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The reason why no matter which house we're in, fomfomfom's- room is always my toilet

November 19th 2008 7:47 am
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I remembered some things today. Like how fomfomfom didn't feed me milk when I was only one month old so that even now, I'm smaller than my siblings.

At the thought of that, I walked into fomfomfom's room and shat on the floor. The room was dark and as planned, fomfomfom stepped right on my poo. What wasn't planned was, fomfomfom thought she had stepped on water and didn't look and stepped all over the house leaving poop all over.

Ah ma gave her a scolding of course and my anger was assuaged. At least until the next time I decide to poo in her room again.

 

Fat maggot

November 18th 2008 5:42 am
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We finally collected the last of the canvas portraits today. Everyone laughed at me and said I looked like I was getting my mug shot done in the portrait. They had a debate whether I was looking into the camera and ah bee finally concluded I was cock eyed and no one can tell.

Later in the afternoon the man from the management office came. It was about water dripping onto our neighbour below. We had tried to fix the problem twice before and it's still there so obviously it's not our problem. The man was squirmy and lazy and tried to worm his way out of doing his job so he incurred the ire of cha. Fomfomfom declared she detested him mightily since a long time ago. Ah bee too. And ah gong, poor ah gong was chased out of the management office by this miserable maggot of a man when he went there for some official business. The maggot said no entry for anyone but employees. And his friends and cronies of course.

I wonder if the maggot knows we're the ones paying his salary.

 

My doughnut was desserted

November 17th 2008 5:24 am
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I went to the vet's today and met the resident shih tzu, who must be the 2nd most loved doggie in the world, after me, of course. Everyone just grabs her and gives her some lovin'. Anyway, I saw her dog tag and it read "camote", which must be her name. Strange, we thought her name was maugh maugh. They must have been calling her mote mote or something.

I didn't think much of her name, I guess it only scores in the creativity and not the poetic department. A security guard who came in with a poor abandoned shaved dog thought so too, for he picked camote up and called her potato. I think potato suits her.

I watched tv last night and this korean woman was singing a song with her daughter. It went something like, I want to be ketchup, I am a tomato. Well, I think camote will want to be a french fry since she is a potato. I will be the tomato and we will be good friends, like the french fry and the ketchup.

The vet woman cracked my tartar and I wasn't happy so I didn't let her complete her cracking. She said she'll continue doing it the next time I visit so I won't have to do dental scaling.

Seeing I was so upset, fomfomfom and ah bee brought me to the botanical gardens. I haven't been there for a few months, so I was happy again. But we met some strange tourists who wanted to hold my leash. Ah bee whispered to fomfomfom that they'll have to take her down first.

All sorts of strange people in the world. Zero etiquette.

 

Shiu Shiu is still wet and he is black again

November 16th 2008 5:44 am
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Ah ma was trying desperately to dry shiu shiu so she put it out on the balcony first thing in the morning. But I was like a bloodhound. No matter how high ah ma put shiu shiu, I could sniff it out within minutes. Ah ma was so impressed and delighted with my skills she let me have shiu shiu. Then I put shiu shiu under my neck and took a nap. I was assured of shiu shiu's safety that way.

And I'm glad cha came back today. Ah bee always makes me angry when she doesn't sleep and the lights don't go off. And sometimes ah bee plays crazy daisy late at night and I'm sleeping and I have to lift my head in disbelief and stare at her.

It is straining our relationship.

 

Poor shiu shiu

November 15th 2008 8:25 am
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I realised this morning ah ma had given shiu shiu a bath. I saw shiu shiu hanging on the clothesline and I demanded the indignity be stopped immediately but ah ma threatened to hang me on the clothesline too.

To distract me, fomfomfom cut open the mini melon that ah ma had grown. It is organic and hokkaido and unfortunately grown in singapore. It had stopped growing after reaching the size of a tennis ball. It tasted melony but not sweet. Not bad, I guess.

In the evening, Ah ma had shiu shiu moved to another corner for drying so that I won't be able to find him, but I found him anyway and insisted ah ma give me shiu shiu or I would bark the house down. Of course I got my way. But shiu shiu was terribly wet and his hair was messy. I had ah ma give him a blow dry with the hair dryer but I wasn't pleased with the results. Perhaps tomorrow I will ask fomfomfom to dry him with curlers and the works.

