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Ping'ed!

November 4th 2010 9:07 am
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Yesterday I pooted a real stinky one when I was in the lift with fomfomfom. When fomfomfom smelled my fart, she panicked and prayed hard that no one was waiting to come into the lift when the door opened. Luckily for her, the gods that she did not believe in came to her rescue.

Cha and ah bee hooted with laughter when I told them about my latest prank. Fomfomfom begged for a solution coz the pingster is a farter-at-will. Ah bee thought there was no way out except to apologise to the person coming in, and then disappear, like a puff of fart. Fomfomfom thought she should just run into a wall at top speed and hope she dies. Cha was the only worthy one. She said we should stop the lift at whatever floor immediately and change a lift.

Hmm. I must think of something more unthwartable next time. But this was a good one, as far as it went. I'm pleased.

 

Abuse

November 3rd 2010 8:45 am
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Ah ma pointed at me and wagged her finger and poked my head with her finger this morning from our floor all the way down to the 1st floor in the lift. I couldn't escape. It was so disrespectful towards me. I was very unhappy.

At night, I only wanted to eat my 3rd supper. No big deal ya. Ah ma suggested they should buy me a pacifier so I can suck on it like a baby. Gasp. The insinuations!

I must call the SPCA to report ah ma.

 

Good

November 2nd 2010 7:21 am
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I learnt today my sugar mummy went for surgery yesterday to drain the fluid out of her ear flap. And they did a dental scaling while she was out too. Now she's got on her head gear. I hope mummy is feeling alright and will take better care of herself from now.

I love my sugar mummy.

 

Messy day

November 1st 2010 9:10 am
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It was late afternoon when we discovered ah ma had been having diarrhoea and throwing up all afternoon. And Jelyn the maid too. We were merciless in scolding ah ma for eating leftovers for lunch. Only ah ma was too weak to listen. It was time for my dinner when fomfomfom rushed out to buy charcoal pills for the food-poisoned. It was all very messy coz my routine cannot be disturbed. Cha fed me and it was surreal.

Then I went down and licked mouldy water that had collected in a tree trunk and fomfomfom scolded me. Ah ma had no dinner for the natives except fried fish and plain rice that they managed to churn out before surrendering to the food poison. Fomfomfom messed up the night salute and I'm sure I'm going to get nightmares. Ah bee gave an artistic flair to the salute but I don't like it.

And ah ma wants cha to have children but forbids fomfomfom from having any.

 

Trick or treat!

October 31st 2010 8:36 am
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Last year I had a hideous little pumpkin but this year everyone seemed to have forgotten about halloween altogether. It wasn't until 11 p.m. when Ah bee said it's a good thing no one came knocking coz we have no candy to drop into their pots. Well, we can always give them Pingping's kibble, she added.

Excuuuuuuse me. Ask them to get their own kibble. Pingping does not share.

 

Ah bee the shit stirrer

October 30th 2010 8:48 am
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Literally.

It was time to empty my anal sacs so she gloved up. The moment she got into position she screamed, "Oh no!! I can feel her poop in there!!"

What. You walk into McDonalds and not expect to find burgers in there? Really.

Plus she really stressed me out so I tensed up and she didn't manage to empty my anal sacs. Twice she tried today and both times she failed. And both times I squealed up a storm. Fomfomfom said the neighbours are going to call the police and say that we are killing a cat in our toilet. And when they come and catch Ah bee and her finger, they are going to charge her under the penal code.

Criminal, that's what this is!

 

A new bottle

October 29th 2010 9:42 am
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Ah ma crushed the plastic bottle that's been sitting around forever and gave it to me. Beams. It's a sands mineral water bottle and it's round. My original bottle is square and it's from the venetian. I love branded bottles and I love ah ma. Ah ma loves me too.

Cha groaned when she saw the 2nd bottle. Maybe she was born without a heart. That's why she doesn't get the warm fuzzy feeling I get when ah ma loves me.

We have to think up some new routines for the 2nd bottle soon. So exciting!

 

The casino ban starts now

October 28th 2010 7:33 am
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Uh oh, luck was not a lady today!

 

Sugar mummy

October 27th 2010 8:54 am
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Yesterday I heard my sugar mummy's ear is all swollen. It's still not good today after medication. We'll bug them on updates tomorrow. I hope she won't have to go for surgery to resolve it.

My poor mummy.

 

They finally got him

October 26th 2010 8:11 am
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Ah ma went to the casino and found out the house has an edge again. She asked ah bee to apply for the casino to ban her from going in. But it must be after thursday, that's when ah ma has a date with the aunties of the family to go rock and roll at the casino.

And paul the oracle octopus has died. RIP.

 
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