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News around the world

December 29th 2014 2:32 am
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We've been watching CNN these two days coz of the plane that's vanished and the ferry that caught fire. Such terrible terrible news.

Then we heard that a hippo from the Taiwan zoo died because its lungs collapsed after being dropped twice from a height. Ah ma and I were so sad to hear that.

It's a sad world.

 

Angry

December 28th 2014 7:19 am
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Last night I was so angry. They brought forward my evening walk and then the night was so long and boring. Then I tried to tell them to start my routine but no one listened. Then ah bee's idiot boyfriend made me angry and then he was angry that I was angry so we sat with out backsides facing each other. Then he had to leave and ah bee rebuked him for not saying goodbye to me so he ran back in and kissed my head then he ran out. How dared he kiss me after our quarrel. Therefore I was in a real bad mood and I didn't want supper and fomfomfom came back with churros that she ate in front of me since it was for that idiot ah bee's boyfriend who had already gone home. Angry.

Today I was still in a foul mood so I insisted I walk through a muddy field. Fomfomfom shrieked and ran off after she got a little mud on her big toe so I carried on and blazed a trail myself. Ah bee said I was a very naughty dirty girl and my feet got so muddy I looked like I was wearing brown boots. Then fomfomfom used shampoo on me when we got home. Angry.

Angry.

 

How dare he

December 27th 2014 4:41 am
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We met Coffee this morning and he had the audacity to sit on the stone table when I was on the floor. It made me angry so I shouted at him until his mummy put him on the floor. Then I climbed on ah bee's lap and I looked down on him while he sat on the floor.

Order thus restored.

 

Unhappy

December 26th 2014 5:45 am
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It rained all day again and I'm not happy. But I didn't have diarrhoea from all that feastin' yesterday so I guess they're happy.

Cha dragged her luggage out again and I'm sleeping with ah bee tonight. I hope she's not too weird.

I went shopping today at the minimart and I wanted to buy salted fish to give to ah ma but ah bee and fomfomfom happily told everyone I have no money. I thought of saving up but they don't give me any pocket money.

It's a harsh world when a girl can't buy salted fish for her grandmammy.

 

Happy Christmas

December 25th 2014 1:56 am
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It's Christmas today and per tradition, I got crackling. It almost didn't crackle because fomfomfom put it in the microwave instead of the oven. Luckily we managed to salvage it.

I hope you had a delicious and cracklin' Christmas too!

 

Christmas eve

December 24th 2014 6:42 am
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Today Crispy came again. He's so horrible, cheering everyone and drinking their wine. I certainly wasn't drinking wine when I was 2 years old. I dunno if it's something I should report to the police. But I didn't dwell on that question for long, coz they shut me up with ham. It was a whole leg of ham, and ah ma was struggling with a freshly sharpened cleaver with it for quite a while. I got like 3 bites and it was nice. They promised to feed me something even better tomorrow.

I gotta sleep now so that tomorrow will come sooner.

 

Miracles

December 23rd 2014 7:21 am
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Fomfomfom has been eating rubbish for the past week so of course she is constipated. She remembers how a friend strongly recommends prune juice so she thought she'd try. But the prune juice has so much sugar in it that fomfomfom only dared drink 2 mouthfuls. But lo and behold! Her toilet visit was so successful me and ah bee could smell the stink where we were watching tv. Therefore, prune juice is good.

And, ah bee stomped on a flying mosquito and killed it. I think that mozzie ought to be ashamed of itself. But it's all too late now.

 

Royalty

December 22nd 2014 2:09 am
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Ah bee saw in this encyclopedia of dogs that shih tzus were the go-to breed for the Chinese royal family. That we long knew. What we didn't know was that commoners were not allowed to keep shih tzus. I think it must have been a capital offence. Maybe it still is. That's why they give me ratty haircuts so people can't tell I'm a shih tzu.

How devious.

 

The animal game

December 21st 2014 3:39 am
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Ah bee's boyfriend suggested playing a word game. One person would name an animal and the other person would have to name another that starts with the last letter. Ah bee begged, can I start first, can I start first, ooh, please pretty please? Of course, replied the gracious boyfriend. Start away.

Ox, said the bee. And that was quite the shortest game ever.

 

Karaoke

December 20th 2014 3:52 am
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Fomfomfom went to karaoke with her friends last night and they all told her she should make a living as a singer. But what if a gangster or worse Kim Jong Un sees you and takes a liking to you, I asked her. Then he will kidnap you and we will never see you again!

She told me her voice is not for everyone to hear. I guess that means we are safe from fomnappers.

 
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