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Sherlock Holmes

August 20th 2008 8:36 am
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Ah ma alerted all of us to the presence of something in the night sky tonight. It was there, looming large and mysterious, red and romantic. They wondered what it was. I could have told them in a heartbeat what it was. It was the moon. Duh.

Their only redeeming point is that they eventually concluded it was the moon. And they only took 5 minutes.


They say I look like a toy

August 19th 2008 6:57 am
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Everyone was so merry. Cha brought back the photos from that photo shoot a week and a half ago, and everyone looked at the photos and laughed. I heard my name many times, and they would look at the photos and then tickle my chin and laugh boisterously.

I couldn't help being offended. It was only my first photo shoot, of course I wasn't quite professional. I thought only the 1st two photos looked silly, coz ah ma didn't know how to carry me, but the rest of the photos were good.

Still they laughed loudly. Ah ma was especially merry. She even wants to bring my photos out tomorrow to show her sisters. If making fun of people were an olympic sport, this household would get the gold.



August 18th 2008 8:36 am
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Fomfomfom and her friends were talking about who washes their own underwear and who let their mothers do it. They expressed shock in both camps.

I'm in the third camp and let me express my incredulity at above 2 camps. My stand is, you should wash your panties when you are bathing. You don't even take it off. Just wash yourself together with the panties and it is practical and convenient. That's what I do.



We are Singapore, Hear the lion roar!

August 17th 2008 8:33 am
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Right under my nose, there was a cat. So goes fomfomfom. She claims I didn't see the cat that was hiding in the drain under us. So that's why she pressed my head down and went, cat cat cat! I scanned the horizon at that, but didn't think to look under my feet. Now that she mentioned it, the drain did smell of cat, so I sniffed there for an hour.

Then we went home and waited for the historical women's table tennis match against china. We gave them the good fight, and fomfomfom made me promise to give my panties to the women's team should they win the gold medal. I was rooting for our team, but I was contradicted. I didn't really want to take off my panties. Afterall, I've been wearing them since I was born. They're of a black sexy style.

But don't be mistaken, I wasn't happy when we lost the match. I was accepting. I think our players were accepting too. I'm just glad I got to keep my panties.

It was wonderful how everyone is so supportive of our women's team. Ah ma reports there were no cars on the road. I wiped a tear when our team received the silver olympic medal.

We are Singapore, hear us roar!



August 16th 2008 8:29 am
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These days I found something new to play. It's like a game. I would refuse to pee before bed, and watch my fomfomfom and cha go "shhhhhh..." all night. Then I would circle my toilet and then lounge by its side, watching them go "shhhhh...." with my big brown eyes.

Then it's more "shhh...." and maybe I would deign to give them a little pee. Sometimes not. It's to keep them on their toes.

The aim is to drive them up the wall a little higher each night. Giggles.


Singapore Singapore Singapore!

August 15th 2008 8:54 am
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This morning we met a woman who said her daughter loves petting dogs, but they didn't have one at home. So she told her daughter to drape a rug over her little brother, pet him and feed him tidbits. The daughter protested it's not the same. I agree. But the woman gets points for trying.

In the afternoon I was trying to get them to bring me for my afternoon walk but they were all glued to the tv. Like GLUED. For 4 hours! It turns out my mamas were all watching the women's table tennis olympic game, and they were groaning and throwing their arms up and cheering and doing ESP and making pacts with the tv. And they all boo-ed ah ma loudly when ah ma emerged from her room and announced Chen Shui Bian is resigning from his political party, like it is something important.

Finally, we won and it's a real big deal for singapore, coz it's the 1st time in 48 years we're getting an olympic medal and it's at least a silver, no less. My mamas were real happy and I was real happy coz I finally got to go for my walk.

And since we'd won, fomfomfom has to honour her pact with the tv. She will have to go to the airport to receive the winning player Feng Tianwei and throw her panties with her phone number at her. Whee.


When the wind blows

August 14th 2008 8:37 am
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Oh gosh I think i'm so smart. I hear a "ping" and I know to start barking immediately. Coz a person would be walking out of the lift.

When I hear a "ping!" I know to surface from whatever nook or cranny I'm hiding in. It means cha is looking for me.

And when the wind blows, I sniff at the wind and I can predict the future. At least that's what I tell fomfomfom when she asks me what's in the wind. She seems duly impressed.


Heightened insensitivity

August 13th 2008 8:21 am
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Fomfomfom and cha keep admiring how my hair has grown since the last haircut. Even ah ma stopped in her tracks to admire me. Oh, look how round her face is, how pretty she is!

I got upset coz I was starving and I have lost weight under that kibble-only diet, and my face is much thinner under all that hair. To call my face round is to add salt to my hungry wound.

They make me so angry.


The elements

August 12th 2008 7:44 am
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I was exposed to the elements. The clouds were swirling, the rain was lashing, the wind was howling. It was cold and wet, fomfomfom was almost blown away and my ears were flapping but I endured bravely on. I felt alive, invigorated, I almost howled with the wind.

Besides, I had to empty my bladder.


The Xiaoping Olympics

August 11th 2008 8:29 am
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This olympic spirit is in the air. I feel so competitive. I came up with a brand new sport, which, hopefully, will become an olympic sport one day. I call it Throwing.

I'm being economical with the name. That way it sounds rather sporty and olympian. It involves the stomach muscles.

That spasms so as to produce involuntary regurgitation of previously voluntarily swallowed food.

I did the Throw six times this morning after having breakfast lying down.

And the gold medal goes to....*drumroll*.....Xiaoping! *bow*

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