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Ah ma goes marketing

November 6th 2008 8:03 am
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I went for my walk this morning and suddenly I wanted to inspect the lift so ah bee obligingly held the lift for me to sniff. And what do I smell but....ah ma!

I followed ah ma's smell in the air and bounded to the carpark, and there ah ma was! She was about to get into the car with fomfomfom. I caught them and ah ma beamed and praised me for being a clever girl. Everyone fussed over me and I was real happy.

It was a wonderful start to a day.

 

All the better to see you with

November 5th 2008 5:38 am
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Ah ma made soup tonight. It is for brightening eyes, ah ma informed me. And they all had some, and I had none.

Of course I was having none of it. Both from their perspective and mine. I told ah bee, while she was having the soup, ah bee, ah bee, my eyes are so big but they have lost some of their lustre due to lack of nutrition. Can I have some of that eye brightening soup?

Of course I can.

 

Bye bye yellow boots uncle

November 4th 2008 6:56 am
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This morning I met the yellow boots uncle. He wasn't in his usual working t shirt and yellow boots. He told me he'd found a better job elsewhere, and I was happy for him. He was always the friendliest to me since I moved here and I will miss him.

I hope he will be happier in his new job.

 

Happy Birthday ah ma!

November 3rd 2008 7:16 am
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It is ah ma's birthday today and everyone got to eat birthday noodles. But they forgot to give me an egg yolk so I was a little unhappy. Nonetheless I have only good wishes for my ah ma coz ah ma loves me and I love ah ma.

Everyone is saying I look like a dirty little cat. Then I was a little confused and my mood wasn't good. So I bit ah bee when she tried to take away my tissue paper. The blood flowed down her finger and I thought a cat can't possibly achieve that feat, so I strutted and told ah bee, you. are. the. cat.

I am a doggie.

 

I can't help it if I'm short

November 2nd 2008 7:40 am
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Ah bee owes Cha $322.08. I told Cha that I would pay the 8 cents on Ah bee's behalf. But Ah bee told me that she only has 8 cents and she needs me to bail her out. So I need to come up with $322. But I don't have $322. Not even if I empty out my shoebox. Now I know how Ah Jek felt. I needed to touch Ah ma for that spot of money.

And I could have gotten it if not for my height. Ah ma was giving me a bellyrub and she told me that I have to give her a shoulder massage. I would have used that to ask her for the money but I can't reach her shoulders.

Do you think she'll settle for a toe lick instead?

 

I farted all night

November 1st 2008 10:30 am
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It was raining when I woke up. But I had to go down to pee so we went when it was drizzling. It was so cold I was shivering less than 15 minutes into my walk so we went home.

Then it was sweltering in the afternoon. I don't understand the weather at all.

At night ah bee wanted to take a nap so she kept my milkstick under her armpit so I won't be chewing at it unsupervised. Now it tastes sour.

 

Tweek or tweet

October 31st 2008 8:34 am
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It is halloween today and i got a treat. Ah ma made some tonic soup and I got egg yolk, black chicken and some very tasty egg white for supper. Fomfomfom said if it doesn't kill me, it will be very good for me. I agreed enthusiastically.

Fomfomfom always tells cha to hang her wet underwear in her room at night so that there will be moisture and her skin won't dry out. She egged cha to hang the wet stuff closer and closer to her bed until cha offered to drape her wet panties on her face when she sleeps so that there will be maximum hydration. Fomfomfom was nodding approvingly at the idea until cha tells her that it will make her skin drier. Something about the heat from the face will be absorbed and whatnot. All that scientific stuff.

Later, cha whispered to me she saw a flicker of sudden horror cross fomfomfom's face. We high fived and agreed fomfomfom won't be applying her wet panties on her face tonight.

 

Ppp and ppp

October 30th 2008 6:42 am
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Fomfomfom and ah bee were talking last night about how old they feel. I arrived in january 2004, so the time before that was pre-pingping(they were young) and time after was post-pingping(and then they are old). I giggled in a corner as the old bags reminisced and later fomfomfom said, yo, benchmark, time for bed.

I'm a benchmark! But I thought that was appropriate, coz I'm black and white. Demarcation is clear and no grey areas.

I'm a very clear benchmark. With a bit of pink.

 

Still too loud

October 29th 2008 7:45 am
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I remembered I had a play date,so I went downstairs on time. But my playmates didn't show up. I was a little upset until I heard someone cry on the second floor. I thought perhaps they were being punished and their mother didn't allow them to come down. I thought, there are times to be sympathetic and times to be angry. This time, I was sympathetic.

It was the other way round at home. Everyone was angry at ah gong coz he was too free and had come up with a hare brained idea that promised to blow up in future. Apparently the day of reckoning had come for our self-styled hedge fund relative and things were getting delusional, undignified, shameless and suicidal.

I shan't go on coz it's so silly it's not worth a moment more of my time.

 

Too loud

October 28th 2008 6:19 am
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I met niki and his 2 sisters. But they were stuck on the balcony on the 2nd floor, so we were shouting to each other and we have a date for tomorrow. We will play together on the 1st floor instead of shouting.

Then I met Lightning. She is only 8 months old. Such a baby, and such a loud voice. I was a little scared of her. She seems a little rabid. I wanted fomfomfom to carry me home after 5 minutes with her, she's rather exhausting.

The water feature broke down and was leaking all over the place. Cha bought a new one with disco lights and maybe it will bring us better fortune than the leaking one.

And these days, they are talking very loudly in the house. They all seem rather agitated. Fomfomfom seems to have no end of swear words, and they seem to be all directed at a third auntie, or a third uncle, or maybe both, since the vulgarities were plenty to spread around. Maybe we don't like 3rd relatives.

 
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