Dogster

return to top

Tasmanian Devil

Eeeeeewwww! I Got Some Dead Lady's Eyes!!!!

My Mommy and my GrandMommy keep singing me a song that says "He's got Bette Davis eyes." They say it's because I have 'Googly Eyes', whatever that means. Well, I just heard them talking about it, and I found out that this Bette Davis lady is some DEAD LADY, and OMD! I must have her eyes!!!!!

How did this happen?????

And it gets even worse! They keep saying that I have somebody named Joan Crawford's eyebrows too!!!

Am I some kind of Frankendog or something?

I just don't know what to do! Something terrible must have happened to me when I was a puppy. Maybe it was when I went on that thing that sent me from my breeder Mommy to my Furever Mommy. They said it was called an 'airplane', but I don't know what that means. I just know I was bornded, and I lived for a while with that Mommy, and then she drove me in her car to this really big scary place and put me in my crate and cried and handed me over to some strange men. They put me in this big noisy machine, and then they took me back out and I was in a different big noisy place, and then I met my new Mommy for the first time. Maybe that big noisy machine did something to me. Or maybe it was those strange men.

Or, maybe...maybe it was that time at the vet-doctor-mans. He did something to me. I fell asleep and when I woke up I felt really funny and my mouth hurt and all my baby teeth were gone and I felt terrible for days. Mommy was really worried about me and said something to GrandMommy about me "having a bad reaction to the 'anustheeseah'", whatever that is. Maybe they replaced my eyes!!! I never did like that vet-doctor-man! He smelled funny.

So now I'm stuck with Bette Davis' eyes!!! I don't like this at all.

At least I can see OK with them, so I'm barkful to Bette for that!

I'm Naked!!!

I had a terrible day yesterday. My day started out just fine. We got up in the morning and my Mommy took me outside to go potty. I was playing it the bushes at the back of the yard and I was getting wet from the water on the bushes when all of a sudden my Mommy screamed something about the yard guy spraying poison on the weeds and why didn't he tell her, then she scooped me up real fast and ran into the house with me. My Granma took the dishes out of the sink and they put me into the sink and squirted lots of water into my face. I was choking and couldn't breath or see. I was very upset! Then Mommy sprayed my body down with lots of water and she put stuff on me that got all foamy and slippery and she rubbed that all over me then washed it off again. Why did she bother to put it on me if she was going to wash it all off again? Then she did it again with some pink slimy stuff that smelled like flowers. She said these things were called 'shampoo and conditioner'. She kept telling me what a good boy I was, but if I was such a good boy why was she doing this to me?

Then she wrapped me in a big towel and hugged me and rubbed me. When she put me down I shook and shook but I couldn't get dry. I asked to go out and when I got out I rolled around and around in the grass and that dried me off real good. When Mommy picked me up to bring me in, she got very upset and said that rolling in the grass made my coat 'mat', whatever that means. So then she put me in the sink AGAIN! She poured that slimy pink 'conditioner' all over me again and rinsed it off, then tried to brush out my 'mats'. She got very upset because they wouldn't come out.

Then things got really bad. She called the groomer lady. The groomer lady is really nice, but I don't like what she does to me. Mommy and Granma took me in the car to the groomer lady's house and she put me in the sink and washed me again!!!!! Then she took her air machine and made it blow air on me. I hate that! Then she took this thing I've never seen before that buzzed all the time. When she touched it to me, it ate my hair. She rubbed this buzzing thing all over me and it ate all of my hair! Now I'm naked.

When Mommy and Granma came back to the groomer lady's house to get me, they laughed at me! They said I looked silly and I looked really small without my coat. What coat? I wasn't wearing my coat. They haven't put my coat on me since the snow went away. I don't understand them sometimes.

I kind of like not having all my hair. It's been really hot lately, and it's a lot cooler without it. Plus my poop doesn't stick to my butt now. And I can see my winkie! It looks really big without all the hair around it. Makes me feel like a real big boy! Mommy and Granma keep laughing at me though. I don't like that. Mommy says I look like a 'chinese crested dog', whatever that is.

It was a really tough day yesterday and I was really tired after all that. Three baths in one day. All because I played in the bushes! I still don't what I did wrong. People are sure strange sometimes.

I'm So Humiliated

I told my Mommy not to post this because it's so embarrassing, but she's doing it anyway. Gggrrrrr.

The other day Mommy took me to Auntie Joanie's house for a visit and I got beat up by one of her cats.

I was playing with my friend Buffy, who is my friend the kitten at Auntie Joanie's house. We were having a good time rolling around on the floor playing. All of a sudden Buffy's big brother Rusty got really mad at me and attacked me. Buffy is the same size as me, but Rusty is a lot bigger than me so I got really scared! He chased me across the house jumping on me and I screamed for my Mommy, who rushed over to rescue me. Mommy chased Rusty away and I cried for her and she picked me up and cuddled me until I calmed down. I didn't get hurt but I was sure scared! Mommy and Auntie said that Rusty probably did that because he thought I was hurting Buffy and wanted to protect him. He tried to attack me again later but Mommy stopped him.

I was so mad at Rusty! Next time we go over there I'm going to have Mommy bring my big sister Chloe with us! Chloe will teach Rusty a lesson! Ha!

Taz