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The cow

July 6th 2008 7:49 am
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At the gardens today, a woman said I look like a cow. I was too polite to tell her she's the one who looks like a cow.

In the late afternoon, my tai-ma and auntie harry and auntie poh eng came to visit, and ah ma served them delicious soup. My mamas also started eating after that. It all smelt so delicious but no one would give me any. I got angry so I decided to bring my dinner out to the garden to eat alfresco. So I was doing up the ambience for myself, seeing no one cared a hoot about my meals. Ah bee fed me while I kept an eye out for passers by to welcome.

It wasn't great, and I vomited my alfresco dinner on the grass. I tried to eat it again but fomfomfom won't let me.

At night I thought maybe I'm not a cow but a camel, so I drank up all the water in my bowl at one go.

 

Long time no see

July 5th 2008 8:51 am
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I took my pink and yellow doughnut down and put it beside my volleyball Mikasa so that they can be together. I always do that coz that way, I can watch them both at the same time.

I saw Magic and Diva today. Not at the gardens though. I was welcoming passersby, and they passed by. I shouted, "Sister YY!" Sister YY was so happy and she kept asking, "Is that Xiaoping?! Is that Xiaoping?!" I haven't seen them in a real long time, and I barked and barked loudly.

They stay really near me, but it's a pity I'm moving soon. But I'm glad I saw them today before we move in 2 days' time. At least we got to say bye bye.

 

My career

July 4th 2008 8:34 am
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It was ah bee's last day at work today. I didn't want to go to work with her coz I had my heart set on going to the gardens in the morning, so I told her to tender my resignation for me. I had a position as a shredder, but I never did turn up for work coz I don't have a school bag.

It was a dismal career. I didn't shred one piece of paper. I thought it was kind of destructive too, so I decided to do a career switch while I am still young. My ambition now is to be a photocopying machine! Fomfomfom thought it's a good choice of career coz I'm already black and white, it shouldn't be too hard to get my qualifications. As for color copies, I'll leave that for career advancement.

Planning a life-changing career switch before breakfast was no walk in the park. But a walk in the gardens was a real walk in the park. I didn't want to push my brain to the limit, so I just circled the creaky tree 10 times. Fomfomfom and cha dragged me home.

And I was all tired out by the morning's activities so I took a nap before lunch was served. I dreamt of color copies all throughout.

 

Molly

July 3rd 2008 8:40 am
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We met a little pug at the gardens today. She's a real little thing, only 3 months old. Her english lady owner said she's out investigating, as she hasn't seen much yet. Her name is molly and she's got a little pink collar with a really long leash. I thought she looked really funny so I walked up to her and barked at her. She wasn't scared, and tried to approach me, but I got scared so fomfomfom had to carry me.

While fomfomfom was comforting me, molly had the audacity to drink from my water bottle. Cha thought she was too interested in my water bottle so she offered her a drink. Molly's owner said it's a really good device. How silly, I scoffed. A pug who hasn't yet seen a water bottle! And the owner! Oh, don't get me started.

We left them alone and the last scene I took in was that of the little pug on all fours, her backside sticking up, no doubt about to pounce on some new object of her investigation.

We got home and cha and fomfomfom were still swooning over molly and even told ah ma about her in great detail. I got a little angry.

 

I got a little angry during my bath

July 2nd 2008 7:53 am
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I didn't see Melmel and Chipchip at the gardens today, they must have been stuck with some last minute chores at home. Maybe gardening or vacuuming or something. Luckily I am such an independent girl, I did my own thing. I tried to climb a coconut tree. I stood on my hind legs and front legs on the tree trunk, it must have been a whole 20 centimetres. I told cha, it's only natural to want to climb upwards, it's a chinese saying. Only worms burrow downwards. So I must try to climb upwards.

I always try my best as a good little chinese girl.

And there're so many mosquitoes at home, my 3 mamas are on a rampage to kill every last one. There was this mozzie in the room as I was about to turn in, they were all after its blood (I think it's after their blood too, so it's mutual), I took pity on it coz it seems such bullying for 3 big humans to be after one small mozzie, so I offered it refuge in my ear. My ear flops down so it's a good place to hide. I told the mozzie he should stop buzzing while he's in my ear coz the sound disturbs me.

The rest is up to his fate. We chinese always believe in fate.

 

Bubbles bubbles everywhere

July 1st 2008 8:16 am
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I reckon it's coz of the moving house affair, but the house is full of them bubblewrap. I indulged, I revelled, I made a home in it. I sat on it and refused to relinquish it to ah ma. Later, ah gong told cha to wrap some bubblewrap around my middle like some ancient chinese undergarment, so I fled.

At night I took off my doggie soft toy Meimei's clothes. Fomfomfom told me to put it back on for Meimei but I didn't want to. I don't wear clothes, so neither should Meimei. Besides ah ma had just washed Meimei really clean and white a few days ago, so I was a little jealous of Meimei. For good measure, I tried to rip her clothes apart. Ah ma laughed at me. Fomfomfom lured me away and later cha put the clothes back on Meimei.

