Tales from the Crate

So I've done 2 whole obedience classes so far...and guess what. Nicole my obedience trainer put me on time out! And the worst part was that mom thought it was absolutely hilarious!!! Which worked out just fine because after that long class I came back home and successfully pooped in the neighbors back yard. On purpose of course. You know me.

Dad's on Burn/Trauma call and I miss him. Me and mom are going to watch Flavor of Love 2 tonight. I think Krazy is going to win, but I'm secretly rooting for crazy ol' New York. She's more my style. I can relate with her. When things don't go your way, WATCH OUT!!! I hope she wins this time. Last time Hoopz won and mom said it was a waste because she thought Hoopz "didn't swing that way and likes girls anyhow" or something like that. I dunno. I think Flava Flav is ugly anyway and all those girls want is to be on TV. Not that I can blame them. I'm aiming to be on Oprah. You thought Tom Cruise had a problem jumping up and down on her couches!

Like Kelis says, "I'm boss-ay!!!"

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Obedience Class

Stinks! My parents have decided to try and make me subordinate to any and all other mammals and I hate it. Last Friday was my first class at Petsmart. All we did was practice the "cradle hold" and I really hated that. You should have seen me wriggling around like a jackrabbit. I tried to knee Dad in the face for that one and jumped down. Then I tried to eat this lady's shoe. There were these two rottweiler puppies that I punked too. Then the teacher told my parents that I was "just really playful". Yeah, okay.

Chillin' like a villain,

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Long call

Hi peeps,

So Mom decided to abandon me for 24 hours while she was on call. She came back this morning and I go soooo excited to see her. Dad didn't tell her I hadn't boo booed yet so I just let it all out right by the couches. Then she gave Daddy a dirty look.

At any rate, while Mom was gone I had to harrass Dad all by myself and we all know how much he loves that (see his entry about me below). Mom says I never poot in the guest room when she is home, and she's right! That 's my special trick del dia for Daddy. You gotta save something for that special someone just so they know how you feel about them, right? He gets mad and puts me in my crate and I just laugh at him and tear up all my toys. Muahhahaha.

After I found Mom passed out on the bed she woke up and bribed Dad to take me on another run. OMG! No he didn't!!! I ran about 3 friggin' miles today!!! I tried to be like "Dude--take it easy...slow your role" and then he called me a sissy in front of strangers just cause I was slower than him. Well excuse me Mister Collegiate I Ran For Haverford So I'm Better Than You. I'll get you later Dad. Just wait until you happen to leave the guest room open again. Or the office...I got yo' guitar strings!!!

I got home and my parents diagnosed me with cerebellar ataxia. Amongst other abnormalities. I was beat, I'll admit. I couldn't even knock over the picture frames or steal their pagers from the tables. I just crawled in my crate and closed my eyes. And dreamt of Justin Timberlake.

I'm bringin' sexy back,

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My means of getting attention

So, after an action-packed evening in my crate (I managed to destroy all the toys mom and dad kept in there for me, necessitating their removal directly to the trash can) I felt like sleeping in and continuing my on-going dream of a world full of fire hydrants for me to pee on. No such luck. Mom woke me up bright and early so she could go to work on 63400...I miss her already. Well, apparently dad couldn't fall back asleep either, so we decided to go out for an easy 3 miles. As par the course, I stopped a few times to pee but just didn't feel like pooping at all. At least, not until I got back home and remembered how much fun it was it poo in the GUEST ROOM!!! So while mom is out saving lives, dad's cleaning up the flan I ate yesterday and so appropriately processed for him. Yay!

Dogs are really people with short legs in fur coats,
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Running an easy 1o with Dad on the trails

Today I went running with Dad. I dusted him!!! We live very close to Strong Memorial Hospital, where he works, so we ran down all the blocks. I had a blast. I only had to stop to poop twice which is a miracle let me tell you because Dad has taken this undue habit of feeding me FLAN in my Kong which Mami isn't too amused about. I'm only 15 weeks old now but Dad is thinking about (hopefully) taking me on runs with him if he decides to take up running again. He used to run big-time for Haverford College. I'm looking forward to it. We have these two giant Golden Retrievers in the 'hood that think they're the shiznit and I wanna show off too.

Bow wow wow yippie yo yippie yay,

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