And oh oh, I met an aggressive cat this afternoon. I was sniffing around the bushes coz I smelled cat and suddenly this ugly thing jumped out and I retreated and barked in alarm and the thing jumped back into the bushes again. All in a split second. When I turned, I found fomfomfom with her heart in her mouth.

So useless.

 

Anatomically speaking

November 14th 2008 6:01 am
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Ah bee framed up my arm using her fingers and told fomfomfom, that looks like a chicken wing. Then she framed up my thigh and said, that looks like a chicken leg.

And when ah bee scratches my cheek, she tells fomfomfom, look at pingping's cheeks. Fomfomfom would crow, cheeks! Cheeks! The cheek of pingping! Oh, the cheek of you!

Sometimes I think the 2 of them are a little strange. I can only hope cha comes back from her vacation soon.

 

Moo moo monster drink hot tea

November 13th 2008 6:39 am
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Ah ma came back from her gambling spree today. I wagged my tail and told her, ah bee beat me. Ah ma was all cooing at me and patting me and she said, we'll ignore ah bee and ah ma will sleep with pingping tonight. Coz ah bee sleeps late and I lose my temper when the lights are not switched off. Ah ma loves me and I love ah ma.

Then we immediately settled down to watch taiwanese news. I was surprised to learn of chen shui bian's arrest. He had been arrested for 3 days and no one told me! The outrage. See what happens when ah ma is not around to watch the news with me.

Fomfomfom and ah bee are unsatisfactory baby-sitters. I have so much to complain to ah ma about.

 

Doggone it

November 12th 2008 5:47 am
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I was just lounging, and fomfomfom said, look at that doggone face. Ah bee kept repeating it and they looked at me and laughed loudly. I got angry so I thought when ah ma calls home at night, I would tell her, fomfomfom and ah bee beat me.

When ah ma comes back tomorrow, she will then starve the 2 of them for an appropriate number of days. Then we'll look at their doggone faces.

 

Ah ma and cha are away

November 11th 2008 8:10 am
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I got hold of a cheesy horoscope book from cha's desk. It tells of my fate for 2009 and of course I was interested. So I am a sagittarius. My deepest need is to....hmm....expand mentally. My strongest virtue is my tremendous vision. No doubt due to my big and beautiful eyes.

I am most helpful to fomfomfom's sign financially, whereas ah bee is most helpful to me financially.My virtue is generosity, yet I must avoid being too generous with other people's money. I think this book is hinting I'm taking ah bee's money and giving it to fomfomfom.

When I read that I am over optimistic and that I tend to exaggerate, ah bee applauded. She whispered to fomfomfom that my enthusiasm for life every morning at 730am is rather overwhelming.

I told ah bee, my over optimism is complementary to your pessimism. You need me. Now let's sleep so that when we wake up, it's 730.

 

Bumble bumble

November 10th 2008 7:22 am
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It's Ah ma's birthday today. I don't know how old she is because I can't count that high. But happy birthday Ah ma!

It rained all morning and all afternoon. I waited and waited but no one brought me down for my walk. I was in a bad mood all day. Until Fomfomfom brought me down at about four. It was still drizzling but we went down anyway. I heart Fomfomfom deep deep. We walked for 45 minutes and then Ah bee took over and we walked for another 45 minutes. I'm still a little shortchanged because I didn't get to walk in the morning but I guess I'll settle.

Cha and Ah ma were screaming something about the toiletbowl. It wasn't pleasant so Ah bee and I, we went to hide in the dark. Of course there was nothing to do in the dark so I got a bellyrub. Speaking of bellyrubs, the toothless security guard downstairs gives very good massages. I almost flipped on my back today for him to give me a belly rub but Fomfomfom threatened to wallop me if I did. She thinks it's not polite. I can't help it if everyone adores me.

And Fomfomfom was playing Flight of the Bumblebee just now. I told Ah bee that I am the Bumble in that song and for obvious reasons, she is the bee. She said it is mildly funny.

She's just holding herself back, that's all.

 
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