Pecuniary

I've been wanting to buy myself a kg of that beautiful gourmet bak kua. But I hadn’t any money; all my ang bao money is in my shoe box which I don’t have access to. My chance came yesterday. I told Cha that she would have to be responsible if it started raining coz she was playing her game all day long and didn’t bring me to the gardens on time. She said okay. We walked for 25 minutes in the gardens when it started raining. She said that 25 minutes is about the time I spend in the gardens everyday anyway. I told her that it didn’t matter; she had to give me 20 bucks because it rained. She grudgingly agreed.

Today is Yuan Xiao. Fomfomfom cooked dumplings for everyone but she didn’t give me one. She said that she forgot to make me a rice dumpling for lunch and will make it up to me tomorrow. But I told her that tomorrow is not Yuan Xiao anymore and then I went to sulk in the corner. She felt so guilty and asked me how she could make amends. I told her that 20 bucks would do just fine.

Then Ah bee made some snide remark about me. Fomfomfom informed her that I was hurt and that she will have to give me 13 dollars to make me feel better.

Ladies and gentlemen, I now have 53 buckeroos. I hear that bak kua calling my name.

Them greedy gals

I finally got to go to the gardens today. This was after two days, and after I sulked in the living room for 2 hours. Ah ma couldn’t bear to see me upset so she ordered Cha and Ah bee to bring me to the gardens. That Cha had the cheek to tell me to wait half an hour more. Coz she was in a mission. And Ah bee too- she said she had to take a dump. Like hellooooooooo, how dare they keep me waiting?

Anyway, we went to gardens. It started drizzling after 25 minutes so Ah bee carried me and Cha held the brolly for us. Queen Ping goes to the gardens. In style.

I was a little tired at night coz I watched opera with Ah ma and Ah gong all night long. Then when Ah bee brought me out to the balcony I wasn’t all that interested. Oh I have to say this, Ah ma raised 3 gluttons. Cha told Ah bee to buy an extra value meal for her supper. That came with an extra 6-piece nuggets. She finished most of that. And that Ah bee, she had a humongous pork chop for dinner. Then she ate 2 of Cha’s nuggets. And when Fomfomfom came home with bee hoon and fried chicken, she chugged the bee hoon while Fomfomfom worked on them chicken. Such gluttony, such sin.

I told Ah bee I wanted a Happy Meal. But what did I get? A quarter of a nugget. Somehow I got the feeling I got shortchanged.

Black white and pink II

Yesterday my backside did this strange thing. I don't know what it did, but there was a strange noise, it sputtered and I looked at my backside and I didn't know what that was. But my 3 mamas looked at me and then at one another and then they laughed at me. They said I just farted. I dunno what a fart is, there was nothing from my backside, unlike when I poop, there is poo, which I can eat. Anyway, I don't see why that is so funny, coz fomfomfom just did this fart thing. I didn't even laugh at her.

It was looking real promising today, the weather was. Then at 2pm the clouds gathered and it rained and I was upset. And then it rained and rained and rained and I was comforted coz at least then it was worth it. If it had been a continuous drizzle then it wouldn't have been worth it.You know what I'm talking about, going to the gardens. A deluge! Ah bee said the canals were full, but it can't be that bad, I know, coz our basement is not flooded yet.

I threw up my lunch today. There was pain in my ah ma's heart, but later I ate a little and ah ma's heart was happy again. Unlike ah bee, who had a pain in her heart too. Maybe she is falling sick, but she is better now. Fomfomfom showed ah bee a book from kino, philosophy in the boudoir, ah bee read it in fomfomfom's boudoir where I happened to be lounging too. It seems that the people in kino didn't know they were selling ancient pornography, coz it's a penguin book. I don't like penguins, coz they are ugly and they waddle. Now I know they are indecent too and it makes me blush on their behalf so I am black white and pink. And they are only black and white. If we cook them rare they will be pink.

Rain rain go away

It has been raining for 2 days now. I didn't go to the botanical gardens today too. It is upsetting, the way my mamas keep substituting other outings for my daily jaunt at the gardens. Yesterday, I went for a haircut. Today I went to the vet!

It was upsetting, the way the vet woman cleaned my ears and squeezed my backside. Some of that stuff from my backside fell on the table, there was so much of it, that the vet woman gasped for air and swooned. Cha had to open the door for her. That was happy.

It was upsetting too, that we had workers come to the house to look at our leaky roof and I was tied to the window. Cha and fom tied me up before they went out and I couldn't give the guests a proper welcome.

It was also upsetting, I guess, that the market is going all the way down like that. I think a lot of people are upset, like my ah ma. I'm not upset about it coz I don't like the market. I only like the gardens. I'm an outdoor sort of girl.

Pretty me.

