Cwab!

Today I ate pepper crab. A crab is an animal. It walks sideways and lives in a shell. When it grows up, it tells its mama it wants to be either chilli or pepper. I am just a baby, so my mamas don't let me eat chilli.

Pepper crab tastes like crab and pepper. It is the first time I tasted pepper. It's like stinging, and cooling, and when the wind blows, my face will smile. I like pepper crab.

Then my mamas immediately regretted giving me pepper crab. They were afraid I would get a stummyache. So they gave me a pig's ear to test me. I bounced up the stairs to show I'm springy and sunny, and I wagged my tail so hard the bell on my collar was ringing. The pig's ear grew hair. Pigs are gross.

But it is mine and when my mamas were satisfied I have no stummyache, they took it away from me. I spent the night barking for the ear which came from the pig who was gross coz he grew hair on his ear.

Elements

I battled the weather today. It was dark and cloudy, the clouds threatening to burst any moment. But I still defiantly opened shop to welcome passers by. Though to pacify ah ma, I had to cut short my activity and come back into the house after an hour.

But, oh, what an hour. It was one whole glorious hour of barking. See? I wasn't the only one out in this weather. There were lots of passers by to bark at.

This was the day the pingping and other lesser beings triumphed over the elements.

Motion picture

I watched it rain today. It was a wonderful motion picture. The leaves swayed in the wind, the raindrops pitter-pattered. The wind ruffled my hair, and it smelled wonderful.

The plot is about a girl who doesn't get to go out into the garden to welcome passers by due to rain.

It deserves an Oscar.

Perfect World

In a perfect strawberry world, there are no eardrops, nor eyedrops masquerading as eardrops. I would have a cat as a pet, and a baby bird to care for.

Fomfomfom is not watching David Tutera on cable and ah bee is not studying. Cha is not trying to hypnotise me into forgetting she threw away my lamb's ear, and ah ma does not have nintendo.

Alas.

Ears

I woke up today at 10am. Ah ma scolded me for being lazy and waking up late. But I was still happy coz it's saturday! Then I hid behind the big vase in the living room and snoozed. Fomfomfom couldn't find me until I peeped out at her behind the vase. I giggled at her and she came to wish me good morning and pat my head.

Later, after washing ears, fomfomfom and ah bee gave me something new. It was a lamb's ear! I didn't know what to do with it, so I guarded it. I told ah bee to wash the lamb's ear too, as they did mine. She promised to do it, it's only fair.

At night I still guarded the ear jealously. Fomfomfom patted my head and I bit her hand. Ah ma said I can't sleep in peace since I was so vigilant in guarding my prize. She told fomfomfom to keep it at night so I can sleep without worries.

I immediately chewed a corner off the ear to show her who's king.

Hurt

The tension was thick between me and ah ma today. After my bath, she tried to snatch my milkstick. In the evening, she scolded me for walking too slowly behind her. At night, she was preoccupied with her nintendo casino game. I had to eat by myself, walk around by myself, and sleep alone in a corner.

When fomfomfomcame home from dinner, ah ma, her eyes glued to her nintendo, informed fomfomfom that no one wanted to play with me. I was hurt. Tears came to my eyes and fomfomfom comforted me. Ah ma finally threw me out of her room after she had had enough of gambling.

But I still love ah ma.

Midnight

This afternoon, i was hiding under the tom while ah bee and fomfomfom tried to capture me with a blanket. Cha came to my rescue and I asked her to carry me. Then I found myself getting my ears washed. Cha has defected to the dark side.

At midnight, fomfomfom brought me out to the porch. It was not something I was familiar with, the outside world at night. But it was quite wonderful.The air was fresh, there were no cars passing by the house, no baygon. And then it was quiet and cool, and there was a constant breeze, my porch fan! I sniffed and sniffed the air, it smelled so good.

Then I sniffed the tiles on the porch, all over. It smelled like the moonlight that's shining on it. Um no, it was the porch light, there was no moon. I sniffed every inch of the porch floor and went after a few ants. I also stood up to reach a big flower pot and sniffed a fern. It smelled nice too.

I looked up and saw a lot of stars. Twinkle and twinkle. It was my first time looking at stars. They were nice too. Even the satellites were nice.

Outside on the streets, the street lamps were shining a bright orange on the leaves on the trees. In the day, the leaves are green. Now they are the color of shadows and bright orange. It was dark, but not gloomy, it was just peaceful and everything was still. I wasn't scared at all because fomfomfom was with me and I could just turn inwards and there would be ah bee and all the bright lights in the house.

I really appreciated it.

I told fomfomfom that she should bring me out every night to do my appreciation. And I told her, who was demoted a few days ago to fomfomfomfomfomfomfom, that she's promoted to fom.

Then suddenly I found myself being carried to the bathroom to have eyedrops put into my ears. The woman was demoted again, to fomfomfom.

On the shoulders of giants

I wanted cha to carry me today. The 1st time, in the morning, we went to the garden to watch the gasman deliver gas to the neighbour. Now I know how to deliver gas.

A world of learning can be done on cha's shoulders! Oh, what a revelation. Thus bitten by the learning bug, I bugged cha to carry me twice more.

Of course, you have to be selective about your platform. If I had asked ah bee or fomfomfom to carry me, without doubt I would have ended up in the bathroom getting my ears cleaned.

That bit of knowledge is useful too, just like my newfound knowledge on the finer points of gas delivery.

Adversity and solitude

I wanted some solitude. Ah ma cut the grass today, it was so noisy. My head pounding, I went into the house and immediately took in a lungful of baygon. Ah ma said there were ants. High on the stuff, I attempted to finish welcoming passers by this evening.

Oh, it wasn't easy. Only my perseverance saw me through. At night, I wanted some solitude. Then ah bee joined me. What it was, with 2 people, it was no longer solitude. Of course, you know that.

It was solitude x 2, extra solitude.

Adversity

Ah ma scolded me. It was mahjong day today, and I only wanted the mahjong girls. I didn't want ah ma. So ah ma scolded me. I dunno, but what's the biggie? I would want ah ma after the mahjong girls had gone home. So what's she unhappy about?

And then at dinner time, I heard ah gong coughing in the kitchen coz something he was eating went down the wrong way. Ah ma continued eating like nothing was the matter, so I had to bark at her to save my ah gong. It was like the time when I barked to get attention for someone to save my ah bee when ah bee fainted. I said, Mayday, Mayday! But nobody ever pays any attention.

So ah gong was in his coughing fit, and ah ma focused on finishing her dinner. And then she warmed up my dinner! Throughout I was barking at her to save my ah gong. Oh, my anxiety. Luckily, ah gong was alright in the end.

If you are in this house, you best not faint or feel unwell. No one cares. Fomfomfom told me not to bark and just pick up the phone to dial for an ambulance next time.

But I'm not tall enough. And I can't remember the number.