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October 31st 2014 10:41 pm
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So today hello kitty turned 40 years old and fomfomfom went out real early for her run. Only it started raining about 2 minutes into the run and I think they spent the rest of the time holing it out in a cafe.

Which is a blessing in disguise, according to fomfomfom. One month of training and she couldn't even keep her beer-guzzling, overweight friend in sight for that 2 minutes, much less keep up with her. How terribly embarrassing.

I knew it was a stupid idea right from the start.


My ah ma

October 31st 2014 6:12 am
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Cha changed a phone and ah ma requested to have her old iPhone. So Cha set about teaching ah ma on all the functions of her very first smart phone. Ah ma took selfies of herself and held conversations with Siri. I think it's wonderful. Now if I'm too tired to keep ah ma company, Siri can take my place.

Oh, and the happiest thing. Ah ma went to the casino today and won for the first time in like a million visits. I got me a hundred bucks. Beam.



October 30th 2014 7:13 am
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There was leftover sour and spicy soup so ah bee decided she'd heat it up and finish it. Only the soup was thickened with cornflour and it became lumpy after it had cooled. Later ah bee told fom that the soup was so lumpy it was like there was sago in there. But she drank it all anyway.

Fomfomfom said Ah bee has lumps in her head. I have to agree.


A whole new world

October 29th 2014 7:15 am
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I didn't see Sammy today and she didn't make any outrageous comments so I shall write about me.

The workmen had to paint outside our house today. So they put ugly blue sheeting over the front door. When I came back from my morning walk, I couldn't go in the door. Ah bee was so anxious that she stood in the kitchen reading a magazine, waiting for me to come back. It seemed that she wanted Cha to pass me through fomfomfom's window, or possibly through the kitchen window. And then cha would be left to her own devices. They're so stupid. I walked in through the back door.

And for the heck of it, I did it again in the evening, even though the front door had long been accessible. It's a whole different world, the back door is, I tell you.


So many mouse

October 28th 2014 2:57 am
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Sammy asked to see my baby pictures just now so fom showed her one of my siblings and me. She took one look and said,"Why so many mouse?"

Children are so disrespectful nowadays.


Bloody Mint

October 27th 2014 6:19 am
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Today I got mowed down by the Mint. I hate it. They call it my pet but I really have no feelings for it. All it does is sweep and mop and mow me down.

I'm giving it up for adoption.



October 26th 2014 5:19 am
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Ah bee and fom have been bloated for weeks now and they cannot understand why. Then fom had a eureka moment and she said maybe it's all the tofu we have been eating for lunch. GM soy products apparently can cause estrogen levels to go crazy - some guy drank 1 litre of soy milk daily for we don't know how long and his estrogen levels were higher than a woman's.

Modern living is so hazardous.


It's worth it

October 25th 2014 7:22 am
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Yesterday fomfomfom was cutting liver in the kitchen when I caught a whiff of it. I stood patiently outside the kitchen and fomfomfom was so impressed by my sense of smell and courtesy that she immediately boiled 2 big pieces for me.

And then I had diarrhoea this morning.


Real old eggs

October 24th 2014 7:11 am
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Today I went shopping in the minimart and I discovered these fantastic smelling eggs. They were salted eggs and century eggs. Ah bee and the shop auntie then got into a discussion about whether century eggs were really made using horse urine. I had to set them straight; how ignorant they are.

Horse urine is used to make hormone pills, not century eggs. Century eggs are of course made using centuries. Duh.


Eyes and ears

October 23rd 2014 8:33 am
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Ah ma says her vision is a bit cloudy these days so cha brought her to see an eye doctor today. Turns out she doesn't have cataract; her eyes are a little dry that's all. Nothing to worry about.

We cannot say the same for ah bee's ears. She went to watch two tennis matches today and she said Maria Sharapova's grunts sounded so obscene her ears nearly fell out.


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