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Cha keeps calling me Fluffy Ping

May 9th 2008 8:16 am
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Let me address my kibble issue. It's not half bad, you know, the kibble is. But it pales, oh how it pales in comparison with my diet of the past. The past had meat, fruits and all sorts of delicacies. I could weep just thinking about it, but there's light at the end of the 6-week-long tunnel so I merely shed a solitary tear. So it's been 2 weeks into my 6-week kibble diet and I'm crawling the walls already. Today cha announced that I'm to eat nothing but kibble for the rest of my life coz fomfomfom mentioned her friend has a 16 year old miserable dog that eats nothing but kibble. I am to live to 25, cha informs me. So I threatened to kill myself. Fomfomfom says I am too dramatic. So I wept. Dabbing my eyes constantly with my girl scout kerchief I sat in a corner and wept.

Until cha and fomfomfom brought me to the gardens. Just when I was a little cheered up, I found myself back at home and in a bathtub. It was bathing day and when the ordeal was over, I decided to ban everyone who hadn't had a bath from coming near me. I find them smelly.

And in the evening ah bee's voice came from this box and I couldn't find ah bee so I decided I must forget about her. It's been 2 days since I last saw her and I can't have any more unhappiness in my life.

And then cha starts cooing at me and calling me fluffy ping.

 

Ah bee where art thou?

May 8th 2008 8:58 am
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Ah ma was lazy this morning and slept in and then watched tv and refused wilfully to go marketing. So too did I sleep in and woke up only at 10am. Then ah ma brought me to the garden to watch passersby and catch lizards. And after all that we've accomplished, we realised, with much disdain, that fomfomfom hasn't woken up yet.

Suddenly, I remembered the cat. The cat! Last night it was all mewing and flashing eyes. I sought it out, and ah ma said, let her have cat. Upon which I was presented with said cat, flashing eyes and all. I shouted at it but it wasn't cowed so I sniffed its backside to see what its weakness is. And ah ma said to remove the cat so that I won't have nightmares and chatter in my sleep later. I must speak to ah ma tomorrow to clarify that I'm not scared of the stupid cat. And stiffly rebuke cha for saying it looks like me, what with a white tail tip and black fur. She even suggested painting the cat's head with a strip of white so that it may better look like me. The audacity.

In the evening I realised I haven't seen ah bee all day so I went into her room to look for her but she wasn't there.

I am going to sleep now and I still haven't found ah bee.

 

Evil takes all forms

May 7th 2008 8:53 am
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Ah ma is home! Of course she lost all her money, do you even have to ask? She didn’t come home empty-handed though; she had with her a little black cat which moves and purrs. And it has got green eyes which flashes while it moves. It’s evil that thing. I tried telling them that but no one would listen to me. They were busy laughing at me trying to subdue that evil thing with the flashing green eyes. Right now I’ve managed to get it to sit motionless on the coffee table. I need to devise a plan to get rid of it. And quick.

 

Quarantine Cha!

May 6th 2008 9:59 am
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I can’t help but worry about Cha. I think she is a little senile. Fomfomfom told her to bring my kibble up and she came up with a packet of sunflower seeds instead. There was something else she did that was a little worrying but I forgot.

OMG. Senility is contagious.

 

Ah ma zhai na li?

May 5th 2008 9:30 am
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I couldn’t find Ah ma when I woke up this morning. She had sneakily snuck off to Genting again. Incorrigible chicken porridge. Ah bee woke up to say byebye to her but she said, “SHHHHHH” and pointed to my door. Sneaky. You know what the ancient Chinese says- bright people don’t do no dark things. Ah ma is not very bright. *giggles*

 

Have you heard about the seal and the penguin?

May 4th 2008 9:57 am
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That is one sorry seal man. And poor penguin. It needs a shrink.

On an entirely different note, I hate Sundays.

 

Up up and away

May 3rd 2008 8:49 am
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The price of rice has gone up again. It used to cost about 20 bucks per 10kilos but it is now 27 bucks. Oh my goodness, that’s like a 30% increase if you think about it. That’s really scary. I remember when it was $17. I wonder if it would break 30 soon. Rice is not the only expensive thing; oil too. I’m talking about cooking oil here. Fomfomfom says it used to be like 5 odd dollars but it’s risen to nearly 8 or so. That’s even scarier. We will all have to boil our food very soon. That doesn’t concern me actually. Since I’m only eating kibble now. I don’t even want to talk about it. It maddens me.

 

Dor-zhai dor-zhai where art thou?

May 2nd 2008 11:13 am
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Wernie came twice today. She and Fomfomfom, they were due to meet some ex-colleagues for lunch but because they are stingy, they went in one car. I like having Wernie over. I can always smell Belle and Rusty on her. I haven’t seen Rusty in years; I still remember him and his watermelon stummy. I think he probably lost the watermelon stummy together with his dor-zhai.

We met Chipchip and Melmel in the gardens today after I pooped. Melmel was sniffing my backside as usual. After a few sniffs, he opened his mouth and licked my backside with that huge tongue of his. Everyone was horrified especially Fomfomfom and Cha who knew that I had just pooped. *giggles* But no one said it out loud though; we didn’t want to embarrass him. *giggles*

 

Labour day

May 1st 2008 7:50 am
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The gardens is always exceptionally busy on public holidays. We met 6 dogs the moment we got out of the car. I knew it was going to be a good day.

And it was. We met a maomao today. I’ve been searching for this elusive maomao for a long time now. Actually I am not sure if this one is the one I saw the other time but really who cares. Maomaos are fungible. Anyway, so we saw the maomao and the maomao saw us. Ah bee said hello to it and it started walking towards us. So Ah bee picked me up. No, I’m not afraid of that maomao. I can certainly take care of myself but you know how protective mothers are. Anyway, it was following us and for a while they were wondering if it would follow us home. Luckily it didn’t. We have no room for a maomao in this house. Not when I am head of the household.

 

Hungweeeee

April 30th 2008 9:06 am
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We didn’t walk around the pond today, like we usually do. Fomfomfom took one look and decided that it was way too hot. So we hung around my favourite plants. And who knew that the shade provided by the creaky tree would be so useful. The creaky tree is huge and its shadow, huger. We played catching there on the field coz we had time to kill. Ah bee started running away from me and I couldn’t resist chasing her. It was really fun. Fomfomfom says we should do it again, whenever there aren’t anyone on the field. Maybe we can bring her balls along and try to play fetch, she says. The operative word being “try” of course.

I got angry with Ah bee just now because she refused to give me some of her dinner. I’m so sick of this diet thingy. Yesterday, I tried to get a little of that chicken wings Ah ma fried but no one would give me any. I only found some crumbs on the floor. They tried to stop me from eating those but finders keepers I say. Two months. It hasn’t even been a week yet. Oh my goodness, yes it hasn’t even been a week yet.

I feel faint.

 
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