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Porridge

May 23rd 2008 9:20 am
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I was watching the news with ah ma. They were reporting on the pandas in sichuan. Apparently there is a shortage of bamboo, maybe the earthquake destroyed lots of bamboo, so the zookeepers are feeding the pandas porridge. Those are the olympic pandas, they look like me. We are white and black and very cute, which is the description of me in my vet visit card. Black and white and very cute. Yes. Anything black and white is very cute.

If I had porridge to eat, I would pretend to be Goldilocks. Cha, fomfomfom and ah ma can be the 3 bears. Then I would wear a blond wig and eat porridge. When ah bee comes back she can climb up my blond locks into the house and we can blow the house down and run away to New Zealand where ah ma will buy me 2 sheep and we can all live happily ever after.

 

Little purty gurl

May 22nd 2008 8:13 am
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Just now I told cha to put my little girl scout kerchief around my neck so that I may look nice. Then I went off to show it to ah ma and she praised me for being pretty.

Then ah ma was having a tonic soup with an egg for supper and I thought to show her my prettiest side so that I may get some supper too. Ah ma looked at me for a long time, all the while eating her bowl of soup, and then said I look like a little girl. And then she finished her bowl of soup.

I suppose I should be happy that I look like a little girl.

 

Like a million bucks

May 21st 2008 8:11 am
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It is vet day today. Fomfomfom couldn't make an appointment so we just walked in and squatted like commoners waiting our turn. The vet woman had an attachee with her and proceeded to tell her what a princess I am. Cha was too embarrassed to tell her that I'm not a princess, but the queen, so we just nodded.

The patch of skin on my thigh, it is no good. It has been 2 weeks and it's still as bad as ever. The vet woman said it is a bacterial infection so I have to eat antibiotics and apply a cream. Antibiotics twice a day for 2 weeks and fomfomfom told the vet woman to kill her straight. And continue the kibble only diet for another 2 weeks at least, I told her to kill me too. The vet woman just smiled and thought we were so charming.

Then she proceeded to put her fingers where the sun don't shine and squeeze, all the while telling me what a smelly girl I am. Then she thought she was so cute, and kept asking, who's so smelly? Who is Miss Stinky? After the tenth time I told her I thought she's Miss Stinky. So she wasn't so happy and deflected it by telling fomfomfom luckily humans don't need their anal sacs squeezed. Fomfomfom said thank god, she'd hate to have to visit the vet woman every month. The vet woman promptly informed fomfomfom that she won't do it for a million bucks, and even then, she would have to blindfold herself.

When I grow up, and have a million bucks, I would buy myself a vet woman and make her eat antibiotics everyday and bring her to the vet all the time. All the time.

 

?

May 20th 2008 7:39 am
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Today they were talking about ah bee. What is an ah bee?

 

Happy Vesak Day!

May 19th 2008 8:35 am
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It is a story about the gardens again. We met so many dogs today, it is a public holiday, see? There were people playing soccer and having picnics. I met many big dogs, but fomfomfom always carried me when they approach. The owners would be quick to assure that their dogs are friendly. Then fomfomfom will inform them that I am NOT friendly and that I suffer from small dog syndrome. Then fomfomfom would wink and the owners would all smile knowingly and wave bye bye.

I feel maligned. Fomfomfom suffers from anti-socialism and she heaps it on me. So I demand compensation. I want a pizza. I want a macaroni and cheese pizza. Cha says how can a pizza taste nice without meat? We will have to add bacon and sausages to my pizza. But I said no. Today is Vesak day and I am a vegetarian for the day. I am pious. Om.

The price of my gram of gold went up again. I am sitting on a profit of a whole 70 cents, no kiddin'. But my parking bill today at the gardens is 80 cents so I am a little sad, not to mention in the red. So I asked fomfomfom for more gold and she said ok.

Now I have 5 grams of gold.

 

Sticks and stones may break my bones but beware the fury of- a woman crossed

May 18th 2008 8:42 am
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It was like a party today at the gardens. There were lots of people playing and having picnics. I was just doing my thing when this boy walked towards me and with a rock in his hand, was all poised to throw it at me. Neither me nor fomfomfom saw him, but I was saved by cha's timely action. Her deadly glare reduced the boy to pieces and now he's just a pile of dust in a remote corner of the botanical gardens. Just as well. Were he not a pile of dust now, fomfomfom would have torn him to shreds, ground him into powder and then fed him to the swans then killed the swans and incinerated the gardens until her fury is assuaged.

And then she would kill the boy's mother.

 

Of fish and fishes

May 17th 2008 8:28 am
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Fomfomfom frowned and said my breath smells terrible today, like fish tank and salted fish. She said I will have to start brushing my teeth very soon.

Cha sniffed me and pronounced my breath perfectly normal, it smells just like a fish tank. Nothing out of the ordinary, she beamed.

What? Am I supposed to be happy?

 

Less one leg

May 16th 2008 8:19 am
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I went to the gardens today and saw 3 dogs running around without adult supervision. So I avoided them and took another route. But suddenly, one dog bounded out from nowhere and gave me and fomfomfom a fright. Fomfomfom quickly picked me up and shook her fist at the maid in charge of the 3 unleashed dogs. How irresponsible, fomfomfom fumed. Supposed he attacked me?

Anyway, I have seen those 3 dogs before. One of them has only 3 legs. But he seems oblivious to that fact and runs as fast as the other 2. So I am quite happy for him.

Alas I am less happy for the quake victims in china. Today in the newspaper, there was this woman trapped under rubble and rescuers could neither reach her nor pull her out. So they gave her a saw and she amputated her own leg before she was freed and got pulled out.

Such despairing news day after day after day.

 

Cute little chinese girl

May 15th 2008 8:11 am
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Last night fomfomfom and ah ma were channel surfing and they went to channel 8. It was a chinese drama serial, made in singapore! Fomfomfom wanted to watch it so she can giggle but ah ma couldn't stand it and changed the channel. Fomfomfom was disappointed.

Today we went to the gardens and there they were again, filming another drama serial. Fomfomfom was reminded to catch the same show tonight, but alas, she forgot. There is always tomorrow, promises to be always painful to watch, always good for giggles.

Talking about tv, today we were watching the news again, about the china earthquake. There was this girl being interviewed, she must be younger than me, maybe just 3 years old. She donated 1000 rmb to the quake victims, and it was her own money. She told the camera it was her chinese new year ang pow money from her parents, and she hopes they will use it to buy water, food and flu medicine for the victims. Flu medicine! Well.

The price of gold went up today. I am rather happy.

 

Cruel world

May 14th 2008 8:12 am
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I was watching the news with ah ma just now. The earthquake 2 days ago in Sichuan, it is bad. The Prime Minister of China went down and he was speaking to a girl who is slightly older than me. She had lost both her parents in the quake and is now an orphan. The Prime Minister was comforting her and she was crying and crying and crying.

I feel like crying myself.

 
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