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November 7th 2006 5:00 am
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Ah bee and fomfomfom are so useless. They keep opening packets of the smurf stickers they have. They have no discipline. The sticker book hasn't arrived yet, and they've already gone through 50 packets of stickers. Undisciplined and childish. That's why I'm the mama. The 50 remaining packets are mine!

Nothing to report today. It was boring and raining. I wanta sleep with my ah ma! On her sofa, backside to backside.

And fomfomfom is playing a very bad piece of I dunno what. Suppose it is a jazz piece. It's like maths. abc x 0 = 0. Jazz piece x fomfomfom = very bad. anything x fomfomfom x piano = 0.

I like smurfs. They are communists. I am a dictator! It's a dictation under me. I don't like dictation. I don't spell so well. My memory is not so good either. I don't like school. I like smurfs because they are blue. But I don't like blue M&Ms. I only like the ones with peanuts.


I want my ah ma

November 8th 2006 8:58 am
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Today ah ma went off to stay at a hotel. Without me. Oh how I hate.

Tonight Mindy came to play with me. I like.

My mamas watched a video on google of a shih tzu whining that he wants his mama. So useless. I don't like my mamas to watch other dogs. Wandering eyes are no good. I don't like.


The art of solitude

November 9th 2006 7:58 am
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We artistic types need solitude sometimes. All that activity around me, sometimes it's very trying. I can't always be the life of the party. Oh, trials and tribulations maketh a girl, they say. And made I am. It is a challenging household to be in. Yakity yakity yak yak.

As I was sayin', we artistic types. Solitude breeds creativity, as if we don't already know that. All that activity has stifled the seed of creativity in me. You know, seeds, flowers, bloom and all that stuff. The shoots of creativity has since died--I can't think of a creative instance since I hid my poo under the treadmill. It was so creative that even I forgot about it, until they moved the treadmill, that is, and found some sort of fossilised poo. It was one of my better moments.

Excuse me now. I need some me time. But they always disturb my lonely reverie. Perhaps I will go lie under ah bee's tom drums by my lonesome self and create away. Perhaps a post modern intepretation of my left profile. Scratched on the floor, perhaps, or on the skins of ah bee's drums. Perhaps a more creative medium, ah ma's popiah skins! Oh, I feel it all coming back in a rush. Oh, it is empowering. Move over, van gogh.


Our birthday

November 10th 2006 4:54 am
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I like 10 November. It is the only day in the whole year when I share a birthday with ah ma. It's her year birthday, it's my month birthday. I tried to persuade her to celebrate monthly, but she said she's not a birthday whore like me.

Gasp. Ah ma called me a birthday what? It is terrible. But she might be right. So many lifetimes, perhaps we all were, once. You know why? Coz I'm a buddhist. It is my religion, that's why I believe in many lifetimes. Not the cat's 9 lifes. Cats are not buddhists, they're just stubborn and refusing to die.

Buddha is not a god, you know. He's my teacher. There's no god in buddhism, I think. It's just a way of life. It says, ye should not kill. But I ate chicken rice today. But man is not intended to be vegetarians. I think. Not doggies either. Nature intended us to eat meat, no? I dunno. It just seems natural to me.

Fomfomfom said she saw monks at an expensive restaurant a few days ago. And monks taking a vacation in New Zealand last year. Therefore, ye shall not kill. It is ok to eat meat. Monks shall be austere. And take vacations and eat at expensive restaurants! See? It is ok. Anything is ok. Even if you are caught.

Um, maybe I was a vet in my last life. I saw the vet today. I dislike her. Like fomfomfom used to be a lawyer. She dislikes lawyers. The vet said I can't have a ramly burger from the pasar malam. And then she says she wants a ramly burger too. I told you I dislike vets.

Today I am 2 years 11 months old. Ah ma is 61! Ooh, gotta go. I have to comtemplate. Omm.


I survived without the internet

November 12th 2006 6:36 am
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I grow up yet another day. Everyday, I grow up another day. Just like that. Like what? I dunno. Like that.

Without the internet!! Yesterday we didn't have internet access coz the blue box went bonkers. It was good, coz I didn't have to sit down and write my diary. I can lump it together with today's diary. So yesterday, I did...nothing. Oh, but I had lots of tidbits. Coz ah bee and fomfomfom were bingeing away, so I got some bbq ribs, some crunchy pork floss, yum!

Yesterday taken care of, let's move on to today. Today, I did...nothing much. I welcomed passers by. It has been a few days since I went out, coz it's been raining, you see. I barked for 2 hours, now I'm exhausted.

