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The maid

November 24th 2010 7:52 am
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I was sitting by the post box when rusty's maid came and sat beside me. Then the young lady boss, sexily dressed in short shorts and big fancy fashion sunglasses, came back with her boyfriend and went towards the lift. The maid called for her attention and here is the subsequent conversation.

Maid: Oi.
Girl: What you doing here?
Maid: Sitting lah. Dancing ah?
Girl: Give me the key. Hurry up. I want to shit.
Maid: Wait lah. I want to buy bread.

All 3 went merrily to shop to buy bread. I love to see a happy family that includes a maid.

 

Like, yums

November 23rd 2010 6:52 am
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Finally there's a change to my drab diet. Ah ma fried a whole white pomfret for my dinner today. I got it on white rice and a few drops of soy sauce. It was, like, yums. I've placed an order for it once a week, for, like, forever.

Like, yums.

 

End of holiday

November 22nd 2010 6:34 am
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Ah bee's finally gone back to work. 2 weeks of play and no work has made her a lazybones. I kicked her when I walked by. Now perhaps I'll get back some respect for her.

It's looking good. It's almost eleven and she's still not back.

 

So so bad

November 21st 2010 7:52 am
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I fear for my Ah gong. He doesn't know to shut up. They were out today and he stared at this lady in a tube dress. Then he said to Ah bee, "You know she's twice your size but I don't think she's too fat."

It was a good thing the lady didn't see him staring or hear what he said coz if I were her, I would have socked him.

Then later he saw another lady and he said to himself only too loudly, "Too skinny!" This time, she heard him and she turned around and glared at him.

What with the recent spat of teenage gang related incidents, someone needs to tell him to shut the trap up.

 

One star

November 20th 2010 11:44 am
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Happy to report that after last month's unhappy attempts at emptying my anal sacs, it was swift and less unpleasant this time.

Ah bee thought she would share why it's so difficult and insists I reproduce it here- it's like trying to pop a water balloon by pinching it with your thumb and index. It's difficult because the water swishes about.

Okay whatever. Just make sure you always do it this quick.

 

Alien

November 19th 2010 9:27 am
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AVA sent a letter reminding them to renew my dog licence. It costs 14 dollars to renew it for a year. Pingping is so high maintenance, they said.

Yes yes, very funny. But they didn't stop at that.

"Maybe we should not renew her licence, let her be an alien and then we can scare her by telling her she can't go for walks in case they catch her!"

"And tell her she has to be very quiet and not bark when she's at home coz the neighbours might complain. And when they find out she doesn't have a licence they will get her!"

They're so stupid.

 

Not quite a dream anymore eh?

November 18th 2010 8:56 am
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Today Fomfomfom made Ah bee smell my toothbrush after she brushed my teeth.

"Poooooey, it's a fish market in there!"

Giggles.

 

No free smells!

November 17th 2010 8:00 am
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They're sick. They say I smell like a dream and they just keep sniffing me all over. That Ah bee is the worst of the lot; her nose is perpetually on my paw and like an addict she sniffs.

Hello, I'm not Famous Amos! You got to pay!

 

Nope no sign of life there

November 16th 2010 9:06 am
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Ah bee is on leave this week and she's been spending more time with the couch than with anybody else. And they just let her be. Sometimes I would walk out of my room to check on her, you know, in case she's died and no one knows. Plus I may just score a belly rub. But nope, no joy there. Unconscious. Dead to the world.

And they call me lazy!?

 

Stinky fart

November 15th 2010 9:00 am
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I was sleeping on my magic buttons when I let out a fart. It smelled real bad and it just won't go away. So I barked and said begone you stinker!

Except it didn't work and everyone laughed at me and called me a silly girl.

What lah. I wasn't about to sit in my own fart like an idiot.

 
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