return to top

Who's House? Schnoof's House!

Mean!

Steve took me to that place where they stick me with things. I don't like that place! I get so nervous that my fur falls out and that is SO embarrassing. Steve and the Treat Lady call it the V-E-T, and I have no idea what that means except that someone is going to poke me with something sharp and tell me how bad my teeth look. They are mean!

Since Steve took me, I decided to act nice. If Treat Lady takes me, I tend to pull on my leash and choke myself because I figure one of these days I'll get loose and run home. But Steve is too strong, so I just do what I have to do to get it all over with. The mean lady at the V-E-T looked in my ears and my nose, and took me in the back room to do the poking. She let me back into that room with Steve and after a little while, she came in and told him I had tapeworms! Moi? Tapeworms? I get a nasty little brown pill every month that is supposed to keep that from happening, but apparently one of the little buggars slipped thorough. Gross. I don't like the thought of worms in my tummy.

When Steve brought me home, he told Treat Lady that she would have to give me some medicine for my tummy, and I know what that means. It means I need to find a place to hide, because she is going to try and make me eat something that looks like a treat, but tastes really bad. The best part is that my brother, Bear, has to take the medicine too because we play in the same backyard all day. Ha ha ha!

Well, Treat Lady brought us inside for dinner and gave us our flea and tick medicine. I don't mind that because she just puts it on my neck. It makes my fur stand up back there, but at least it doesn't taste bad. When she called me into the kitchen, I prepared to run and hide, but something in there smelled so good! She showed it to me, and it was CHEESE! I love cheese! It's my favorite! So I sat down, like she taught me when she gives me a treat, and I waited my turn. Bear kept jumping on her, which is a no-no, so he got fussed at. It was hard, but I stood still until she gave me a piece. It was so yummy, but it felt funny on my tongue. Plus, Treat Lady started petting me and scratching under my chin, which was nice, but it kept me from chewing up my cheese very good. I practically had to swallow it whole! She gave both Bear and my three pieces of cheese, and never once gave me any medicine. Whew! Maybe she forgot, I don't know. After that she put us to night-night and I got Phyllis and my favorite slipper that I sometimes chew on, and snuggled up to sleep.

I hope she doesn't remember to give me that medicine!

That'll Learn Him!

Monday night when Treat Lady let us inside for dinner, I noticed that something was missing. I ate dinner, of course, because there is very little that ever deters me from that, and then I sniffed around a while. I realized when I didn't smell the Guy Who Takes Me To the Vet! He wasn't there! Well, I couldn't have that! He always scratches my head knob and lets me wipe my mouth on him, and it just didn't feel right to go to bed without that. So I follwed my nose until I smelled him out. He was in the kennel at the end of the hall where my people sleep at night. I walked softly in there and saw Guy Who Takes Me To the Vet (Heretofore I will refer to him as Steve) bundled up under a blanket, laying on top of what he calls a "bed" and he was asleep. Treat Lady hadn't called me back into the living room yet, which is odd because it makes her nervous when I get out of her sight, so I decided to see if I could get Steve to wake up and give me a few scratches. I nosed his hand, but it didn't work. He didn't wake up!

In the meantime, Treat Lady called my name and I heard her and my fat little brother coming down the hallway. I was a little afraid because about three weeks ago my brother got mad at our people and did a horrible thing on their rug. Since then, Treat Lady and Steve don't like us to be in their kennel. I thought it would be best if I walked out of the room, but I wanted Steve to scratch me so BAD! Treat Lady came in, but she wasn't mad. In fact, she climbed up on the "bed" and told me and Bear (that's my brother's name) to climb up there too. Sometimes she lets us do this if she's there to keep an eye on us. We jumped up and she started scratching. It was wonderful. However, I still wanted Steve to scratch me, so I decided to walk over and see if he was awake yet. He wasn't. How he slept through us jumping on their bed, I'll never know. Treat Lady says that my brother and I weight 90 pounds apiece (although I don't think I weigh that much, really) and that 90 pounds is a LOT. We made the bed bounce when we got on, but that didn't wake Steve up. So I confired with Bear and we decided to start walking on him. It worked on Treat Lady that one time, even though Bear made paw prints on her arm that didn't go away for a week. So I walked on him, then Bear walked on him, and then I walked on him again! It finally worked and Steve woke up and gave us some scratches. After that I was really tired, so I jumped off of the bed and Treat Lady gave us our treats and put us to bed.

I like walking on Steve.