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Lost innocence

July 28th 2008 7:33 am
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I met a shih tzu on my afternoon walk today. At least I think she was a shih tzu. And a she. Anyway, I thought she looked rather cute so I approached her to say hi. I hadn't even taken 2 steps when she saw me and went, "Ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak ngyak!"

It was a real rapid delivery, high pitched and all round rather silly. She must be a puppy. So I decided to show her what's what, and I opened my mouth and gave her a sonorous "woah woah woah!" Pity fomfomfom didn't let me approach her further. Her maid decided to remove her by force and carried her away, all the while still yipping ngyak ngyak ngyak.

Then we met cha who had just returned. She had heard the entire exchange, but didn't witness the scene. She thought a cat was screaming at me. I told her that shih tzu was so silly it sounds like a cat.

At night cha was showing fomfomfom and ah ma my childhood photos, and they started reminiscing about when I was a few weeks old. And I got more lovin' from them coz I was so cute then. Such innocence, cha said.

As long as it gets me more rubbin' on that belly, whatever.

 

Ah bee has to change her resume

July 27th 2008 8:26 am
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I set a new record for my afternoon walk. It was a whole 80 minutes. I spent one hour sniffing at drains. Fomfomfom wondered whether there was some substance in the drains that was making me high. So she dragged me off for some fresh air. It was floatin'. Giggles.

Ah ma was sorting out her stuff and came up with a letter from the government. It was dated 23 years ago and was a reminder for her to register ah bee's birth. I understand the feeling of being an illegal. Poor ah bee. So she has a criminal record.

I was an illegal for quite a while too. It was only until last year that my mamas bothered to get me registered with the government. Now I can shout from rooftops that I am a singapore citizen.

Strut.

 

Such wit

July 26th 2008 8:14 am
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I think I've found my champion snail in the making. We found it near the BBQ pit and I knew it was the one the moment I sat my big beautiful eyes on it. For starters, it's tiny. So we know it's not set in its ways yet. And tiny is good because it's more likely to be fast. I don't want a clumsy snail. So I recruited the snail and told it that training will start on Monday at 8a.m at the same place. I can't wait.

Ah bee and Fomfomfom went to play ping pong after walking me. Ah bee declared that they are both ready for the national team. Fomfomfom says that it's no good recommending themselves for the team and so I volunteered to be their manager. I will put on my suit and carry my briefcase. Then I will go to the coach for the national team and I will knock on his door.

I will say, "Knock knock!" and he will ask, "Who's there?".

"Ping."

"Ping who?"

"Ping Pong!"

I am so clever.

 

Klong Klong!

July 25th 2008 9:45 am
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Ah ma says she wants to klong klong me. I'm not sure what that means; it sounds like the thunder. But I don't think it's got anything to do with thunder. Fomfomfom says if they klong me, there would be three more of me. And then the three of me would drive me crazy.

I think they are the crazy ones.

The world is not ready for more Xiaopings.

 

Trousseau trouble

July 24th 2008 7:39 am
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Today fomfomfom brought me down for my afternoon walk and I found lots of interesting tidbits on the ground. I tried to eat some of them but fomfomfom gouged them out of my mouth each time. I shrugged my shoulders and walked on. There's plenty of them tidbits all over the place, I don't mind. But after I tried to eat stuff off the ground for the nth time, fomfomfom said we're going home. Now that's a different kettle of fish altogether. I bit her.

So I bought myself some time and we carried on walking. Then an irresistible piece of tidbit called my name, "Ping...! Ping...!" and we repeated the script and I tried to bite fomfomfom a second time. Saved by her reflexes, she tricked me into the lift and I had me a bath.

Cha heard of me biting fomfomfom and kept scolding me so I decided to confiscate her trousseau, all of it. I confiscated all my mama's trousseau earlier in the day and promised to give them $130 out of it each. Now Cha is getting zilch.

At night I found a toothpick in the house and I ate it. Cha returned with Mcnuggets and fomfomfom said since Iwas full from eating toothpicks, I shall have none. Cha was afraid the toothpick would poke a hole in my stummy so she gave me two nuggets. Now Cha will get $130 and fomfomfom will get zilch.

 

3 things that happened today

July 23rd 2008 8:59 am
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1. I walked for one hour and 15 minutes today in the afternoon. I could have gone on for longer had fomfomfom not tricked me into the lift.

2. I picked a twig today to train my snail with. I haven't picked the snail though. There wasn't much of a choice today, I shall observe for a few more days before making my choice. Afterall, it is an important matter, one mustn't be hasty, such is the wisdom of a chinese proverb. I must think 3 times before making a decision. And after I have made a decision, I shall have fomfomfom drill holes in the snail's shell so I can poke him even if he tries to hide. Confucius says, you can run but you cannot hide. At the end of my training, that shall be exactly what my snail will be able to do. He shall run his way to the annual snail championship.

3. Ah ma came back from her marketing. Somehow, she managed to lose money in the market and not find any back after 3 days. It is not the first time so I shall cease my comments.

 

Coach Ping

July 22nd 2008 7:56 am
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Yesterday I saw on tv the annual snail race. The champion for this year took 3 minutes to travel 30 centimetres. So this morning, I went on my morning walk and lo and behold! There were quite a few snails getting their morning sun. I observed them carefully, but haven't shortlisted my choice just yet. They all look so full of potential. Perhaps in a few days' time.

It will be a full time job, training my snail. I have thought about discipline, but it will be hard to punish my snail coz he can hide in his shell any time. And so I came up with an idea. I told fomfomfom she will have to drill holes in my snail's shell and I shall arm myself with a twig so that I can poke him even if he tries to hide. Discipline is very important in any endeavour, especially atheletic ones like the one we are setting out upon.

Tomorrow I shall select a twig in great anticipation.

 

Ah ma went marketing again

July 21st 2008 7:23 am
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I heard ah ma wake up real early this morning. So I started snorting at cha to let me out of the room. Unfortunately, I was unfortunate. So ah ma left and it must be for a few days again coz I saw her packing her little bag 2 nights ago.

So fomfomfom gave ah ma a ride. When she came back, she realised ah bee had locked her out and she couldn't ring the doorbell coz that would wake everyone up. So fomfomfom had to mill around the lobby for 20 minutes before merrilyn woke up and could open the door for her. I say, if cha had let me out of the room to bid ah ma bye bye, I could have opened the door for fomfomfom. Snort.

Dinnertime, I asked ah bee to give me a little of the durian she was eating. Ah bee figured I can't possibly be allergic to durian, so I got me lots. Then fomfomfom gave me pear to eat coz they thought I might be feverish tomorrow coz durian is heaty.

We mustn't tell the vet woman about this.

 

Yawn

July 20th 2008 7:05 am
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I've slept for about 2 hours since my walk but I'm still rather tired. That's coz I don't nap in the afternoon these days. I spend my afternoons harrassing fomfomfom and cha to bring me downstairs to play. It is rather unsatisfactory that fomfomfom is always napping in the afternoons, so I make it a point to register my dissatisfaction by knocking on her door at least 5 times during her nap. But she never takes heed.

But happily, I got cha to bring me down today. It was almost 4pm by the time I managed to get her off her butt. I walked for almost an hour. Add that to my almost one hour in the morning, I'd walked almost 2 whole hours today! No wonder I'm feeling tired.

Night.

 

Nothing much

July 19th 2008 9:04 am
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It rained today.

 
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