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A tax on cha's piggy bank

June 26th 2008 8:06 am
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They were all alarmed at the condition of my skin, now that I've had a haircut and it is easier to see. For one, my moo moo print on my belly is peeling off. Ah bee was horrified. For two, there is this open raw sore on my belly. Fomfomfom wanted to weep. She dialed the vet's for an appointment immediately.

Cha is taking me off pork, kind of like how america was taken off the gold standard in the 1970s. Ill-conceived actions lead to disaster, I warned darkly.

I want to eat pork.

 

Ah bee went to watch sex and the city

June 25th 2008 8:26 am
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I was chasing 2 huskies around the gardens today, dragging fomfomfom behind me. I ran so fast fomfomfom was almost flying. Cha, on the other hand, couldn't care less. She trailed way behind, almost as if she was ashamed of associating with us. I didn't care, I shouted the gardens down. By the time I realised I had forgotten to poop, I was too pooped to poop. Fomfomfom got an earful from cha. She is not to let me chase other dogs before I poop, and certainly not to let me harrass other dogs in future, cha admonished. Well, I don't care.

Later, cha and fomfomfom brought me to have a haircut. I apologised profusely to cha in the car, saying I won't chase other dogs in future, I want to go home, but she won't have it. I was at the mercy of the groomer's for an hour. Fomfomfom was looking at me all that time, we were tearful.

Ah ma says I look like a mouse now. I'm going to chase other dogs tomorrow. Maybe they will think I look awesome and be scared.

 

The good stuff in life are free

June 24th 2008 8:05 am
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I got me some roasted pork by working my big and beautiful eyes on ah bee during dinner. It was delicious, but I threw it up not 10 minutes later. It must have been too oily for my kibble-and-boiled-pork-only stomach. I endeavour to eat more oily food in future so that my stomach may be accustomed to delicacies.

Ah bee bought gold for the first time today, taking my advice. Therefore a tax is only in order. And fomfomfom, her futures positions, precarious they may seem, actually reaped more profits today. I informed her that I will be taxing her, last week's interim tax notwithstanding. I thought it would be more friendly if I call out "annyeong haseyo" whenever I want to collect tax, it means hello in korean. I said hello to fomfomfom many times today. She only waved back weakly.

IRAP. It stands for your friendly neighbourhood internal revenue authority of da ping!

 

End of a tradition

June 23rd 2008 8:14 am
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It was the last mahjong day today. I felt a little sad, coz it's tradition, and it's no more.

Ah ma lost $13.

 

Stupido

June 22nd 2008 8:08 am
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We were at the gardens and saw this couple take a doggie poop bag, which they filled up with fruits they'd filched from the gardens. The poop bags have a warning, saying that food is not to be put inside the bags. They are for poop.

Fomfomfom commented that I wrote the book on stupidity, but the couple topped me. I knew I should have bopped fomfomfom on the face, but I felt strangely complimented.

I hope they get caught by the police for stealing fruit from the gardens. Then they can be featured in the papers and we can laugh loudly.

 

Chinese wolfberries

June 21st 2008 8:19 am
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It was evening, already dark outside. Suddenly the lights went out and the whole house was dark. So dark I couldn't see anything at all. For a moment I thought my eyes had gone. Blindness is scary. But the moment I realised it was a mere blackout, I turned onto my back and waited for fomfomfom to fumble over to give me a belly rub.

A belly rub in the dark is the same as a belly rub in the light, just that I don't have to face the lights in the ceiling and squint. Talking about that, I realise that my eyes are very important. I have been facing the ceiling for my bellyrubs since forever, and my eyes are so big and so much light can enter. I must ask ah ma to make some brew with chinese wolfberries so that I may drink it and it will be good for my eyes.

My big and beautiful eyes.

 

12 stories

June 20th 2008 8:30 am
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I was doing my own thing. Then Ah gong walked by and told me they are going to move house and are not bringing me along. Fomfomfom told me she will leave ah gong behind and bring me.

Talking about moving house, it will be in about 3 weeks' time. We will be moving to an apartment 12 stories above the ground. I was apprehensive, coz I am scared of heights, but fomfomfom told me it is all with me in mind. It's coz I'm so short, that I can't do a lot of housework, so fomfomfom told me that now we're going to stay so high in the sky, I can't use my lack of height as an excuse not to do housework. There's enough height for anything.

Then we were in the porch enjoying the moonlight, and fomfomfom jumped and said, sigh, not tall enough. Still can't touch the moon. Will try again 3 weeks later 12 stories high, maybe can touch the moon.

 

The investor side of me

June 19th 2008 8:55 am
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Today I was thinking, I was rather uncomfortable with fomfomfom's investment. I thought she should liquidate it and take her profit and be done with it. So I spoke to her, but she couldn't be bothered. Too lazy to even take a profit!

As I tax all profits in the house, I certainly don't want to see her profits evaporate should the market turn. Therefore, I decided to extract my tax and leave her to herself. If her profits evaporate, it would be her own problem then. If she makes a bigger profit, I can tax her again.

Satisfied, I addressed my other concern. I told fomfomfom, it has come to my attention that I haven't been receiving much gold in taxes of late. Perhaps you should be buying some?

Fomfomfom agreed to consider my proposal and I was satisfied again.

 

Boring...

June 18th 2008 8:18 am
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It was such a boring day I don't know what to write. But my mamas always want me to write something down everyday. Maybe it is to practice my handwriting.

So I went to the gardens in the morning and I was happy so I wagged my tail. I had pork for lunch, which was such a treat after all that kibbling, so I wagged my tail.

Then I didn't wag my tail for the rest of the day coz I had nothing to do. It was raining and I couldn't even go out to watch passersby. Cha showed ah ma a close-up photo of me smiling, ah ma was so delighted coz I was so pretty in the photo. She and fomfomfom couldn't stop googoogaga-ing over the photo, but I thought it was nothing and I almost fell asleep amidst all that excitement.

I'm going to bed now.

 

A day of revelations

June 17th 2008 8:28 am
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We went to the gardens early in the morning today and it set me thinking. It's a good time to go, it's cool and the ground is not too hot. In my quest to improve myself, I had resolved to question the root of all things, and I thought, why isn't it hot in the morning? The answer finally hit me, earthshattering in its impact. There is no sun at night! Therefore, early in the morning, the ground would be cool! And just like that, I knew my life would be the better for it.

Fomfom waxed lyrical to me about how life is, she asked me how my life is turning out so far. I sighed and informed her, it's a dog's life.

At night, me, fomfomfom and ah bee went out onto the porch to enjoy the moonlight. There were lots of clouds around the moon, but the moon was bright and shone through the clouds. It was a rare sight. Fomfomfom was excited and told ah bee to come see it, the clouds in front of the moon, and behind the moon too. Ah bee said, oh.

Clouds behind the moon?

 
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