Remember where

I suddenly remembered 5 jiao! But where is it? I rummaged through my memory, and remembered that I last played with it last night in the living room. So I barked at the pile of toys in the living room and summoned fomfomfom. Ah ma was very happy and thought that was so smart of me, to be able to remember where my toys are.

Then ah ma and fomfomfom went out to meet ah bee for lunch. They didn't bring me along and I was upset so I slept until ah ma came back. Fomfomfom was tired so she went to sleep and I barked and knocked on her door and whined when it was time to go to the gardens. She ignored me for a long time. I was like ants on hot coal. It was sufferin'.

And then we went to the gardens and we didn't even run. Fomfomfom walked me ALL THE WAY. Fancy that. That tired she was, the louse.

5 jiao

I had to go to the vet's today. There I was, screaming and kicking in fomfomfom's arms, walking as we were from the car to the clinic, and I opened my eyes for a second while I took a breather and there was a cat looking disdainfully at me. It was black white and pink too! I snorted at it and I shut my eyes and continued screamin' and kickin'. Let's fast forward. Then the vet woman's desk was covered with my anal sac juice. Giggle!

We came back and ah ma gave me 30 buckeroos! She had just received interest from the bank and was feeling rich. I told fomfomfom I want to buy a packet of tidbit with my 30 bucks and I want free access to the tidbit. She told me to buy it myself. Then she started walking out of the room and I called out to her, I want 2 packets! I wonder if she heard, so rude she was.

At night I got a banana toy. It squeaks like a cat in distress and ah bee rushed out of ah ma's room when she heard it. She thought a cat had gotten into the house and I was eating it up. The toy has 5 bananas and its name is 5 jiao. Sometimes I will call it Nana. Tres chic.

Cha is back!

Fomfomfom was my maid-in-waiting last night, she was in charge of seeing to all my needs during the night when I slept. A rather tasteless character. It was alright for me. But she kicked me out of the room without ceremony in the morning and continued sleeping for another hour.

Which brings me to, cha is back!!! I can sleep with her waiting on me tonight. But she has no present for me. She went to the market for 4 days, you know? She said I've grown bigger since 4 days ago. I was happy, so I jumped and jumped around the living room and I also pushed my volleyball Mikasa and shouted loudly, just once, at the same moment I pushed Mikasa.

Yawn.It is 1130 at night and ah bee and cha are only bathing now. It is time to turn in.

Mother's Day

It is Mother's Day today. Me and ah bee, we slept till 11am and didn't wish ah ma a happy day early in the morning so that she may be happy. We are ashamed.

Ah ma was eating some kaya cake at 5pm and fomfomfom caught her. Fomfomfom wasn't happy coz ah ma likes to eat unhealthy foods and she's so sneaky. Ah ma ought to be ashamed of herself. Fomfomfom said she's going to buy ah ma a health check-up package for mother's day instead of bringing her to that fantabulous new restaurant at the new majestic hotel.

Obviously ah bee and cha and fomfomfom didn't have a mother's day present for ah ma today so they all ought to be ashamed.

Ah bee said she went to town today and saw lots of people dragging their mothers out for a day of celebration. Everyone ought to be ashamed of themselves. Poor old mothers jostling in the crowd of poor old mothers.

I. I am nice to ah ma everyday. Ah ma is nice to me everyday. That's how it is here in my house, coz I love ah ma and ah ma loves me.

Ah ma took the bus

I watched tv with ah ma and fomfomfom this afternoon. It was the animal planet channel, a show about the american SPCA rescuing abused pets. Fomfomfom was positively shaking after that; she kept telling me the police are coming to catch her and put her in jail coz I'm too skinny. It is part of my plot. I eat only the best food and only a little bit so that I am skinny and then one day when I'm sick of fomfomfom, I'll call the police myself. Giggle.

Ah ma, she went out at night for dinner with a friend. Ah bee was out, and cha, she hasn't returned from the market. I was left with the aforementioned fomfomfom and she was watching some chinese show about lesbian celibate ah mahs. It was offensive to me so I went into ah ma's room to sleep in the dark.

And ah ma came back and I couldn't escape the strange fomfomfom fast enough.

Bwain fweeze!

Cha went to the market this morning. She said she'll be back on monday night and that I should be good. I think the market is called Phuket.

Ah ma, I think she went to Genting. There was this cd that arrived in the mail, see, and it says Europa Casino and ah ma was gone all night. I didn't see her until she emerged from fomfomfom's room at 1030 and then she went to bed.

