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Mid autumn festival

September 8th 2014 11:04 am
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It's maf today so of course I got lanterns. I had 2 of them. The first is of a cartoon baby snake and I disposed of it quickly by stomping on it and then tearing it to pieces. The second one had Loony Toons characters all over it. Both Cha and ah bee's boyfriend were confounded by it; they took a really long time to assemble that one. I didn't like it anyway coz it was too structured and enforced with wires on the inside so I couldn't destroy it.

So ah ma hung it from between her mattress and the frame and it was at a perfect height for me. I was happy watching the light change colours.

Happy maf everyone!



September 7th 2014 9:23 am
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My fringe is a little long and Fomfomfom is not around to cut it. So Ah ma has been scheming to tie it up with a rubber band.

Poor Ah ma. She's so delusional. It's okay I still love her very much.

In other news, Ah bee tells me she dreamt of her dead grandmother last night. We think it's very strange coz it's been a really long time since she passed on. The Chinese believe that when you dream of dead people, it's because they have something to tell you.

I can't imagine what her ah ma has to tell her but I think she should go offer her incense tomorrow.


Where's fomfomfom

September 6th 2014 10:22 am
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Fomfomfom left with her luggage today. She said she's going away for two weeks and she can't bear to leave me for so long. Yes she is needy that way.

So ten minutes after she left, ah bee took a picture of me and sent it to her and told her to cry and die.

We practise tough love in this house.


Ah bee who

September 5th 2014 10:06 am
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A strange woman came into our house late last night. I was about to call the police but everyone seem to know her. So I approached and she kissed me.

of course! It was Ah bee! I recognise that smelly mouth anywhere.

I spent the whole of today guilt-tripping her for disappearing for so long.


Senile and poor

September 4th 2014 7:57 am
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We were all ready to put heartworm medicine on me today. Fomfomfom booked a slot with ah ma for me to bathe. Cha asked fomfomfom to remove my collar. Later fomfomfom asked Cha why I'm not behaving like a madwoman, like I usually do. Cha exclaimed that she had forgotten the heartworm medicine. And there I was running around naked without my collar. Of course I didn't bathe today.

And fomfomfom whispered to me she put $17 worth of petrol in her little car today. I didn't ask her why but I thought perhaps she's not doing too well financially.

I'm quite a sensitive soul.


The match

September 3rd 2014 5:09 am
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Nothing happened today so I will write about yesterday and expose fomfomfom. We were passing by the badminton court when grandpa shinri held up his badminton racket and told her to play with his grandson. Fomfomfom politely declined and pointed to me but grandpa shinri took my leash and handed her his racket. Fomfomfom had no choice but to play. When he started keeping score, fomfomfom was horrified. We thought perhaps we could play just 30 seconds and then flee. It became a 5 minute match. It was real intense coz fomfomfom was desperate to get to me so she thrashed poor kenji, who has lots of potential, by the way.

Anyway, the 5 minutes almost killed fomfomfom so I solemnly told her she needs to start exercising. How unfit we are.



September 2nd 2014 8:11 am
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The most notable thing that happened today is ah ma bought new insoles for her shoes. Then she got out scissors and cut them to fit in her shoes. I'm very happy for ah ma.

And ah ma cooked a big pot of bamboo shoots for dinner. Fomfomfom declared she had been smelling it stew away for a whole day, and she ate a lot of it. Then she kept farting during my evening walk.

I didn't smell anything so maybe bamboo shoots produce nice gas.


A good long life

September 1st 2014 6:44 am
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Yesterday I heard from Sandy's maid that Brandy had died eleven days before they got Sandy. It wasn't that long ago. She was 17 years and 2 months old.

I'm glad she remained ferocious throughout, just the way I've always known her to be.


Ah ma washes my toys

August 31st 2014 8:30 am
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Ah ma washed all my toys today. Well, at least she washed one carton of them. They are all my current favourite toys. The sun was out and my toys were all drying at the balcony and I had to stand guard. It was tiring business indeed.

Then it rained and fomfomfom collected my toys and spread them out in the dining area. I had to guard them but I was so tired so I slept right in the middle of them all. It worked.

No theft occurred.


Bathe day

August 30th 2014 6:27 am
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Ah ma did her Saturday party and happily told us they did nasi lemak today, with the works. Like chicken wings, the fried fish, cucumber and fish cakes. I feel happy for them.

I didn't fare so well myself today. I ended up with the fomfomfom special.

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