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Nicknames: Miss Gussie, Finkie, Stinky Finkie, Finkie Poo, Gus, Gussie Mae, Jussie, Stink Pottle, Pink Throttle, Dink Bottle, Sweetie Pie, You Little #@*&@!
Doggie Dynamics:
Energy
sleepy
energetic
Intelligence
silly
genius
Friendliness
aggressive
affectionate
Playfulness
not playful
very playful
Disposition
anxious
calm
Likes: Chewing, gnawing, munching, crunching, mouthing, nipping, biting (play), masticating, chomping, kissing, running, jumping, shoulder and neck massages, people, children, other dogs, sitting in her mommy's lap, stealing tissue, dryer sheets, socks
Pet-Peeves: Nail clipping, being ignored, sound of the lawnmower, romantic advances from her granny's Wire Fox Terrier Winston
Favorite Toy: Cloth frisbee, any plush toy she can tear up, her granny's Wire Fox Terrier Winston's ears
Favorite Food: Cesar, beef, eggs, asparagus (Yep, it's true -- maybe because it has her name, "Gus," at the end of it?), bacon, Kleenex, toilet paper, poop (whe she was a puppy)
Favorite Walk: Dog park
Best Tricks: Sitting, laying, shaking hands, giving kisses on request, waving, crawling, tippytoeing on hind legs, high fives, bowing, chasing her tail
Arrival Story: A rather promiscuous Yorkshire Terrier that belonged to the mother of a friend of mine mated with the Rat Terrier down the street, and Gussie was born and given to me. Her name comes from the name of a character in the "Jeeves" books by P.G. Wodehouse.
Bio: About Gussie's ears: The picture on her page with one ear up and one folded was taken when she was a puppy. When she first came to live with her permanent mom, both ears folded. Then, for a week or so, one stood up (see cute photo). Now, both big, beautiful ears stand up, as you can see in the other photos. She also sprouted little wisps of hair on her face and neck, and she grew what every little girl needs -- a beard!
Forums Motto: I'm a terrier. What's your excuse??!!!!
The Groups I'm In: "DOGSTERHOLICS", "The Stub Club" for Dogs with Stubby Tails!, ★PLANET PAWLLYWOOD★, *~*JoyRiders*~*, AnimaLimpix 2008, A-1 Terriers, D.A.M.N! - Dogs Against Maternal Neurosis!, Harmony's Health Hut, HOPE, Lets Paw-tae!, President Isabel's Animal Abuse Commission, Soul Kitchen- Yum!, Squeaky & Fuzzy, Tennessee Terriers, The Cheesecakes, The Poop Scoop, Unusual Beauty, Wigglebutts are sooooooooo cute!!!
The Last Forum I Posted In: M. Vick has been reinstated to the NFL
Most recent bitch-bark went to: Maggie, the Dachshund puppy from next door. Hey, I'm just trying to teach her her place in the universe (relative to me, of course).
Covert group memberships: Agent #028 in Dogs for the Ethical Treatment of Humans; official role: Newt fancier and personal publicist to the Field Mistress of the elite Sight Hound Corps, Seva
Method of pouting as mom leaves for work: Giving my mommy a pathetic, pitiful, tiny little kiss on her nose when she was about to leave -- normally I give her such a big, slobbery lick that drool drips from her nostrils!
Most recent object stolen: Pony-tail holder. I sat there with it hanging out of my mouth until Mommy noticed. I let her have it without running off, though. Man, I'm mellowing!
The evil, evil cyber squirrel has re-emerged!!! I thought for sure it would be too scared to come back after I cuffed it's wrist with mommies mini-hoop earrings, tied it to a pingpong paddle and waterboarded it with an eye-dropper! ... uh, I mean ... nevermind ... I DO NOT TORTURE, AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF FOR ASKING ME IF I DO!!!
I shall stay on the lookout for this cyber nut-chomping, bushy-tail having, tree-climbing rodent from heck, and woe be unto him/her if he/she messes with the Fink!!!!
In my last entry, you can read about how the vet abused my bunghole and how insensitive my mudder was to my plight.
