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Put me down as prosecution witness one

January 17th 2010 7:58 am
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Today I witnessed a fight. A real fight. We were sitting in front of the shop when we heard some loud noises. I told Fomfomfom and Ah bee that two guys were fighting. We watched them for a while until they fought out of our vision. So we hurried and walked closer. That was when we realised they weren't fooling around coz one guy was just raining punches on the other. Said other guy fell to the ground and lost one shoe. Guy One picked up the shoe and Ah bee said to Fomfomfom wah he's not too bad he even picked up his shoe for him. Spoke too soon. He used the shoe to hit the fallen guy on the head. Repeatedly. And dragged him across the road. I looked around and up at that time and I realised everyone was sticking their heads out of their apartments and there were people watching around us as well. Some people were yelling at them to stop and two men ran down in their boxers to pull them apart.

Wow. I haven't seen people fight before.

Fierce.

 

Guess who has a new scarf

January 16th 2010 9:24 am
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ME!

Serene jiejie tied it around my neck after I was done with my grooming session today.

*beams*

Everyone said I look so pretty with my new haircut and in the pretty pink scarf.

But of course.

 

Dereliction of duty

January 15th 2010 9:55 am
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Mr Dead Rat is starting to look very undignified indeed. And he's starting to smell. The wind was strong today it carried the smell everywhere. Luckily fomfomfom is not averse to rats, dead or decayed or otherwise. I played downwind for a while.

Maybe we should speak to the management office about it. The cleaners deserve a spanking.

 

Mr Rat

January 14th 2010 8:23 am
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I met Mr Dead Rat again today. It's already the 3rd day since he drowned. I can't say for sure, but I assumed he drowned since it was a rainy day when I first saw him lying there. But then again, maybe he didn't drown since he's lying on the grass. Maybe he was struck by lightning.

I hope they can remove his body tomorrow and give him a proper send-off. God bless his soul. Flies are so undignified.

 

Best recipe in the world

January 13th 2010 8:17 am
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We were watching tv and a fish and chips recipe came up as a filler between programmes. Ah bee wanted to change channels but fomfomfom said we must all know a fish and chips recipe. So we kept our eyes glued to the tv while the recipe unfolded.

3 kinds of fish. (Huh?) Cut into strips and plaid them. (Plaid them?!) Then place fish into bamboo steamer and steam. (Sacrilege!)

Serve with fries.

 

Day at the vet's

January 12th 2010 7:37 am
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We went to the vet's this afternoon. I haven't been there in a while because Ah bee has been emptying my anal sacs at home the past couple of months. But we had to go today because I was due for my blood test. The results are in and I am in the pink of health. *beams* even after all that eating over the festive season. Everyone is pleased and Fomfomfom has promised that she will buy me more tidbits tomorrow.

When we were there, the vet woman reached into the cookie jar and took one out for me. But I didn't want it so Fomfomfom took it from the vet woman.

Ah bee pointed at the label of the jar that read, "Don't feed our clinic dog!" and said that's for Camote, no? The vet woman nodded and said some idiot fed Camote so many cookies she was sick for days and they had to cut her open in the end.

Cut her open! Oh dear. Poor Camote. But she looks none the worse for wear; she kept eyeing the cookie in Fomfomfom's hand.

She simply does not learn.

 

What I organised

January 11th 2010 9:48 am
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Ah bee's friends got in contact with me and fomfomfom last week and planned a surprise birthday celebration for ah bee tonight at midnight coz it's her birthday tomorrow. It was lots of emails and getting in touch with this person and that and secretly finding out ah bee's timetable today. We roped in lots of people and even hacked into ah bee's blackberry. Then when the time came and ah bee was tricked into going downstairs where all her friends were waiting, she didn't bring me along.

That's right, leave the organiser out of the party. Pfft.

 

Uh-oh

January 10th 2010 9:32 am
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I was watching the history channel with fomfomfom. The yellowstone national park is so beautiful and I told fomfomfom she should bring me there one day. I want to chase squirrels and float down rivers on a rubber tube. We made plans. Later we learnt the park is on top of a big bowl of magma and scientists think a super eruption is just round the corner. Fomfomfom said maybe the idea of going is not very wise afterall.

I was almost in tears.

 

A happy dream

January 9th 2010 8:00 am
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Fomfomfom told me she dreamt of me last night. I was following her around and she brought me all around and to a shopping centre, and I was real popular and everyone liked me.

So fomfomfom woke up really happy to see me. But I told her not to waste her time on such real dreams. I'm always popular, in her dreams and out. She should make full use of her dreamtime for impossible scenarios, like being real popular herself.

 

I am not fat

January 8th 2010 9:50 am
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Baby's maid observed today that I am "fat". I informed her that it is merely my hair that's grown long, thus the illusion. At home, fomfomfom says I bounce around.

That bothers me. I'm almost glad I'm getting my hair cut in a week. I can't have everyone refering to me as a fatty.

Not when I'm so sleek under all that hair.

 
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