Ok, I gotta get me some beauty sleep now. All that bubblewrapping is tiring, and besides, I told Melmel and Chipchip today that I'll meet them at the gardens tomorrow morning. I have to look good for them. They always get so excited about me.

 

Only black white and pink

June 30th 2008 8:39 am
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I sensed them before they came into view. 2 men came from the land authority to check our house and I barked ferociously as they walked up the stairs. I must have done myself proud, as they finally saw me and one guy went, "Oh. Small dog." Only sissies are seen and not heard. Me, you can hear me everywhere.

Fomfomfom and cha were talking about movies, how they are usually not worth the ticket price. Cha said most are not even worth the DVD rental price. At this juncture I had to interject, Under the Tuscan Sun is worth every penny of the price that we paid for the vcds. Both of them.

Under the tuscan sun is my favourite show. I have watched it thrice already, twice with cha and once with fomfomfom. I suggested to fomfomfom that we should move to tuscany in future, but she said I should learn italian first. I already know a little italian, so I pooh-poohed her and said, "Oui!"

Ah bee came back from work to doll herself up for a wedding dinner she had to attend. She offered to curl my lashes and put on some make up for me but I didn't want to. Coz I am Xiaoping, I am black white and pink.

Red and blue and yellow and purple have no place in my life.

 

Pockets

June 29th 2008 7:22 am
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There were many big boxes today, they were filling them up with all sorts of things. I wanted to help ah ma by inspecting her towels and rugs but she just waggled her finger at me and grumbled. Ah bee wanted to box me in and I fled the scene and went to take my afternoon nap with ah ma. Packing is tiring business.

In the evening I was at my usual spot welcoming passersby and I saw this pair of male brown huge poodles. Well, I often see them, but this is the first time I discovered they actually had pockets. They were groomed in a real peculiar fashion, It's like the groomer took his shaver and haphazardly shaved tracts of fur off wherever he pleased. He left them pockets at the sides of their hips, no doubt so they could keep their sweets inside.

I wish my groomer had left me pockets too.

p.s. Ah bee was so stupid she didn't screw the top of my kibble container tight and swung my kibble all over the floor and stairs. I simply have to note this down even though I'd already finished writing my entry for today. See, you'll never know what things can happen to you, even when you think you're home safe. Enter exhibit A-- Anwar, he got accused of sodomy again. One'd think they'd come up with something new. Which brings me to the stupid ah bee again, she tried feigning fainting on me again. Once, she tried that when I was only a few months old, I saved her by nudging her with my nose and licking her and screaming for help. This time, I continued playing with my rope. There's no salvation for those who cry wolf twice. If you've never heard that nugget of wisdom before, there's no salvation for you too, but remember, you heard it here first.

 

I didn't forget to grow

June 28th 2008 9:06 am
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This morning at the gardens, we bumped into this doggy. We didn't get his name and I can't quite tell what breed he is. But that's not the point. He's a bit of a tortoise egg himself for he ran away when Fomfomfom tried to approach him. That is beside the point as well. Just one more irrelevant point before we move on to the important stuff that I really want to tell you all about- he was busy sniffing at my little girl's bits; just like Melmel whom we bumped into later into the walk. The only difference is Melmel was so excited about sniffing at my little girl's bits that it was a little disturbing.

But I digress. So as I was saying, the said doggy was walked by a woman. She told us that he is a year and a half. Fomfomfom told her I am four and a half.

"Four and a half?!?! Oh dear, you forgot to grow ah?"

No I didn't. I remembered. It's just a little hard when all you have to eat is kibble.

A pox on that vet woman.

 

I dind't get to eat curry fish head

June 27th 2008 8:39 am
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Ah ma washed all my toys and mattresses, coz she was afraid my mattresses are dirty and might be causing my skin to be bad. Ah ma loves me and I love ah ma.

The toys and mattresses all smell lovely after being washed and sunned. I dragged the toys all over the place and slept on 2 mattresses at once. Ah ma waggled her finger at me. Then she kept some of my toys coz she didn't want me to dirty them before we move house. I waggled my finger at ah ma.

I got injured when I was barking at passersby this evening. Merrilyn was cutting the grass, and I couldn't go out until one hour later, so I was anxious and I kicked too hard when barking. My paws were bleeding and I left bloodstains on the mat and cardboard. Fomfomfom got scolded for it, though I don't know why. Fomfomfom gets scolded for everything in the house. Giggle.

Ah bee came and went with Auntie Lynn. I have nothing to write about that, it was over so soon. What wasn't over so soon, was curry fish head. Ah ma was lazy to cook, so she got ah gong to buy curry fish head back for dinner. Ah gong, as usual, overdid it and bought 2. They'll be eating it for days, and I won't get a bite. It smells rather lovely, but my big eyes didn't work on fomfomfom.

She was stuffing her face, the wretch. I'm glad she gets scolded for everything.

 
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