Ah bee who

Ah bee has been disappearing of late, out gallivanting I bet. It's not like I miss her or even enjoy her company much but this cannot be allowed to carry on. She didn't even ask me for a leave of absence. I shall have to start taxing her soon.

I'm skeletal

Fomfomfom weighed me today and found I had dropped 5% of my body weight. Then they felt me all over, and declared how skinny I was. They said they're all heartbroken and will increase my supper kibble from now on. But it's still no buffet until I clear my blood test.

So hungry I was, I picked something off the ground during my evening walk and wanted to eat it. Fomfomfom tried to dig it out of my mouth so I put a hole in her pinky.

She can put that bloody pinky next to her broken heart. I'm hungry.

Never ending

I thought to myself after mummy bandit decided not to have any more little bandits that I'll at last have peace and quiet on my walks. Well at least after Sam grows up a little more and becomes too cool to talk to us.

But I was wrong. Because this condo keeps popping out babies like they don't cost a thing. It was a very noisy evening walk I had.

Must be something in the water.

I. Am. Hungry.

They have been speculating whether I have lost some weight on the brutal diet they imposed on me. But they keep forgetting to weigh me so they can't be sure. Anyway, I spent tonight waiting for ah bee and Cha to come back from their theatre outing so fomfomfom, in her benevolence and magnanimity, gave me 35 kibble instead of the usual 25.

I suppose I should be grateful.

Poor Nana

We were just wondering if Nana went for a staycation with her mummy over the Chinese new year holiday coz we haven't seen her around. Turns out she was running a high fever and spent a few days in the hospital. It must have been terrible coz, according to fomfomfom, she has reverted to her morose ways.

That poor baby girl.

Valentines day

It seems today is that stupid day known as Valentine's Day. It don't make much sense to me. In fact, I think it's downright offensive.

And it strikes me I haven't seen ah bee yet today. Might she be so overwhelmed by passion this stupid day she's gone to her valentine?

Me, I'm just hungry. I ate my supper myself instead of waiting for fomfomfom to hand feed me kibble by kibble. A girl could starve. And they praised me to the skies.

No end of stupidity, today.

Uh oh

We heard from Alexis' grandma the other day that she's really particular about hygiene. And we smiled politely coz we were thinking how particular can a one and a half year old be, right?

As though we had said our thoughts out loud, Alexis took off her crocs and started examining them very carefully. Then she held them up to her grandma and said, "Toot-bra" and did a brushing action. We believe her grandma.

And today we saw little Alexis emerging from the toilet. Her sister went over and tried to hold her hand. Alexis held up her hands to her face, stared at them and in about 2 seconds, she starting screaming. The kind of scream reserved for when you discover your hands have been blown off. We later found out that she had just washed her hands, and no one was allowed to touch them before they were dry.

Very particular.

My anxious mummy

It is the third day of the Chinese new year and there was a party at my ah yi mama's place. Ah ma thought I should pay a visit to my sugar mummy so they brought me along.

I haven't seen my mummy for years. But I was so nervous about going out. That place was full of strange people. Mummy was wracked with anxiety and so was I. Fomfomfom had to carry me throughout. I guess I won't be going there next year.

At least I know where I get that anxiety from.

When 'no more' takes on a new meaning

They try to feed me my kibble. I'll refuse to eat. They'll say 'no more' and throw the kibble back into the container. That's my cue to start growling and wagging my tail. Then they'll offer me again. I will probably refuse to eat again. Repeat from the top a few times until I tire of the game.

That was pre blood test.

Now they count out 25 kibble. I eat them all. They say 'no more'. And it's really no more.

So miserable I am.

Chinese new year

Last night I peed on ah ma's rug after the reunion dinner coz I was angry they didn't feed me more liver. After ah ma had gone to bed, I made fomfomfom open ah ma's door and I peed on the replacement rug again. Whee.

It turns out I had had too much liver. I felt unwell in the middle of the night, took several walks around the house at 430 am and started honking at 730 in the morning. Everyone jumped out of bed and I got a close-to-2 hour walk downstairs immediately. They thought my breathing difficulties could be due to overeating or the 4 chinese new year red packets under my pillow. Maybe I'm allergic to the fancy envelopes.

No one knows, but they decided to detox me anyway. I'm so hungry, while they're bingeing on all the new year goodies.

Boo.