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February 4th 2015 3:53 am
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Today, today we met Sammy. She was eating milo ice cream. A few days ago, she was drinking milo. We decided that's why she's so stout. And her future looks bleak. Nevertheless, we extracted 4 kisses from her, coz she makes us very happy. She didn't share the ice cream.

And we heard from Nom yen's mummy that supernut is being bullied in school and at the tuition centre. Mummy wanted to leave him to defend himself coz she can't look after him forever, but he's too polite to fight back.

We did say he's such a polite boy.



February 3rd 2015 7:03 am
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Fomfomfom cut my hair yesterday and today. She told everyone that I was very difficult that's why she couldn't cut my hair properly. That's just her excuse because it's so ratty this time even I feel embarrassed for her. But it's okay. It's only hair. It will grow out in two days and no one will know I have a bald patch above my right eye.



February 2nd 2015 7:23 am
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We were wondering about the empty snail shells we see lying around. Where did the snails go, ah bee wondered aloud. Her boyfriend said, eaten by birds, he supposed.

When ah bee recounted this conversation to fomfomfom, it was like an earthquake. Of course, fomfomfom exclaimed. Why didn't I think of that, she marveled. What perfect sense.

And we learnt fomfomfom thought the snails had gathered up their skirts and moved houses whenever the fancy took them, seeing there were so many empty houses around.

I guess it's not entirely implausible.


Ah ma's purple thumb

February 1st 2015 6:54 am
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So that day ah ma bought many pots of flowers. On their way back, two branches of orchids snapped but they didnt completely break off. We told ah ma we should just snap them off coz we don't see the point in leaving them hanging.

Ah ma told us not to worry; she knows what to do.

Yesterday we went out and saw that she scotch taped the branches back.

We thought her gardening methods are so unorthodox but what do we know right.



January 31st 2015 3:43 am
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I honked twice and ah bee immediately brought me downstairs. I didn't honk anymore after that and everyone was happy. Only it was 330 and we decided to make it my evening walk. It was kinda hot. We went home at 610 and I told ah ma they were trying to starve me. Ah ma agreed.

Coffee's mother asked ah bee if she'd grown since she last saw us. Fomfomfom said we've all grown fatter but no one's grown taller.

I guess she didn't know ah bee is 30, not 12.



January 30th 2015 7:29 am
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Cha disappeared this morning with her luggage.I didn't want to be a stowaway because I heard ah ma was going to buy me suckling pig.

Only she didn't. Turns out the suckling pig stall has gone out of business. I got some roasted meat instead. It was not bad. They also came back with 9 pots of flowers. Ah ma says she wants to buy more next week. Luckily our balcony is big.

They thought I might be feeling a little unwell so they decided to test me with ah bee's smelly towel. She has 3 smelly towels that she keeps on her bed. I think they must be like 20 years old. There's one I tore years ago in the shape of a cross. She gave me another one to play with just now and I went at it. There were little pieces of cloth on the floor after I was done. Ah bee says it's okay at least now we know she's feeling alright. I think she's putting on a brave front but I don't feel bad. She's much too old to have security anythings anyway.

I was doing her a favour.


Currencies and commodities

January 29th 2015 5:13 am
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Turns out fomfomfom was exaggerating when she said the money in my shoebox is worthless; it's only gone down about 1% against the greenback. Still I think it's too risky holding all this fiat money so I'm going to change it for something real, like commodities.

I told ah ma to take all the money in my shoebox and buy suckling pig with it. Then I will put all the pig in my stomach.

Can't get more real than that.


Up in smoke

January 28th 2015 5:39 am
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Today they told me that the Singapore government has depreciated our currency and that my shoebox is now worthless.

I'm very sad.



January 27th 2015 6:43 am
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The banana man's bird landed on fomfomfom's shoulder today. Fomfomfom jumped up in fright and huffed and puffed. How could that dumb bird mistake her for a 50 year old man who has gone to seed.

Then Sammy was upset and refused to kiss ah bee. We don't know what got her so sad.

I was the saddest of all coz it was my shower day and I get liver after my bath. But fomfomfom put my plate on top of a t shirt and the wind blew and the t shirt went into my plate and drank all my liver soup. By the time I came out of the bathroom, all the soup was gone.

Now the t shirt must get a bath.


My bench

January 26th 2015 6:28 am
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There's this woman who has been sitting at my bench at the BBQ pit in the evenings. She sits there with a can of coffee and a book and chain smokes like there's no tomorrow. I haven't been able to sit at my spot for a few times now because of her. But fomfomfom says she's the literary sort and so we can give her a little leeway and forgive her.

Well I can't read and I don't know what fomfomfom is insinuating but I would like my spot back please.

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