I spent the night sleeping in ah ma's room. Ah bee was there too. We slept like babies for almost 3 hours. Then ah bee finally woke up and bathed and we sat at the porch admiring the moon, the stars and the satellites. Then as a treat, ah bee gave me cold milk in the milk carton cap and it was like, bwain fweeze! Giggle.

Ah ma and fomfomfom brought me to the gardens today. I ran too fast and ah ma had to carry me some distance back to the car. Coz ah ma loves me and I love ah ma.

Stowaway to Norway

It is my 3rd year and 5th month today. On this happy occasion, I received a package all the way from the united states. It is a customised car plate. It says, goddess. A tribute! Oh, countries have gone to war because of tribute demands. Peace to you, xiao papa.

Ah bee came back early today from work. Ah ma cooked up a storm. There were sharksfin soup, fish, fish and fish. The fish was good, so was the fish. And there was the fish, that was only for ah bee and fomfomfom was unhappy coz she also wanted the fish. And fomfomfom was further unhappy coz ah bee incited ah ma to scold her, and then when she tried to incite ah ma to scold ah bee, who said she wanted to burn ah ma's ugly blue blouse and ugly red blouse, it didn't work.

I watched a travel show with ah ma and ah bee and fomfomfom. It was to norway. I want to go to norway, but it would be cold so I would have to keep my hair long first. Then I'll have ah ma tie my hair up in bunches all over using ribbons so that I won't be unkempt. And there is also the problem of my passport. I don't have one. I think I'll be a stowaway to norway.

Shredder

Ah bee keeps bugging me to go to work with her. I took MC today. I'm going to take leave tomorrow coz it's my birthday--my 3rd year and 5th month, don't knock it-- and I'll plead insanity from then onwards. I can earn my keep by working as a shredder, there are lots to shred where ah bee works, but I would rather stay at home and play with ah ma and go the gardens and meet up with all my friends. The economy will just have to hum along without my contribution.

I went on an excursion today. Ah ma brought me to see my mama! Mama was nervous to see me, and she kept drooling so I didn't want to stress her. I played neck-to-neck with my sister and sniff-my-backside with my brother. It was astonishing.

But then it rained and I didn't get to go to the gardens. So ah ma brought me to our own garden to bark at passers by and I didn't want ah ma to carry me coz I'm a big girl already so I ran out to my lookout and i went squish squish squish.

Small yellow fishes taste quite quite wonderful.

Ma ah bee est too much

I vaguely remember ah bee. She works. But it doesn't work for me coz I don't get to see ah bee. And ah bee, right now, she goes to les amis to eat dinner. As the french would say, c'est too much.

Fomfomfom bought 2 t-shirts on sunday. One says little miss giggles, it is blue and it represents pingping. One says little miss shy and it is yellow and it represents fomfomfom. The t-shirts came from the UK, the land of pay-per-name.

Gobbledegook. It is a nice word. It pops into my mind because fomfomfom gibbers. Let me make a sentence using that glorious word: Ah bee has to write an IPO prospectus.

Giggle.

H is for hunny!

Cha has a towel to lay on the sofa so I may audaciously lie there whenever I like. It has a teaching. Well, not a teaching. It states. Hunny. So I extrapolate. Munny!

Which brings me to, Cha owes me munny. She owes me 5 dollars, that she does. It must come in 5 shiny coins, which will go into my rusty postbox piggy bank, which is not a piggy. The shininess contrasts with the rusty bank, so that it is artistic, which is important coz it then gives a warm fuzzy edge to the cold hard cash and makes it nice so that I will not be stripped of my innocence. A materialistic pingping! Oh the world is not ready.

Talking about munny, cha suggested I take out all the munny in my shoe box and my postbox and distribute among my mummies for mother's day. I wanted to cry, so fomfomfom said, don't do that to a kid. It was only then that I found strength to beam. Cha is materialistic and cruel to kids.

Ah bee yesterday went to the gardens and stepped on a thorn. It went through her flip flops and made 3 holes in her heel and there was blood and fomfomfom laughed and had to hold my leash while ah bee tried to clean up and destroy evidence of stupidity. But fomfomfom couldn't watch me carefully so that ants won't climb onto me coz her nose was running and she had to face the sky. I felt embarrassed to have 2 guardians behaving like that, and it was sunday and the gardens was crowded.

Fomfomfom felt a little embarrassed today when ah ma walked into starbucks and tried to make her eat tau sar piah. She shooed ah ma to go shopping and I think she should be ashamed of herself. Then fomfomfom had a tummyache after lunch and I think it was divine. Retribution.