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Stinky fart

November 15th 2010 9:00 am
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I was sleeping on my magic buttons when I let out a fart. It smelled real bad and it just won't go away. So I barked and said begone you stinker!

Except it didn't work and everyone laughed at me and called me a silly girl.

What lah. I wasn't about to sit in my own fart like an idiot.



November 14th 2010 8:03 am
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Oh oh something happened today. We were walking downstairs when we were attacked. Someone threw a ball of wet toilet paper at us! We assumed that was for us since there was no one nearby. He missed of course and it struck Uncle Dave's car. Uncle is not going to be happy when he finds out.

We didn't see who threw it but it's really not funny. It's gotta hurt when you throw it from that kinda height; it made a really loud thud when it hit the car.

Stupido. Don't let me catch you.


Bee who?

November 13th 2010 8:55 am
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Today fomfomfom and cha brought me to have a haircut early in the morning. They ordered a classic shih-tzu 'do for me, and now I'm bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I don't like standing on the groomer's table for 2 hours. That's why when we were finally done, in my excitement, I ran to fomfomfom and knocked my head on a coffee table. It was loud and everyone grimaced and cha declared, "It sounded hollow."

At night fomfomfom returned with a stranger and I wondered hard who it was. Her stench is familiar but I simply cannot recall. It must have been that knock on the head that caused this amnesia.

Maybe I can sleep this amnesia thing off.


Shih-tzu mop

November 12th 2010 7:28 am
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They called me a shih-tzu mop and called me stubborn. They made it sound like it's all my fault. Fomfomfom is the one mopping the various lobbies with me. And cha. She mops the road with me.

It is abuse.


They used to say I'm the best

November 11th 2010 4:11 am
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Now they are saying I'm a beast!


A very special day

November 10th 2010 6:53 am
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This is the day when my birthday and ah ma's birthday collide. Beams. But we didn't get any presents. Boo.

In my evening walk, I killed an iguana. That makes 2! In my long and uneventful career, that is. It's hard to go hunting with a clumsy person leashed to me, but the gods must have made me a concession on this special day. I got it in my teeth and I shook it all around and fomfomfom was screaming at me and hammering me over my head with her magazine. I think the kid there was on the verge of calling the police for doggie abuse.

Then fomfomfom stopped loving me for the night. :( Ah ma loved me, though, coz it's our special day. Beams.


Kim chi pickled brain

November 9th 2010 6:40 am
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Ah bee kept calling back today from wherever she is, hoping to catch ah ma so she may wish ah ma happy birthday. What a nice daughter, I imagine people thinking.

Only it's not ah ma's birthday today. Duh.



November 8th 2010 7:27 am
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Fomfomfom's watching this thing called dirty rock. I don't understand it, but she giggles when she watches it, i suspect it's something dirty.

I must tell ah ma.


The idiot hock

November 7th 2010 7:33 am
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The lousy weekend security guard came praising me loudly, good boy! Fomfomfom did not respond, of course, so he changed tack and asked, good boy or good girl? What a wit. Fomfomfom stiffly told him good girl, and he came to touch my eyes. Luckily he ran away fast enough, or else fomfomfom would have mauled him. He's probably not getting another chance to come near me again. I hope.

It occurs to me I haven't seen ah bee the entire day. Ah ma says she's gone to the land of dramatic serials. Oh well.


Help get him away from me.

November 6th 2010 9:13 am
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Cha told Ah gong that I have the cognition of a three year old child. I'm a little insulted coz I am definitely way better but that is not the point of this story.

So anyway, my Ah gong said, "Really! Then she understands what we are saying." Cha nodded proudly.

Something in my Ah gong's head clicked and he decided he will start chanting some Buddhist sutras to me. Maybe she can be a human in her next life, he said.

I listened to him coz he was giving me a belly rub. But he's not as good as Ah ma so I ran away from him. But he followed me into the room and continued chanting.

They don't know whether to laugh or to scold him.

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