Watching over mommy

This will be the first 9/11 anniversary mommy will have to go through without me. To top it off, she has appointments all day, so she's not sure she can really do much to honor daddy. She and Aiki will probably go to the beach or the forest.

Next will come what would have been my 12th woofday, which is the day before mommy's birthday. Tough month for mommy, so daddy and I will have to watch over her extra special for a while.

At the Bridge

I went to the Bridge to be with my daddy last night. I'd had a very good last day. I went on errands with mommy, had my pawprint immortalized in cement for a garden stepping stone, and then to the beach. When I got home, I went to my favorite corner, where I stayed for the rest of the evening. Mommy cuddled and held and kissed me over and over. She thanked me for everything I'd given her and told me that I was loved by people all over the country (and even in other countries), most of whom had never even met me. Wow. I had venison and manicotti for dinner. My favorite vet Dr. Green and her assistant came over after dinner, then I got really, really sleepy. The last thing I remember is mommy saying that she loved me forever and that it was time for me to go be with daddy.

Mommy thanks every single pup and person here on dogster who have shown our pack an outpouring of love and support without which this whole experience would have been unbearable.

Wags and licks,

Raven

OMD! I'm Diary of the Day!

Mommy couldn't believe it when she checked her inbox and saw that I was chosen diary of the day! I am humbled by the honor. I just wish there was happier news in my diary.

It's been definitely decided that I will cross he Bridge to finally be with my daddy again tomorrow (December 16th). Mommy is literally sick with grief at the thought of losing me, but after putting all of my Paw Cancer Group posts into my diary last night, she could tell for sure that's she's making the right choice for me.

Last night was another rough night with wake-ups every few hours. I keep straining to poo, but not much comes out. Mommy doesn't want me to get to the point where everything is "broken". I've got a balance of good and bad days now, and she doesn't want me to suffer any more. She also wants to avoid any more indignity with the increasing messiness of things "back there".

Today, I get my pawprint immortalized in cement to make a stepping stone for the garden. The weather is frightful, but mommy will take me somewhere--just the 2 of us. I've got venison to eat and some new toys to play with, since mommy let Santa Paws come early to our house special for me.

It's time for my breakfast, so more later.

December 14th

I have been peeing, finally. I've also been eating ok.

Unfortunately, the ulcerations are getting much bigger. Mommy can see that the tumor is even affecting my gait. Despite having some good days, she can tell that I've gotten markedly worse in the last 2 weeks. I'll see the vet Tuesday, but mommy is pretty sure that I'll go to the Bridge before she goes on her trip on the 19th.

December 13th

Mommy thinks I may not have peed since noon yesterday.. She knows for sure that I hadn't peed as of 6am today. I may have peed this morning at 10am. It was POURING rain, so mommy left me in the vestibule while she went up for heavier rain gear. I haven't been going out without mommy, so she figured I'd stay put. When she got back downstairs, I'd already gone out and was poo'ing. So maybe I'd peed and maybe I hadn't. No way to know. Rain gear is now at the door, so I'll have only strictly supervised walkies in the yard.

Pray for pee!

December 12th

I ate really well today, but I seem restless this evening. I keep "huffing" at mommy, but I don't want out, I don't want food, I don't want water. Hmmm.

I did, however, nearly give mom and dad heart attacks. Mommy was coming home from a massage appointment and called daddy to say she'd be late. Daddy was talking to the other dogs, and mommy asked how I was. Daddy said, "She's not with you?" Mommy freaked. Daddy looked all over the house, and I wasn't there. He hung up and searched the yard (in the dark) and couldn't find me. He called mommy back to tell her that, and she almost had to pull over. He hung up to call the repairman who'd been at the house this afternoon. Then he called back to say he'd started to hike down the steep trail to the beach, and I turned up behind him! Daddy doesn't know where I had been, and I'm not tellin'.

It really scared them both, because mommy had a friend whose doggy hid when it was his time to go to the Bridge.

December 11th

I had a 3am snack after I woke mommy up to take me out to pee. A little restless last night, and I left an icky stain on the bed (no blood, just stuff from "back there"). Oh well, sheets are washable.

Mommy will try offering me a variety of tiny meals today to see what it is I want to eat now!

December 10th

As of 8pm, I've only eaten 1/2 of my breakfast. I'm in good spirits, though. It was weird this morning, though. I peed, then just a few minutes later, I peed again. Then I didn't pee any more until 7pm. I've been drinking ok, so mommy will just monitor things. She's started a "health journal" for me to keep track of everything. That way she can tell when the bad days outnumber the good. She's leaving it on the counter for the pet sitter to fill out wile she's on vacation.

December 9th

Things are stable today. Eating, drinking and eliminating fairly normally.

December 6th

I think I've adjusted to my new shaved butt status. I'm moving more comfortably and can get settled. I ate 1/2 my breakfast, so mommy will offer the rest to me after a couple hours. I've been doing better with several small meals instead of 2 big ones.

later:

Finished my breakfast (eventually) and about 2/3 of dinner! Definitely a little more chipper today. We haven't tried the new shower for my bum yet. Things are much better "back there" now that I have a nice trim.