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January 31st 2015 3:43 am
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I honked twice and ah bee immediately brought me downstairs. I didn't honk anymore after that and everyone was happy. Only it was 330 and we decided to make it my evening walk. It was kinda hot. We went home at 610 and I told ah ma they were trying to starve me. Ah ma agreed.

Coffee's mother asked ah bee if she'd grown since she last saw us. Fomfomfom said we've all grown fatter but no one's grown taller.

I guess she didn't know ah bee is 30, not 12.



January 30th 2015 7:29 am
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Cha disappeared this morning with her luggage.I didn't want to be a stowaway because I heard ah ma was going to buy me suckling pig.

Only she didn't. Turns out the suckling pig stall has gone out of business. I got some roasted meat instead. It was not bad. They also came back with 9 pots of flowers. Ah ma says she wants to buy more next week. Luckily our balcony is big.

They thought I might be feeling a little unwell so they decided to test me with ah bee's smelly towel. She has 3 smelly towels that she keeps on her bed. I think they must be like 20 years old. There's one I tore years ago in the shape of a cross. She gave me another one to play with just now and I went at it. There were little pieces of cloth on the floor after I was done. Ah bee says it's okay at least now we know she's feeling alright. I think she's putting on a brave front but I don't feel bad. She's much too old to have security anythings anyway.

I was doing her a favour.


Currencies and commodities

January 29th 2015 5:13 am
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Turns out fomfomfom was exaggerating when she said the money in my shoebox is worthless; it's only gone down about 1% against the greenback. Still I think it's too risky holding all this fiat money so I'm going to change it for something real, like commodities.

I told ah ma to take all the money in my shoebox and buy suckling pig with it. Then I will put all the pig in my stomach.

Can't get more real than that.


Up in smoke

January 28th 2015 5:39 am
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Today they told me that the Singapore government has depreciated our currency and that my shoebox is now worthless.

I'm very sad.



January 27th 2015 6:43 am
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The banana man's bird landed on fomfomfom's shoulder today. Fomfomfom jumped up in fright and huffed and puffed. How could that dumb bird mistake her for a 50 year old man who has gone to seed.

Then Sammy was upset and refused to kiss ah bee. We don't know what got her so sad.

I was the saddest of all coz it was my shower day and I get liver after my bath. But fomfomfom put my plate on top of a t shirt and the wind blew and the t shirt went into my plate and drank all my liver soup. By the time I came out of the bathroom, all the soup was gone.

Now the t shirt must get a bath.


My bench

January 26th 2015 6:28 am
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There's this woman who has been sitting at my bench at the BBQ pit in the evenings. She sits there with a can of coffee and a book and chain smokes like there's no tomorrow. I haven't been able to sit at my spot for a few times now because of her. But fomfomfom says she's the literary sort and so we can give her a little leeway and forgive her.

Well I can't read and I don't know what fomfomfom is insinuating but I would like my spot back please.



January 25th 2015 7:13 am
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I'm so happy today. Everyone is home and I didn't have to wait all night at the door. Ah ma gave me 1000hkd for my shoebox even though she didn't win anything at the casino. And ah ma was so tired this afternoon. She napped and almost couldn't wake herself up to cook dinner for her 3 useless daughters.

And there was the delicious fish skin from hong kong. I'm only guessing it's delicious. Coz ah bee was holding onto it like her life depended on it and won't give me any.



January 24th 2015 4:09 am
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Ah ma and fomfomfom are back! My little doggie world is complete now.


An avalanche of photos

January 23rd 2015 6:13 am
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Fomfomfom has been sending us truckloads of photos she's been taking of ah ma. I think we must have a few hundred now. My favourite is the one where ah ma rests her chin on her hand and looks smugly out of the bum boat she's on. She looks like she's having fun but I hope she's not having too much fun because i want them to come back.

Maybe I'll tell her ah bee is killing her flowers. That will bring her back.


Silver lining

January 22nd 2015 8:43 am
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Ah bee and cha are so boring. I've been moping around the house missing ah ma and fomfomfom. They finally decided I needed some cheering up so I got liver after my walk today. They should have broken it out sooner. Burp.

Anyway, ah bee was asking Sammy for a kiss today. I think she asked like 5 times but Sammy just ran away each time. Then we saw Sammy again in the distance and she ran towards us. Ah bee was bending down to pick a leaf off my back and when she turned her head, all she saw was Sammy all puckered up about 2 inches away from her face, leaning in for a kiss.

Ah bee was so delighted. I think that Sammy is just a creepy little girl. And that was a cheap trick.

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