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2 silly boys

November 30th 2016 5:15 am
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Today we met Brownie. He went burrowing and got sand on his nose and then he licked his nose and shuddered. He's so silly. His mummy told us they're moving in a month's time. I guess Brownie'll have to get used to the taste of some other sand.

Then Dexter came ambling by. Brownie's mummy told us he was a police dog and we were about to be awed when she said he failed his exams coz he only knows how to play.

They're all so silly.


Small bear to big mouse

November 29th 2016 6:51 am
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Fomfomfom cut my hair today. And then at bedtime she told me it's the end of the year and it's going to be cold so I'll have to cover myself with a towel when I sleep.

So why on earth did she cut my hair!?


We'll just make them buy more

November 28th 2016 6:48 am
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Ah ma put my 10 packs of roo together with her tidbits. Fomfomfom said now that's a new low for that woman. It's never happened before. Ah bee said that's coz ah ma loves me so much she wants to put all our tidbits together.

Left unvoiced was the suspicion that ah ma wants to sample my tidbit coz that woman's got a (greedy) mouth on her. But it's ok.

Coz ah ma loves me and I love ah ma.


Zhuzhu''s method

November 27th 2016 7:13 am
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Cha and fomfomfom complained to ah bee that I was very naughty last night. They said I kept barking even after I was fed and after the lights were turned off. So tonight ah bee tried something she learnt from my sister Zhuzhu. She had observed once many many years ago when I wouldnt stop barking, my sister came over and sat on me and it shut me up immediately. Obviously ah bee didn't sit on me but she put her arms around me and pressed her head onto mine. She's tried it before and it worked the other time so she thought it would again. Well it didn't this time so they will just have to think up some new ways but really, nothing keeps me from my roo.


Panties on fire

November 26th 2016 2:35 am
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The roo came but we still spent all day waiting for it. Coz the delivery man didn't bother to ring the bell even though ah bee had specified he should; he simply left the 10 packs of roo outside our door while we waited and waited and waited. When I had to go for my evening walk, we opened the door and ah bee let loose an expletive.

Ah bee said in the morning that she was going to open every packet and let me have a sample from each to do a quality check. She didn't.

Everyone's a liar.


Bad deliveries

November 25th 2016 3:16 am
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I was waiting all day for my kangaroo jerky delivery but it never came. Then 2 hours after the latest delivery time, someone messaged and said it won't be delivered until tomorrow. Bad.

You know what else didn't get delivered? Our army tanks that were supposed to come back from Taiwan. They got detained at Hongkong. We were watching Chinese tv just now and the idiotic commentators saying stupid things about Singapore made us so angry.

Everyone should be friends with everyone.


All I want for Christmas

November 24th 2016 5:44 am
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We were watching Dogs 101 in ah ma's room when there was a wonderdog segment. It featured a doggie who rescued her owner who got lost in a blizzard and almost died of hypothermia. Then they started discussing how I saved ah bee's life when she pretended to faint when I was a baby P. I circled her and she didn't move so I went to bark at the maid to tell her to collect the body. They fussed over me at the memory.

Ah ma chose the goodies she wants for Christmas. The catalogue was on her sofa and looked well-thumbed. I shall need a pork knuckle and ham for christmas.


Us and Hongkong

November 23rd 2016 7:32 am
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There's a very serious housing problem in hongkong. 268 square feet in wan chai costs a million Singapore dollars. That's so frightening. That's about the size of my room. And if you want to apply for public housing the waiting time is 32 years.

And then we saw in the papers that our government is releasing new subsidised housing. The cheapest one bedroom flat with 40 years lease will cost you only $3000 if you meet all the conditions and are eligible for the various grants.

Our hearts are bursting with pride and gratitude.


The Dead Hooker Part 2

November 22nd 2016 2:54 am
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It seems it might be an episode of the Big Bang Theory. We don't know. We don't dare to go into the file coz we fear the laptop might explode. We'll see.

It's a blackjack day today. I saw so many friends that I lost count. It's like you keep getting black jacks and double aces even after the children are crying. You can't stop luck.

My mikasa was out in the rain all last night on the balcony and fomfomfom was filled with dismay when she saw it first thing in the morning. Ah bee washed it and complained it's grimy and dirty and I heard them discussing using a brush on it. A toothbrush, ah bee said. Fomfomfom said that'd take forever and said perhaps they'll use the brush ah ma uses to brush me during my baths.

The rest is too undignified to note.


The dead hooker

November 20th 2016 11:58 pm
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Ah bee found something called The Dead Hooker Season 2 on fomfomfom's computer and fomfomfom swore she doesn't know anything about it but promised to review it if ah bee would get her Season 1. We don't know how that thing came to be in fomfomfom's computer but it has been there for four years now apparently and ah bee is contemplating throwing away fomfomfom's computer. I think fomfomfom doesn't deserve to own a computer. It's not as if she knows how it works.

Dead hookers are probably toxic.

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