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Of twins, triplets and tuna belly sushi

September 3rd 2008 8:56 am
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Today fomfomfom and cha walked me together in red t shirts and we met the old man who exercises everyday, rain or shine. He asked fomfomfom if she and cha were twins. Fomfomfom was shocked and said no. Later she whispered to cha that it was ok when people thought they were twins when they were like 5 years old. But not when they're nearing 30. Then they hatched a plot to get ah bee to join them wearing a red tshirt too, then they will look for the old man and see if he will faint. Maybe he will think the exercise is getting to him, he's seeing triple. Giggles. So we waited for ah bee to come back, alas, she was wearing white.

Fomfomfom posed a tricky question to me the other day. She asked me what kind of sushi I was. I thought for a while, then I told her I'm tuna belly sushi. Bellly sushi is most expensive, and I thought I am priceless, so that is close enough, though not exactly it. And also coz I like belly. Like pork belly. And my own belly. I like people to rub my belly. Therefore, I think I have affinity with bellies so I am tuna belly sushi.

But I won't eat tuna belly sushi myself. It'll be, like, eating myself, that'll be almost cannibalistic. I might end up with mad tuna belly disease.

 

Unhappy

September 2nd 2008 2:35 am
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I refused to let fomfomfom clean my ears today. It wasn't so much the left ear that I object to, but the right one. I screamed and shouted beneath my muzzle, and I twisted my head so as to make fomfomfom's life difficult. She even engaged cha's help but I persevered and came out the winner. So she didn't clean my right ear.

Ah ma said the next time I go to cut my hair, I should change a style. Something feminine. A longer style. Something pretty. But ah ma always goes ballistic when my hair is long and dirty. The culprit is a magazine she found today It's got these japanese shih-tzus who have long hair. I am plotting to destroy that magazine before ah ma gets too far carried away.

 

Cha told me to be a tour guide but I prefer to be light soy- sauce

September 1st 2008 8:39 am
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I went to the vet's today. While the vet was busy undergoing unpleasant business with me, the reception called out my name. My bill was ready. It was record time. We used to have to wait for the bill, now it's done even before I was done. Unfortunately, fomfomfom was not done yet. They had gotten ahead of themselves. I wasn't finished grumbling when I saw the resident shih tzu busy schmoozing. Cosying up to the clientele and garnering business, no doubt. This place has become too sleek, I told fomfomfom and cha. We will not come back. I was resolute and principled.

It was as if they hadn't heard me. They gathered me up unceremoniously. We went home. Oh, what is the use of free speech if no one would listen? The damage done to my fragile psyche is too much. Will I lose my principles thence? My unwavering resoluteness? Will I even start...*gasp*...schmoozing? The thought of it....moral prostitution.....oh, it is too much.

Better that I chain myself to the wall and refuse all food and drink, before I degenerate irreversibly.Oh, life is much too harsh.

 

I can count in malay!

August 31st 2008 8:32 am
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I was in the lift today with fomfomfom, and a man. He asked fomfomfom if I were a maltese. Fomfomfom informed him I'm a shih-tzu. I went home and cha arrived home shortly after. So I complained to her bitterly about that ignorant man in the lift. I told her, malteses are white. I am du-er colored. Sa-tu, du-er. Du-er colored.

Fomfomfom praised me for speaking malay well. Oh, and what a pun! I am dual colored! She repeated my pun to ah bee and I puffed my chest proudly. I don't know if that was an eye-roll I saw from ah bee. Perhaps it was admiration.

At night, cha turned in real early, coz it was already midnight in New Zealand by then. I stuck around with the motley crew of ah ma, ah bee and fomfomfom and when it was time for me to sleep, I was unsettled that ah bee wasn't sleeping with me tonight. When ah bee left my room, I chased after her and licked her hand to tell her to stay, but after some fussing, I was still abandoned.

I sleep with cha tonight.

 

How lucky

August 30th 2008 9:15 am
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Today, fomfomfom and ah bee entirely fortuitously discovered ah gong had ignorantly exposed himself to unlimited liability. They were so horrified they chewed him up for hours. After they were done, ah ma had her turn. They spat him out only coz cha is coming back from New Zealand tomorrow and she will need to chew him up too. She'll probably swallow him whole after that.

Fomfomfom and ah bee told me if we go bankrupt, I'll have to go around with them begging for money and food. Kind of like the beggars ah bee saw in france. The beggars brought their pedigree dogs out to beg with them, it was heartbreaking.

