never more than a thought or soft word away, right at the end of my fingers. Still, I miss everything about you, my beautiful little man. The pain of losing you is still fresh, still near. It's a testiment to the love that we shared that we have continued this bond of love, even today. I speak to you every morning, and every evening before I go to sleep. I think of you every time I hear a beautiful song, or enjoy the peace and tranquility of a quiet evening, or cast my eyes upon a beautiful scene of nature. But most of all, I think of you at the end of the day, at dusk, when another day is coming to an end. It is then that I am most vulnerable, when I realize again that another day has gone by, and that we are apart. I miss you, my beautiful little boy,and I miss being your daddy. May God bless you, my little boy, until we meet once again.
Love,
Daddy

Too Long A Time

Dear Lucky,
I can't believe that it has been a whole year since that warm June day we had to say our last goodbye to each other . Even though you have let us know in so many ways that you are alright, it still hurts not having you here with me. I miss you so much every day. When most people say that they think of someone every day, it is more often than not just an expression. For me, it is the truth. Not a day goes by, nor a waking hour, when I don't think of you and wish that you were still here. I miss everything about you, my beautiful little boy: the way you woke up in the morning rubbing your face, the way you "dinged" your water bowl with your nails when you wanted a treat, the way you snored at night, the way you wagged your tail, how you tucked your tail between your legs when you lay down, the look of life in your beautiful eyes, the sound of your very special, unique voice. I still cry when I think of you not being here, even though I know that you don't want daddy to be sad. I still put a plate of turkey out for you at all of the special holidays, just so that you know that you will always be a very special part of our family. I am privileged to have had the honour of being your daddy. Some day, Lucky, and I don't know when: it may be tomorrow, it may be next month, it may be sixty years from now, but one day I will wake up in the morning, and that very day we will be together again, never to part. The tears that I cry on that day will be tears of joy, not sadness, and I know that you will be the first one to greet me. If I live to be a hundred years old, I will always love your little face. I love you, Lucky Bellou.
Love,
Daddy