Farewell, My Subjects

My eyes are growing weary and my time with you is fading fast. I have been happy this last 7 years being Queen in the little stone castle on the mountain. But all good things must come to an end. It is time for me to find my new kingdom at the Rainbow Bridge. I have missed my faithful Bones. But I have been blessed with a baby all for me when Bestoink Dooley came to court. All those years I produced offspring only to have them taken away from me. Then “the mom” took me from my prison and brought me to this castle and made me Queen. And 3 years ago Bestoink came to be my own little one, so I could groom and fuss over him. It has been enough. And now I am tired and am ready to lie down and rest. I shall miss “the mom” because she has loved me. I shall even miss Jingles! I thank you all for your loyalty. When you come to the Bridge, our kingdom will be waiting for you and we shall all feast royally every day and have all the bones we want to chew on! That is my last royal decree. I would have liked to have been Dog Of The Week but I guess that title was not for me in this life. You can’t have it all…but I surely came close! Farewell…remember me.

How rude!

JoJo actually snapped at me last night! The very idea! I don't know what got into him to be such a churl! Good thing I wasn't in a very royal mood or it would have been off with his head!

Happy Royal Birthday to Me!

Today is my 13th birthday! My mom-in-waiing gave me a royal celebration...a peanut butter bone shaped cake on a silver platter! We were very pleased! I let my faithful subjects...Bones, Bestoink, JoJo and our foster baby Callie attend me. Let them eat cake! Ah, it's nice to be queen!

And yesterday I was taken to inspect the troops at the annual Scottie Picnic. It's a good idea to mingle with the commoners from time to time so that one does not lose the common touch. A queen must know what the little people are like and what makes them happy. I ran loose all day just like Audrey Hepburn did as the princess in Roman Holiday! Ah...to smash a guitar on a deserving noggin...what fun that would be! But I got to bark a lot! A couple of churls were so ill-mannered as to get into an altercation but the mom-in-waiting helped break it up before someone was injured or before I would have had to pass judgement. The mom couldn't find her keys when time came to leave and my royal exit got all messed up. But she found them under a box that was to be stashed in the car trunk. She's getting quite careless and I don't know what is to be done! But if I put her out to pasture, who will cater to my every need?!

She's done it again!

Apparently I'm some sort of marvel! 2 weeks before Christmas, something happened during the night. I couldn't use my back left leg when I got up...it hurt so much! And I didn't feel very well. Turns out I had a stroke! Imagine! I was put through all kinds of indignities...left to swim for it in a bathtub full of water even! My every intimate duty was microscopically scrutinized! I thought the mom was being very mean when she made me walk knowing how badly I felt. But...I guess there was method to her madness! Because now I am totally recovered and feel much better! And I'm getting carrots now for my royal treats! I never knew that peasant food was so tasty!

BUSTED!!!

Oh, the shame of it!!! Caught! En flagrante dilecto! What a blow to my dignity to be exposed as a closet poop eater! I guess now I'll have to join PEA (Poop Eaters Anonymous)! There I was (having cleverly sneaked off into the cat's domain in the basement) happily muching away when the Mom strides in..."Ah ha! There you are!" I had clumping litter all over my nose. She laid hands upon my person! Humpf! And my secret supply of catbox candy is now off limits. Who does she think she is anyway...the boss?!!! I mean, doesn't everybody have a guilty pleasure?! As if she doesn't...why...I've seen her....well, perhaps I'm in deep enough for now!

Heavens to Mergatroid!

We could have all been murdered in our sleep...our naps, rather! A snake breached security in the palace and was slithering around in the hall downstairs when Mom encountered the intruder! Intruder alert! Intruder alert! The fellows next door proved non-stout of heart...bad show, I say! Mom to the rescue...she pinched the snake with the odiferous long handled mchanism for disposing of unmentionables...a pooper scooper I believe it's called....and forced it protesting outside disposing of it on an adjoining property. I think this calls for a medal for bravery! Who was on duty? Off with his head!

Grumble...Grumble!`

She laid hands upon my person!!! Something must be done! When I wish to stay in bed, I should be obeyed. I must say, though, the tummy rub that comes with being rousted out of a warm bed on a chilly morning is nothing to complain about! But I make sure and drag as slowly as I can to the back door before being shoved out into the cold. Well, 63 degrees isn't really all that cold...especially since my forebears came from nearly arctic conditions up in the Highlands. But it's not cozy like my bed...mmmm....gonna turn around when she's not looking and wander back to snooze a bit more. Mmmm, here's a nice spot...lemme just stretch out here and...ahhhhh...snooooooooze...

Storms

Oh no, here it comes...Hurricane Ivan, or what's left of it! That means thunder and here I am stuck outside till Mom gets home. She's gonna be sorry...I'm going to be very aloof and hard to please! I don't care that the storm isn't really hitting till tonight...just being out here with the rain is enough...we are not amused! But I do have a very nice deck and awning and a neat old mini-trampoline for my throne. And my prime minister, Bones and my new footman, Angus, are both here to protect me. Still...the indignity of it! I think I'm going to be picky about supper tonight...that should do it! And I haven't had a tummy rub in 3 nights. What's the matter with Mom...you just can't get good help anymore!