End of the day. In many many many words, I told you what I did today and yesterday. When tomorrow comes, you come ask me what I did the last 2 days. I will answer you, nothing! Isn't it happy? Giggle.

So what did you do today?



November 13th 2006 5:04 am
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Ah ma scolded me. It was mahjong day today, and I only wanted the mahjong girls. I didn't want ah ma. So ah ma scolded me. I dunno, but what's the biggie? I would want ah ma after the mahjong girls had gone home. So what's she unhappy about?

And then at dinner time, I heard ah gong coughing in the kitchen coz something he was eating went down the wrong way. Ah ma continued eating like nothing was the matter, so I had to bark at her to save my ah gong. It was like the time when I barked to get attention for someone to save my ah bee when ah bee fainted. I said, Mayday, Mayday! But nobody ever pays any attention.

So ah gong was in his coughing fit, and ah ma focused on finishing her dinner. And then she warmed up my dinner! Throughout I was barking at her to save my ah gong. Oh, my anxiety. Luckily, ah gong was alright in the end.

If you are in this house, you best not faint or feel unwell. No one cares. Fomfomfom told me not to bark and just pick up the phone to dial for an ambulance next time.

But I'm not tall enough. And I can't remember the number.


Adversity and solitude

November 14th 2006 7:25 am
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I wanted some solitude. Ah ma cut the grass today, it was so noisy. My head pounding, I went into the house and immediately took in a lungful of baygon. Ah ma said there were ants. High on the stuff, I attempted to finish welcoming passers by this evening.

Oh, it wasn't easy. Only my perseverance saw me through. At night, I wanted some solitude. Then ah bee joined me. What it was, with 2 people, it was no longer solitude. Of course, you know that.

It was solitude x 2, extra solitude.


On the shoulders of giants

November 15th 2006 5:46 am
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I wanted cha to carry me today. The 1st time, in the morning, we went to the garden to watch the gasman deliver gas to the neighbour. Now I know how to deliver gas.

A world of learning can be done on cha's shoulders! Oh, what a revelation. Thus bitten by the learning bug, I bugged cha to carry me twice more.

Of course, you have to be selective about your platform. If I had asked ah bee or fomfomfom to carry me, without doubt I would have ended up in the bathroom getting my ears cleaned.

That bit of knowledge is useful too, just like my newfound knowledge on the finer points of gas delivery.



November 16th 2006 9:05 am
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This afternoon, i was hiding under the tom while ah bee and fomfomfom tried to capture me with a blanket. Cha came to my rescue and I asked her to carry me. Then I found myself getting my ears washed. Cha has defected to the dark side.

At midnight, fomfomfom brought me out to the porch. It was not something I was familiar with, the outside world at night. But it was quite wonderful.The air was fresh, there were no cars passing by the house, no baygon. And then it was quiet and cool, and there was a constant breeze, my porch fan! I sniffed and sniffed the air, it smelled so good.

Then I sniffed the tiles on the porch, all over. It smelled like the moonlight that's shining on it. Um no, it was the porch light, there was no moon. I sniffed every inch of the porch floor and went after a few ants. I also stood up to reach a big flower pot and sniffed a fern. It smelled nice too.

I looked up and saw a lot of stars. Twinkle and twinkle. It was my first time looking at stars. They were nice too. Even the satellites were nice.

Outside on the streets, the street lamps were shining a bright orange on the leaves on the trees. In the day, the leaves are green. Now they are the color of shadows and bright orange. It was dark, but not gloomy, it was just peaceful and everything was still. I wasn't scared at all because fomfomfom was with me and I could just turn inwards and there would be ah bee and all the bright lights in the house.

I really appreciated it.

I told fomfomfom that she should bring me out every night to do my appreciation. And I told her, who was demoted a few days ago to fomfomfomfomfomfomfom, that she's promoted to fom.

Then suddenly I found myself being carried to the bathroom to have eyedrops put into my ears. The woman was demoted again, to fomfomfom.



November 17th 2006 7:45 am
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The tension was thick between me and ah ma today. After my bath, she tried to snatch my milkstick. In the evening, she scolded me for walking too slowly behind her. At night, she was preoccupied with her nintendo casino game. I had to eat by myself, walk around by myself, and sleep alone in a corner.

When fomfomfomcame home from dinner, ah ma, her eyes glued to her nintendo, informed fomfomfom that no one wanted to play with me. I was hurt. Tears came to my eyes and fomfomfom comforted me. Ah ma finally threw me out of her room after she had had enough of gambling.

But I still love ah ma.

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