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I can't help it if I'm short

November 2nd 2008 7:40 am
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Ah bee owes Cha $322.08. I told Cha that I would pay the 8 cents on Ah bee's behalf. But Ah bee told me that she only has 8 cents and she needs me to bail her out. So I need to come up with $322. But I don't have $322. Not even if I empty out my shoebox. Now I know how Ah Jek felt. I needed to touch Ah ma for that spot of money.

And I could have gotten it if not for my height. Ah ma was giving me a bellyrub and she told me that I have to give her a shoulder massage. I would have used that to ask her for the money but I can't reach her shoulders.

Do you think she'll settle for a toe lick instead?

 

I farted all night

November 1st 2008 10:30 am
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It was raining when I woke up. But I had to go down to pee so we went when it was drizzling. It was so cold I was shivering less than 15 minutes into my walk so we went home.

Then it was sweltering in the afternoon. I don't understand the weather at all.

At night ah bee wanted to take a nap so she kept my milkstick under her armpit so I won't be chewing at it unsupervised. Now it tastes sour.

 

Tweek or tweet

October 31st 2008 8:34 am
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It is halloween today and i got a treat. Ah ma made some tonic soup and I got egg yolk, black chicken and some very tasty egg white for supper. Fomfomfom said if it doesn't kill me, it will be very good for me. I agreed enthusiastically.

Fomfomfom always tells cha to hang her wet underwear in her room at night so that there will be moisture and her skin won't dry out. She egged cha to hang the wet stuff closer and closer to her bed until cha offered to drape her wet panties on her face when she sleeps so that there will be maximum hydration. Fomfomfom was nodding approvingly at the idea until cha tells her that it will make her skin drier. Something about the heat from the face will be absorbed and whatnot. All that scientific stuff.

Later, cha whispered to me she saw a flicker of sudden horror cross fomfomfom's face. We high fived and agreed fomfomfom won't be applying her wet panties on her face tonight.

 

Ppp and ppp

October 30th 2008 6:42 am
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Fomfomfom and ah bee were talking last night about how old they feel. I arrived in january 2004, so the time before that was pre-pingping(they were young) and time after was post-pingping(and then they are old). I giggled in a corner as the old bags reminisced and later fomfomfom said, yo, benchmark, time for bed.

I'm a benchmark! But I thought that was appropriate, coz I'm black and white. Demarcation is clear and no grey areas.

I'm a very clear benchmark. With a bit of pink.

 

Still too loud

October 29th 2008 7:45 am
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I remembered I had a play date,so I went downstairs on time. But my playmates didn't show up. I was a little upset until I heard someone cry on the second floor. I thought perhaps they were being punished and their mother didn't allow them to come down. I thought, there are times to be sympathetic and times to be angry. This time, I was sympathetic.

It was the other way round at home. Everyone was angry at ah gong coz he was too free and had come up with a hare brained idea that promised to blow up in future. Apparently the day of reckoning had come for our self-styled hedge fund relative and things were getting delusional, undignified, shameless and suicidal.

I shan't go on coz it's so silly it's not worth a moment more of my time.

 

Too loud

October 28th 2008 6:19 am
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I met niki and his 2 sisters. But they were stuck on the balcony on the 2nd floor, so we were shouting to each other and we have a date for tomorrow. We will play together on the 1st floor instead of shouting.

Then I met Lightning. She is only 8 months old. Such a baby, and such a loud voice. I was a little scared of her. She seems a little rabid. I wanted fomfomfom to carry me home after 5 minutes with her, she's rather exhausting.

The water feature broke down and was leaking all over the place. Cha bought a new one with disco lights and maybe it will bring us better fortune than the leaking one.

And these days, they are talking very loudly in the house. They all seem rather agitated. Fomfomfom seems to have no end of swear words, and they seem to be all directed at a third auntie, or a third uncle, or maybe both, since the vulgarities were plenty to spread around. Maybe we don't like 3rd relatives.

 

Mexican jumping bean

October 27th 2008 7:47 am
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I was surprised to meet a shih tzu I'd never seen before today. But I have seen her owner around so she must have been staying at home most of the time. Anyway, her name is dou dou, it means bean. But I don't know what kind of bean she is.

There might be a reason why I don't see her around. Maybe she has no leash. Her owners were 2 kids being chaperoned by a maid, and they had attached a karabiner to her collar, and then attached some thin string to the karabiner. It was so funny, and coz dou dou tried to pounce on me, the kids had to hold on tight to her string. While the collar wasn't causing dou dou particular pain, the string was cutting into the owners' hands and we thought this motley gang of kids, maid and bean were cute.

Maybe I will buy dou dou a leash. Then we can meet and play together everyday.

 

Egg yolk is like a moon

October 26th 2008 9:13 am
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It is apparently fomfomfom's birthday today. I was confused, coz I remembered her birthday as a different date. Ah ma told me it's her lunar birthday. Well, I thought maybe i'll wait till it's her solar birthday before I sing her a birthday song. Besides, I need time to learn the song. I want to be able to present fomfomfom with the traditional chinese birthday song.

And since it was a birthday, we had noodles and eggs. Ah ma gave me an egg yolk. And I thought i'll pretend it's my lunar birthday every mon, wed and fri so we can all eat eggs all the time.

 

Sorrow Part III

October 25th 2008 10:56 am
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The good thing is I didn't have a sorrowful day; Fomfomfom was the one. And it was real sorrowful too, if you ask me. It's okay Fomfomfom, today didn't happen. Your day got swallowed up in a black hole.

Mine didn't. Today we met Ngak ngak ngak. Ngak ngak ngak is a girl and her name is Lightning. Lightning! That is a very cute name, but it's not very appropriate. She's so obviously a Thunder. Yes, she is. And I was thinking, maybe, maybe I should call myself Tzu-nami-koh. Giggles.

 

Sorrow Part II

October 24th 2008 7:40 am
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It was a sorrowful start to a day. I woke up, tail waggin'. I looked at cha expectantly, only to be told it's raining. No morning walk. I went out to look at ah ma sorrowfully, but it was still raining. Fomfomfom woke up and I looked at her sorrowfully, only to be told fomfomfom can't stand the misery and so she went out to escape my sorrow and have her morning cuppa.

Ah bee woke up after noon and I looked at her sorrowfully. Only this time it worked and fomfomfom told ah bee she had broken 2 toes and dumped me on ah bee. So ah bee brought me downstairs for my walk and I was happy again.

When I came back, I was full of happiness and I went out to the balcony to survey my kingdom 12 storeys below and lo and behold! A pot! It was a rare sight so I went to eat the soil, which was, happily, freshly fertilised. Fomfomfom caught me and ah ma was alerted and I got a half hearted mouth wiping from fomfomfom. Then I picked up ah ma's slipper and ran off to show my displeasure and ah ma chased me with the other slipper and finally enticed me with half a sweet potato that I deigned to barter for.

Later, as I waited for my afternoon walk, I followed fomfomfom all around as a reminder. But it didn't happen and I was sorrowful again. So my day started and ended with sorrow and it is a regrettable day.

 
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