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It's shit

January 7th 2011 5:46 am
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I don't know how it got to the topside of my rump. But there it was.

Ah bee wondered the same thing. It must be soil, she mused. But it looks like shit. Touched. It feels like shit. Sniffed. It smells like shit.

It tastes like...

 

In the stars

January 6th 2011 7:31 am
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Cha took out her ancient Chinese book of secrets - full of premonitions - and they spent nearly an hour pouring over the book.

My ancient Chinese is not too good but I think there is something in there about Fomfomfom being head of a fire station and Ah bee becoming a royal concubine in her winter years.

Something like that.

 

Scared

January 5th 2011 7:29 am
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Yesterday I met this elderly lady who returned from australia. She was asking me for directions so I helped her out. She told us how she used to have a maltese but he died when he was eight years old. It was raining and he had just come back from a pee session when his heart gave out coz he was afraid of thunder and he died in her son's arms. Oh dear. I know a lot of doggies are afraid of thunder, like my sugar mummy and that bean bean. Luckily I'm not scared.

Singapore storms a lot.

 

Eliza Lee

January 4th 2011 6:54 am
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is the cutest Primary One girl in the whole wide world!

We love how tiny she looked in her brand new oversized uniform, shoes and bag when we saw her coming back from school today.

She's mega.

 

Names never hurt me.

January 3rd 2011 7:11 am
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Ah ma is the usual culprit - she hurls insulting remarks my way everytime she walks by - but Ah bee has outdone her today.

Today Ah bee gassed me.

You heard me right.

She made me wait in the toilet while she took a dump. A long and smelly dump.

Later she tried to explain herself to everyone by saying there was no one else at home and pingping is so precious she must be watched at all times.

So Cha and Fomfomfom told her that I am a big girl now and it's ok to leave me alone for a while.

For good measure, I told her that I will call SPCA the next time she pulls something like this again.

Stupido.

 

Children

January 2nd 2011 7:31 am
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Today we took great care to tell the children that ah bee didn't get her curly hair by putting her head in the oven. We feared they might do just that and we'll be responsible for many lives.

And Eliza is nervous about starting primary school in 2 days, according to her daddy. But she's a survivor, said proud daddy. We think she's plotting to take over the school. And she'll succeed.

 

First unhappy day

January 1st 2011 7:12 am
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It must not be a prelude. I had only 2 walks today. It was raining like it won't stop in the evening and I lost the chance when the darkness descended like an unhappy veil. Excuse my literature. I'm just venting.

So venting I was, and my mamas decided I had to be placated so I got supper. It was 5 pork satays and I descended too, like the veily night. Only I descended into a food coma and I woke up so I can go to bed.

Bed is beckoning and I must seek rest and solace and if it comes to that, medical attention. I still like satays, though.

 

Happy New Year Pull Your Ear!

December 31st 2010 8:27 am
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Eliza saw ah bee's new curly hair today and asked if she had put her head into the oven.

We had wanted to go to bed early and not do our yearly count up to the new year. But my mamas got caught up in the 20 year old songs of Stella Chang. I didn't like them, she can only sing perfectly, she can't rap like all other people these days.

It was more than an hour of torture before I got my first kisses of the year and they let me go to sleep.

I'm going to have nightmares all year.

 

Oscar and his adventures

December 30th 2010 7:43 am
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Oscar was an abandoned dog at a shelter who was adopted by his now owner one day before he was due to be put down. He and his owner then embarked on a world tour to highlight the plight of 400 million homeless dogs in the world.

We totally support this cause! Why buy when you can adopt!

 

Disaster

December 29th 2010 7:47 am
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Ah bee came home with curly hair and everyone laughed. Fomfomfom suggested I go get a curly 'do too. I should ask for the tightest curl available and pretend to be a poodle.

No way.

 
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