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Be like Xp

January 17th 2016 6:49 am
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This is Xp.

Xp does not have a food bowl because she makes everyone hand-feed her.

Xp is smart.

Be like Xp.



January 16th 2016 3:52 am
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Ah ma's favoured political party lost at the taiwan polls. She's going to be sad for the next 4 years. That's life.

Boi boi is learning how to fight for food and we hear that he told another mynah "1, 2, 3, 4" and then snatched its food. The strategy is obviously confuse and conquer.

He's a bit fat, we think.


BBC earth

January 15th 2016 3:43 am
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We saw on TV just now that a farmed chicken today takes only half the time to reach twice the size of a chicken in the 1950s. They pondered the information over their chicken wing dinner.

We also watched a wolf take down a bison and they exclaimed, "Look how easy you have it, xp!"

I told them to keep rubbing my belly.



January 14th 2016 4:36 am
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Today I honked again. So they brought me out and I got another 5 minute walk. But we don't know what's causing it so cha washed her air con filter and we'll see.

Ah bee went out and got accosted by a young guy who tried to sell her flags. But he said the minimum donation was $10 and ah bee was so offended that she gave him the third degree and got it out of him that he gets 20% of all the donations he gets.

How innovative. Someone call the police.


Random patterns

January 13th 2016 1:53 am
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I used to get very suspicious if they say they are bringing me down and fomfomfom doesn't go into the toilet to change her shorts. It's usually a ruse to carry me into the toilet to cut my hair or empty my anal secs. But recently ah bee has been bringing me down earlier without fomfomfom and I would let her carry me even if fomfomfom doesn't get changed. They admiringly said I'm very good at pattern recognition. But of course. In my world, two sparrows make a spring.

But I cannot see any pattern in the names of the Malteses; we found out today their names are Jack and Tutu.



January 12th 2016 5:12 am
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Today is ah bee's 21st birthday. I hear she has been celebrating her 21st for 11 years now. Happy birthday!

There was cake and ice cream but no one offered me any. And ah bee decided my name is baby dried anchovy for the next few days.

It was hae bee hiam yesterday.



January 11th 2016 5:33 am
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Taiwan goes to the polls this saturday and ah ma is getting excited. Her tv is always switched on and she's reading news on her devices all day. I think they should give her a vote already.

I don't understand politics but fomfomfom tells me it's dirty and the people are ugly.

Wait I always thought the world belonged to the beautiful?



January 10th 2016 3:54 am
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Ah bee went to a concert last night and I guess she really enjoyed it coz she spent the whole afternoon telling me about it. I felt like I sat through the entire concert myself.

I'm pooped.



January 9th 2016 1:46 am
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My poopoo is starting to look normal again and everyone is pleased. Because, and I've always been saying this, good movement is very important. Ah bee had prune juice the other day and for three days now, she's been shitting three times a day. Like the gift that keeps giving, she says.

You should try it sometime.


I'm still a baby

January 8th 2016 3:23 am
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Just now an obviously new resident said to her baby girl, look at the doggie. She's a baby, just like you!

Then she turned to fomfomfom and said, how old is she?

Of course we told her with great aplomb that I'm 12 years old.

She said, oh dear.

Yes, dear.

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