Butt the O-ring of fortune is always turning, and a few days after my yearly vet violation, Finkmom got what she deserved!
I got a cling-on. For those of you unfamiliar with this medical term, a cling-on is formed when I have swallowed a strand of Finkmom’s long hair, and one of my smaller turds gets caught in the hair and dangles from said hair as the hair hangs out my bunghole. It makes me look kind of like a pull-string doll, only I don’t play a tune or talk when it’s pulled out. (Perhaps Finkmom should teach me to do something while she’s pulling those things out of my rectum. I could go on Letterman’s “Stupid Pet Tricks!” Hmm … )
Cling-ons are a fact of life when a doggie lives with a longish-haired human. I am not embarrASSed by the cling-ons. Finkmom now wonders if this is how the Klingons from Star Trek got their names. After all, they, too, have long hair; however, I’m not prepared to watch an episode featuring Lt. Cmdr. Worf sitting on the throne. But I digress.
The other night, a turd about the size of a lima bean was stuck in a strand of hair and hanging out my vent, but Finkmom couldn't see it because it was dark. And after I came in, she couldn't smell it when I got in her lap because her allergies are bad and she smells awful. I mean “awfully.” She can’t smell too good.
Anyhoo, by the time she realized there was a poo poo ball hanging out my arse, I had rubbed it all over her clothes! It didn’t actually come off on her clothes where she could see it, but she knew my bucket had rubbed against her shirt as I sat down on her lap. So she had to pull the turd-on-a-hair out and change her clothes!!!
Did I do this on purpose? YOU CAN’T PROVE A THING, FINKMOM!!! BWAAHAAHAAHAAHAA!!!
FINKMOM: Gussie, are you still mad?
FINKIE: Grrrr.
FINKMOM: Look, sweetie, I know you hate your yearly checkup at the vet’s …
FINKIE: You got that right!!!
FINKMOM: But we have to get your shots to protect your health …
FINKIE: Yeah, yeah, shots. Who cares about the shots??? I care about the perv vet messing with my arse!!!
FINKMOM: I know it’s unpleasant, but your anal glands have to be expressed or you will get an infection in them like you did when you were a puppy.
FINKIE: Yeah, but this time it wasn’t just my glands, it was a plastic doodoo doohickey that they TWISTED up my rump to collect a sample of my poop!!!
FINKMOM: That’s to make sure you don’t have any parasites.
FINKIE: I don’t know nuthin’ ‘bout no Paris ice. I don’t speak French!
FINKMOM: Well, it’s all over with now …
FINKIE: Yeah, maybe for you, but what about my bunghole???
FINKMOM: What about it?
FINKIE: That perv woman’s plastic sticks and rubber-gloved fingers sprained it!!!
FINKMOM: Now, Gussie, I kinda doubt that. You didn’t show any signs of being in pain, and everything looks … uh… normal back there …
FINKIE: It’s sprained, I tell you! Maybe even broken! I’m going to have to get some sort of cast and sling to put on it …
FINKMOM: I don’t’ think such a thing exists.
FINKIE: Yun-huh it does! Why else do I hear humans talk about people who are in trouble having their “arses in a sling”?
FINKMOM: That’s just a figure of speech.
FINKIE: Well, I need some sort of bunghole splint until I recover. I’m probably going to become incompetent and you’ll have to clean up poop off the carpet …
FINKMOM: Huh? Incompetent … oh, you mean “incontinent.”
FINKIE: That’s dumb. We’re always in a continent unless we take an ocean cruise …
FINKMOM: Er … nevermind.
FINKIE: I WANT AN O-RING SPLINT! ATTEND TO MY NEEDS, WOMAN!!!
FINKMOM: But even if I could fashion some sort of brace, it surely would interfere with your ability to poop, and you know how important pooping is to you.
FINKIE: Well, maybe. How ‘bout a Band-aid?
FINKMOM: I think you will encounter the same dookie-interference problem with that.
FINKIE: Well, you could kiss it and make it better!
FINKMOM: Uh … how about a doggie treat instead …
FINKIE: Make it a double and I’m in.
FINKMOM: You got it, Gussie Poods!
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