I thought I can also hire myself out as a gofer. I'll invest in a little wagon and I can go to the train station everyday to help families buy groceries, coz there is no provision store inside the condo. Then I'll give my shopping list to the grocery auntie and tell her to fill my wagon for me. Meanwhile, I can dance for tips coz the human traffic at the train station is very high. I will have a little bowl people can put money in. Later I will deliver the groceries door-to-door. I can earn a little pocket money this way.

Then ah bee tried to feed me my kibble and I only ate one coz I thought we should scrimp if we can. My kibble is expensive. When we go bankrupt, we can boil my kibble for soup and the whole family can have some. The soup will be thin but beggars can't be choosers.

I felt a little better when ah ma said she won't let anyone take away my shoebox. My life savings are in it.

 

I met nygak nygak nygak again today!

August 29th 2008 7:53 am
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Of course we watched Pandamonium again. I told ah ma to buy me one of the baby pandas so I can play with her and make her call me mama, but ah ma said she didn't think they were for sale. It's a pity. Then ah ma thought the pandas were so dirty and wondered why the keepers didn't give them a scrubbing, like how ah ma scrubs me every week without fail.

I think the pandas should stay where they are and not wander about, in case ah ma gets her hands on them.

 

He gets Points for trying

August 28th 2008 7:12 am
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Ah ma looked ghastly this morning. We learnt that she had been up half the night vomitting, having diarrhoea and feeling unwell. Later she was better after she threw up the rest of the rubbish in her stummy and went shopping with fomfomfom. Of course it was fomfomfom who had to do the hauling of the 20kg of rice they brought back.

At night we watched Pandamonium again. This episode was all about the pandas mating.*blush* The commentator did a beautiful alliteration. He said, this planet's precious pandas. I love the letter P. Let me come up with one myself. This planet's pretty precious priceless pulchritudinous Ping Ping!

*bow*

 

My accomplishment

August 27th 2008 7:57 am
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I had a bath today. Then fomfomfom tried to clean out my ears, and in the unpleasantness, I fell off my perch and into the bath-tub. I was terribly frightened, so I pawed my muzzle off. And fomfomfom only managed to clean out my ears halfway coz I won't let her continue.

She felt so bad about my tumbling into the bath-tub backwards that she gave me a treat. It's pig stummy. They were having pig stummy soup tonight so I got me a nice helping of pork and pig stummy. Yum.

Later ah ma invited me to sit on the sofa with her to watch Pandamonium. I jumped onto the safa and was settling down when I felt something descend upon my head. So I turned around and bit... ah ma's hand. Oops. So it was ah ma trying to kiss my head. I tried to explain to ah ma that since she never kisses me, I thought it was a tiger attacking me, so I had to defend myself. If she would kiss me more often in future, I won't be so alarmed. That didn't cut no ice with ah ma and I earned me 3 slaps on my head.

Oh well, at least ah ma tries to kiss me now. She used to scold my mamas for kissing me. Beam.

 

Pandamonium II

August 26th 2008 8:35 am
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We watched Pandamonium again tonight. I learnt that the panda I was trying to imitate last night, the one who gave birth on tv yesterday, had died in the Sichuan earthquake 3 months ago. The show was filmed only 1 month before she died. I was rather upset. Her poor baby is now an orphan.

I think by now most people have already forgotten about that terrible earthquake. I was guilty. It is a cruel world, and I think I don't want to be reincarnated any more. It's better not to exist and in this aspect, I have made a pact with fomfomfom. Our last lives! Glee.

That is my resolve and with that out of the way, I must comment on something. Do you know the baby pandas must be burped like a human baby? I wanted to laugh at them but out of politeness, I put my hand to my mouth and tried very hard not to laugh. Giggles.

 

I met a broom downstairs and it didn't get out of my way so- I had to walk around it

August 25th 2008 7:39 am
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Today cha brought out her luggage and I knew she was going somewhere for a few days. I don't like to see the luggage bag. But since she wasn't going to be stopped, I did the next best thing. I asked to be a stowaway.I told cha I wanted to stowaway in first class. But the luggage was already closed and locked and cha sadly told me there was no opening this time so we'll do the stowaway thing next time. I said ok. I asked her why she packed a bag in her bag, and she said she's going to buy me back a sheep, and the bag is for packing it in. I was happy again.

At night me and fomfomfom and ah ma were watching tv. It's a documentary about pandas, and it's called Pandamonium. Giggles. The pandas were so cute, they look like me. And I watched one give birth, the baby looked like a mouse. Later I tried to give birth too, I lay on my side on the sofa and opened my legs wide, but nothing happened. I don't understand it. And everyone laughed at me. I feel so discouraged.

 
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