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Let her eat pork

March 10th 2009 7:58 am
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It is my birthday today. I am 5 years and 3 whole months old now. And I got pork to eat. It kinda makes my skin itchy and bumpy, but cha said since it's my birthday today, I can have pork. Ah ma also lovingly made me pan fried potatoes, so I had pork and potatoes. It's all about alliteration. Ping ping eats pork and potatoes. Giggles.

So now I get to eat pork 5 times a month. 4 times on bath day, and once on birthday. There it is again, alliteration. And if my birthday that month happens to be on bathday, I will take my bath one day later.

Cha praised me for being so smart. I said, but of course, I am one month older and wiser now. Cha, on the other hand, is not. It must be dementia setting in, it happens in stupider species. Cha went out to buy me pandan and walnut cake for my birthday, but they never let me eat it.


Maybe we won't switch on the air con tonight

March 9th 2009 7:47 am
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It was so cold today. It started raining in the morning and it rained all afternoon, and I missed my afternoon walk so I was unhappy. Luckily it stopped raining in time for my evening walk so I went down to sploosh.

It is my secret how I managed to avoid a bath after splooshing. I was happy, but cold, so I snuggled next to cha on the sofa to watch tv. But there was a foul smell so I tried to ask cha if she smelled it too. She shook her head vigorously and the smell was soon gone so I went back to snuggle.

Later I heard cha giggling and telling fomfomfom that she had farted me coz I was always farting her and the rest of the house. They are so childish. So I called her fwarty cha fwarty cha fwarty cha. And she called me fwarty ping, and I called her fwarty cha again.

I think she is so childish.


Conspiracy theory

March 8th 2009 8:32 am
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It was so hot and the sun was so bright I thought night would never fall. Well, night duly came and it remained hot. I gallivanted for a long time downstairs and the heat must have made me a little more tired than usual. Fomfomfom said I looked like mashed potatoes the rest of the night.

Ah bee went to watch Marley and said she cried buckets. Fomfomfom accused us doggies of conspiring to take over the world with doggie movies. When I confirmed it is indeed so, she begged me to spare her when we succeed.

Well, it'll depend on my mood then. Maybe if she starts calling me "Your Majesty" from now....


Honey them all

March 7th 2009 9:48 am
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Fomfomfom went to Auntie Suying's house tonight and when she came back, she said she's found me a new boyfriend. Your new boyfriend is Cookie, she says. Cookie is a white chocolate highland terrier and he looks exactly like Russell, according to Fomfomfom. I said to her, "You stupid ah, I'll get him and Russell mixed up and if I call out the wrong name, I'd be found out and my many boyfriends will know what I've been up to."

Then Ah bee told me to lose the name-calling and just stick to "Honey" for all of me boyfriends.

I like.


Ping's Potato Patch

March 6th 2009 8:18 am
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I was thinking about my future potato patch. My mamas promised me a patch to call my own once they manage to sucker ah ma and ah gong into buying a mansion with lots of land.

Anyway, my patch will be called Ping's Potato Patch. I will grow potatoes on it. You'll never know, when there might be war, an epidemic, or some sort of emergency when we can't get to the supermarket. We can eat french fries all day then.

I will fertilise my patch everyday, of course. It would be fun. But cha reminded me I'd have to water it and harvest it all by myself. I whined to cha, but I'm not tall enough. She'd have none of it.

Too much work. Plan B. Ping's Pear Patch.I'll grow pears, I like pears. Or Ping's Pomegranate Patch. Ping's Papaya Patch.

It's all about alliteration, see.


I think Fomfomfom is going to get fired soon

March 5th 2009 7:21 am
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Fomfomfom keeps grumbling she's going to fire her incompetent boss soon. I told her I think that's a wonderful idea. When that happens, I would like to be a signatory to cheques too, since doubtlessly fomfomfom is going to become the boss then.

And my paw print will be on cheques that go out to save the world.


Farty Ping

March 4th 2009 7:42 am
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Yesterday, Cha suddenly sat up and called me farty ping. I only did something natural. What's with the name-calling?

She said she was hungry tonight. She wondered if she should drink soya bean milk before bed. Maybe it'd give me gas, she told me.

Then I'd call you farty cha, I shouted in her face. Take that.


The pear and the ping

March 3rd 2009 6:23 am
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So ah ma gave me my own pear tonight. I ate the whole pear myself.


My ah ma is unwell

March 2nd 2009 7:06 am
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Yesterday, ah ma ate some bad kaya on her bread and got a stummy upset. And she still went to eat steamboat with fomfomfom and ah bee. Then she spent the rest of the day in bed coz she was feeling so unwell.

This morning ah ma was still green so she went to see a doctor. Ah ma's got a fever too. I didn't want ah ma to feel bad so I ate her whole pear after dinner. Just in case pear is bad for the stummy.


Heaven put me in cha's lap

March 1st 2009 7:50 am
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It rained heavily heavily heavily today. I was taking my walk and the constant thunder scared me. I couldn't possibly let the rain fall on me, so my walk wasn't full of liberty at all.

At night I was tired from the lack of liberty so I stayed on the sofa the entire night. It must have been 6 hours I stayed on that sofa. Even cha expressed admiration at my determination.

And when fomfomfom came to give me a neck scratch, I made a snorting/snoring sound coz I was enjoying it so much. Cha stared for a few minutes and muttered, where did she bring me back from. I told fomfomfom that I was gift from the heavens and that they should appreciate me and give me neck scratches all the time.

Fomfomfom agreed wholeheartedly.

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