1.) I cut my hair today. Ah ma says I look very pretty.
2.) It rained today. I ate my poopie.
3.) I watched the mahjong gals the rest of the day. That got me sleepy.
4.) Ah bee has a headache today. She was woozy.
5.) Cha has a stummyache. She felt queasy.
6.) I wrote this in point form. Because I am lazy.

Black white and pink

Wo shi xiao ping,
Wo da yan jing.
Wo shi xiao ping,
Wo black white and pink.

10 days

It rained today. Again. I was tied up athe balcony while Ah ma did some gardening. Then I saw Cha filling my water bottle. That's when I got really excited. I started barking and whining. That Ah ma, she's so naughty; she told Cha to say Bye-bye to me. I was like a kancheong spider on a hot plate because I thought that Cha was going to the gardens without me. Then came Fomfomfom to the rescue. I lurbch Fomfomfom.

We met Ah bee at the gardens coz it is so near her school. I had three people walking me today. What a treat! Except that Ah bee and Fomfomfom kept lagging and I had to stop to wait for them. Those stupid gals, they were singing real lousy chinese opera and giggling while walking along. Such a disgrace- I shall tell Ah ma not to let them out of the house. They cramp my style.

Ah bee came up with a riddle. If Fomfomfom is servant girl A and Ah bee is servant girl B, how many days did they have between the two of them? The moment Ah bee told Fomfomfom the answer, Fomfomfom pinched her coz it's a really lousy riddle. Cha only shook her head and said it's unfunny. Cha has got some dignity left in her yet.

P.S. the answer is 10 days.
P.P.S. Ah ma gave me 2 dollars. I must be doing something right.

Rain rain rain

The weather was really erratic today. It rained and then it stopped. Then it started raining. And then it stopped. And then it rained. And then it stopped. You get the drift. I thought that I wouldn’t get to go to the gardens for sure. Then Ah ma told Cha to get ready and the three of us held hands and went. I was so happy. This is why I love my Ah ma. Coz my Ah ma loves me.

That’s why I didn’t mind when they sprayed my belly with water. Not much anyway.

WOOOOooooo

We met a Golden Retriever in the gardens today. I barked at him and he walked backwards. He’s a tortoise egg.

When I got back from the gardens, Fomfomfom and Ah bee sprayed my belly with water. And my chest too. Coz it rained three times today and everywhere was wet. I wasn’t too happy coz I just had a bath yesterday so I went to sulk, or what Fomfomfom calls tnio, in the living room all by myself.

All night long I tnioed. I didn’t go to them for bellyrubs. At about 1030, I decided to forgive them so I went to Fomfomfom for a momo. She was watching a movie- Summer Momo Tea. She asked me if I wanted a Momo Tea. I told her a momo would be good, thank you very much.

I told her to bring me out to the balcony for my nightly moontan. We were about to go when Ah ma informed Fomfomfom that she baygoned the whole place. So I had to stay in. That’s when I started to tnio again.

Ah bee gave me a little of her ham and cheese sandwich so I stopped tnioing. I tried to sell the sandwich to Cha for 2 million buckaroos but she said she didn’t want it. Too bad, coz that was some kickass sandwich Ah bee had over there.

They started talking about Esther, their little niece who is two years old. Esther came over to our place over the CNY. When she saw me, she thumped her chest and said, “Esther pa pa”. They were saying that little kids always refer to themselves in the third person. But that is not true. For one, I don’t. It’s always WOOoooooooo when I refer to myself. I am Her Woyal Highness Queen Ping.

Then Fomfomfom and Ah bee started singing silly songs in Cha’s room. Something about Chinese sausages and fishballs. Cha threatened to hurl them both out the window. They continued singing and then started giggling uncontrollably. Cha shook her head and went back to playing her game. Things like that you got to get used to when you live in this house.

Madness.

Incorrigible chicken porridge

Yesterday I was in the garden when this family walked past. The father said to the little girl, “Look at the doggie!” And then he said, “Look at the doggie’s windmill!”. I have a flower windmill in the garden. I take it that they like me and my windmill a lot coz they walked by our house twice.

We got new topsets for our cable tv. They seem to like it a lot. Apparently there are a lot more channels than before. No wonder everyone is glued to it. I don’t’ really care; as long as I have my cartoons everything is dandy.

I didn’t get to go to the gardens today coz it started raining. I told Fomfomfom to keep my windmill coz I don’t want it to be in the rain. She promptly went upstairs to watch TV and snack. She is going out for dinner later and what is she doing now? Snacking on tidbits.

Incorrigible chicken porridge.

Fomfomfom and Ah bee took me out for a walk around the neighbourhood. I heart them deep deep. But most of all, I heart my Ah ma deep deep coz she was the one who ordered them to bring me out. I had to take a bath after that. Poooooi baths.