I am a naughhty boi

Mummy discuvered that I hav bin eeting the cat food and she gawt reely mad. Sumtimes I get reely hungri and just deeside to eet the cat food coz it's right theer. I am not allowwed in the basemint eether but I go anywaez and git in trooble.

I am getting reely tyred frum all the wallkies that I git. Mummy walkks me fer at leest two hourrs each nite coz she sez that I am fat. Vet lady sez that I am not that fat but Mummy disaggries. At leest the suhmmer is heer and I git to go swiming at the beech. I don't lyke swimming too much but wen it is hawt I don't mind. My frend Rocky alwaiz jummps in the wahter and gits me wet anywaiz.

This suhmmer Mummy is taiking me to a COTTAGE. I have onli bin to a cottage once beefor and I reely lyked it. I am dead eksited.

G'bye mates I have ta go wee on a tree or sumfing.

-Shamiz O'Gravy

Chekking in

I had a reely long walk todai in the feeld it wus reely hawt. Suhmmer is coming I am reely eksited I get to see all my frenz. Mummy sez I need to lissen better coz I allwais run away and go pee on every tree. She getz reely mad wen I don't lissen it's reely funy. Mummy allso getz mad wen I lick hur in the fase in the middel of the nite espeshally wen she has to wake up errly fer skool. She callz me daft dog coz I am reely daft I think it's funy.

I am gettin' mad coz Sallydog allwais steels my dentabonez and eats em hersellf. She ez such a bitch.

I need ta go peepee g'bye

-Shamiz O'Gravy