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Ah ma goes out to play

December 22nd 2008 7:23 am
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Ah ma went out for dinner with her friends tonight. Ah ma seldom goes out, and I was left with only fomfomfom. I felt abandoned. Finally, ah bee came back.

But only a while later, fomfomfom went out again and I barked at her to tell her she can't go out. But she paid me no heed. So it was the last straw when ah bee went up the stairs to look for something. I barked at her and reprimanded her loudly and when she came down, I sat a long way from her.

Punishment is the only deterrent for all these wayward people.

 

Winter solstice

December 21st 2008 8:11 am
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I'm one year older again. It's the winter solstice and everyone had dumplings. Except for me. I know everytime I have a birthday I only get to take pictures with the goodies. So I told ah ma, click away. But no one took pictures this time so I'm a little confused.

I saw kiki and koko this afternoon. That koko is tres terrible. He peed on his maid's shorts twice while she was picking up his poop. He did that the last time too. Boys will be boys. Yuck.

 

What I think of them

December 20th 2008 8:09 am
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My toilet, I pee and they praise me. So I peed today and fomfomfom said, good girl!

Then ah ma said, a swiss bank says gold will go to $300. Fomfomfom said, no way. Ah ma said, I saw it in the papers today!

So ah ma went looking for her papers and finally found it had become my toilet. Her bank analysis part was clean though. So she took it and showed it to fomfomfom, who insisted it was bollocks.

I think it's bollocks too, so I will be sure to pee on the analysis later, when ah ma replaces the paper in my toilet.

 

Soup

December 19th 2008 7:24 am
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The recipe is dried cabbage, strange looking honey dates, pork and water. Boil for 2 hours and you get this wonderful tonic soup that's good for the lungs and happy on the tongue.

My nose was so happy I kept snorting at fomfomfom who was inhaling it by the bowlful. Fomfomfom agreed that it was too good to be kept only to humans so I got all the pork inside.

My stummy was so happy I was blissful for five hours. Then I wanted to play and ah ma declared she wanted to sleep. Spoilsport.

 

Colorless

December 18th 2008 7:43 am
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I realise life without tidbits is colorless.

 

VIP at the vet's

December 17th 2008 6:06 am
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Fomfomfom and cha brought me to the vet's today. The vet woman let us jump the queue when fomfomfom told her we were there for a blood test. We insisted on a red bandage when the vet woman offered me a blue one. I'll go outside and tell the crowd that you let us jump queue if you don't give me a red bandage, I said. I got a red bandage.

Giggles. But we still waited for an hour after that coz there were simply too many people at the vet's today. I saw a big golden retriever vomit and a fierce looking pitbull sort of white dog pee blood. It wasn't a happy place at all. Things took a turn for the sadder when it was my turn and the vet woman declared that my liver enzymes were too high and it was absolutely no tidbits for me. Then she cracked my tartar and put her fingers into my backside.

Boo.

 

My first christmas card

December 16th 2008 6:00 am
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The mail came today, and there was a christmas card for me! It said, Dear Xiaoping and family.. For once I'm in first place! It is a historic day. I will keep the card in my shoebox carefully.

It was from the vet woman, a marks and spencer's card. I'm so pleased I will go and visit her tomorrow.

 

Cha bought monopoly and I want to be the shoe

December 15th 2008 7:03 am
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I saw a cat. It was a tabby and it had a collar on it. It strolled off so I tried my bestest to sprint after it, only it isn't easy when you are lugging along a fomfomfom attached to your leash.

And so, I lost sight of that tabby. Only I could smell him. But I couldn't see him, no matter how hard I looked. Later fomfomfom told me he was under my feet all that time, in the drain.

Sometimes you can't blame a girl for wanting to bite the hand that feeds her.

 

The perfume of the matter

December 14th 2008 7:18 am
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It was raining the moment I got up, and I didn't get to go for my morning walk again. This december thing is starting to grate.

At night ah bee and cha gave me a piece of plastic they peeled off from a box of perfumes. As I am a girl, I love anything to do with perfume. The plastic wrapper was my most precious possession for the night. Ah bee tried to get me to leave it so I can pee, so I tried to bite her nose off. Fomfomfom tried the same thing and I snarled at her too.

Didn't get any of their noses though. It would have been apt, coz they don't respect perfume so they don't deserve noses.

 

We love watching the nanny on saturdays

December 13th 2008 8:28 am
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The wind was howling this afternoon and almost blew my ears off. Ah ma patted me and so I wasn't scared of the wind. Ah ma was pleased with me and generous with her lovin' coz I shat this morning. And ah ma gave me lotsa nice pork for dinner coz she says my insides are empty from lack of meat, that's why I didn't poop for 2 days.

Ah ma understands me best.

 
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