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Christmas

December 25th 2008 7:11 am
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I thought long and hard and finally, I told cha with furrowed brows that this christmas thing is overrated.

It's no different from a normal day.

 

Christmas Eve

December 24th 2008 8:02 am
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Fomfomfom promised me a chicken to celebrate Christmas Eve but she didn't get one. Instead she got swiss cheese and ham and wine. The cheese was good, but that's all to the extent of my critique.

And we spent the night watching a show about constipation.

I don't feel very merry at all.

 

My news stand

December 23rd 2008 7:59 am
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Fomfomfom and cha told me today I should look for something to do. Whiling my time away is simply not done. They suggested I rent the monstrosity downstairs and set up a newsstand. That way I can be a shopkeeper and make some money too.

I will call it "Ah ma's newsstand". My ah ma, not yours, I see myself admonishing customers who wonder at the name. I was already calculating how many papers and cigarettes I can sell everyday when fomfomfom and cha vetoed the idea.

They said I will scamper off to play leaving my newsstand unattended. Or I will forget to collect money from my customers.

I think they think too much.

 

Ah ma goes out to play

December 22nd 2008 7:23 am
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Ah ma went out for dinner with her friends tonight. Ah ma seldom goes out, and I was left with only fomfomfom. I felt abandoned. Finally, ah bee came back.

But only a while later, fomfomfom went out again and I barked at her to tell her she can't go out. But she paid me no heed. So it was the last straw when ah bee went up the stairs to look for something. I barked at her and reprimanded her loudly and when she came down, I sat a long way from her.

Punishment is the only deterrent for all these wayward people.

 

Winter solstice

December 21st 2008 8:11 am
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I'm one year older again. It's the winter solstice and everyone had dumplings. Except for me. I know everytime I have a birthday I only get to take pictures with the goodies. So I told ah ma, click away. But no one took pictures this time so I'm a little confused.

I saw kiki and koko this afternoon. That koko is tres terrible. He peed on his maid's shorts twice while she was picking up his poop. He did that the last time too. Boys will be boys. Yuck.

 

What I think of them

December 20th 2008 8:09 am
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My toilet, I pee and they praise me. So I peed today and fomfomfom said, good girl!

Then ah ma said, a swiss bank says gold will go to $300. Fomfomfom said, no way. Ah ma said, I saw it in the papers today!

So ah ma went looking for her papers and finally found it had become my toilet. Her bank analysis part was clean though. So she took it and showed it to fomfomfom, who insisted it was bollocks.

I think it's bollocks too, so I will be sure to pee on the analysis later, when ah ma replaces the paper in my toilet.

 

Soup

December 19th 2008 7:24 am
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The recipe is dried cabbage, strange looking honey dates, pork and water. Boil for 2 hours and you get this wonderful tonic soup that's good for the lungs and happy on the tongue.

My nose was so happy I kept snorting at fomfomfom who was inhaling it by the bowlful. Fomfomfom agreed that it was too good to be kept only to humans so I got all the pork inside.

My stummy was so happy I was blissful for five hours. Then I wanted to play and ah ma declared she wanted to sleep. Spoilsport.

 

Colorless

December 18th 2008 7:43 am
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I realise life without tidbits is colorless.

 

VIP at the vet's

December 17th 2008 6:06 am
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Fomfomfom and cha brought me to the vet's today. The vet woman let us jump the queue when fomfomfom told her we were there for a blood test. We insisted on a red bandage when the vet woman offered me a blue one. I'll go outside and tell the crowd that you let us jump queue if you don't give me a red bandage, I said. I got a red bandage.

Giggles. But we still waited for an hour after that coz there were simply too many people at the vet's today. I saw a big golden retriever vomit and a fierce looking pitbull sort of white dog pee blood. It wasn't a happy place at all. Things took a turn for the sadder when it was my turn and the vet woman declared that my liver enzymes were too high and it was absolutely no tidbits for me. Then she cracked my tartar and put her fingers into my backside.

Boo.

 

My first christmas card

December 16th 2008 6:00 am
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The mail came today, and there was a christmas card for me! It said, Dear Xiaoping and family.. For once I'm in first place! It is a historic day. I will keep the card in my shoebox carefully.

It was from the vet woman, a marks and spencer's card. I'm so pleased I will go and visit her tomorrow.

 
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